When I broke up with my college girlfriend back in my Baptist days, she was completely distraught. Let’s call her Petunia. Petunia was wanting to save her first kiss for her future husband, but I had her so co-dependent on me that she initiated our first kiss. [Admittedly I was a very late bloomer, but I made up for it in natural charisma.]

I assured her that I knew I was in love with her and that we would get married, but after we had dated for almost three months, I changed my mind, claiming that it was in both of our best interests.

Love Story

Heartiste lays out two possible ways women will react to a major break-up. Most girls cry, eat chocolate, and try to convince themselves they are better without him. Petunia was in the the second category, the “lashes out bitterly with rage and spite” category with “attempt to poison the well of whatever friendships or associations you shared” and “make it difficult for you to get her out of your life,” and it was difficult to avoid her since we went to the same church.

I have a small scar from about a month after the break-up when she dug her nails into my wrist. A few months later, she would still break into tears over me at the college Bible studies. All of that, and I never even gave her the dick. If I were a modernist under the delusion that women had all the capabilities I have, then I would have turned into a misogynist. Fortunately, I was able to write her behavior off as “just being a girl.”

Finally after almost a year, Petunia started teaching an ESL class at church and began dating a student. He was an off-the-boat Mexican who could barely speak English, and like most volunteer Christian ESL teachers, she didn’t know any Spanish. I told her, “I find it funny that we used to practice our German together, and now you practice your English together!” She didn’t laugh.

After dating him for six months, they got engaged and then married a year later in a wedding attended by several incel former friends I had introduced her to.

Petunia and I were a perfect example of what happens when two people have great chemistry and the emotional maturity of 15-year-olds. I doubt it’s a coincidence that he—much like I—was the only person willing to show her affection. But it’s not that she was ugly or androgynous. Petunia was a basket case and drained anyone who talked to her.

It took me three months after meeting her before I was willing to let her out of the friendzone, and it wasn’t until after she got with the new guy that I realized I shouldn’t have broken up with her so impulsively. [There’s a catharsis somewhere in writing this piece.]

I like to think that Petunia and the Mexican were actually in love, found things in common, and won’t get divorced within three years, but realistically she is probably bored out of her mind. I may have ruined her life. Most human beings would feel guilty upon realizing this.

Perhaps I’m a stone-hearted bastard, but I don’t let myself feel intimidated by such ever-changing notions of morality or “past mistake.” Petunia is an autonomous human being with free will to make choices. Or perhaps we all act as billiard balls, but either way I can’t be held responsible for her misery. Or won’t be held responsible. Either or, but who cares?

She is out of my life and with a different person. Now Pachico is responsible for making sure she’s happy. Or maybe they’re divorced with a baby and she’ll wind up alone like my mother. All her choices. She chose to date me, she chose to let down her emotional guard, and afterwards she chose to marry the first man who showed interest. Petunia chose to pursue Hollywood notions of infatuation.

Morality The Chameleon

Consider my friend Frederick. His high school girlfriend Ethel was absolutely in love with him, but he just thought she was a convenient person to have sex with. He never cheated on her, but he never really liked her either. After they broke up for the last time, she became very empowered, got knocked up, and bragged on Facebook about how she didn’t have a man in her life. The sexually liberated woman at her finest.

Frederick felt bad about Ethel for a long time. Like most westerners, Frederick sadly has fallen to emotivist ethics. Emotivism is an ethical theory that sees morality in terms of aesthetic judgments. Perhaps it is not “true morality,” but it is the common worldview of today. Killing innocents is ugly, while building hospitals is beautiful.Chemically-induced euthanasia is ugly, but pulling a feeding tube is beautiful. Calling your wife “the boss” is beautiful, but calling your husband “the boss” is ugly. Banging an 18-year-old is beautiful, but banging a 17-year-old is ugly—unless the 17-year-old is male.

Emotivism summarizes why a man would white-knight or call himself a feminist. Surely he has realized his lack of sex. Surely he has watched men ridicule him. Even though he sees that women always go for the assholes, he still maintains his position out of a sense of morality.

What good is truth if it has no function? Men have absolutely nothing to gain by being sympathetic towards women’s liberation, yet they keep running headfirst in the wall.

Celebrity Pseudo-Alphas

The sole exception to this voluntary celibacy is if the white knight is incidentally a celebrity. Well, sort of. Women love to champion Kurt Cobain as a male feminist, but before he struck gold, he was a loser who dropped out of high school to work as a janitor at that same school. He was talented, but he was never cool. He was pretentious and bitchy.

Kurt Cobain was such a big supporter of feminism, LGBT, and racial equality because he himself felt like he had no power over his life. Yet all of his misery was derived from his own choices. He quit school to clean toilets. He treated his wedding like a joke and then wondered why his marriage didn’t make him happy. Everything was a joke to him because he didn’t know how to live.

He had enough money to quit music and retire in a cabin tucked away in the woods or any number of things to make himself satisfied, but instead he decided to commit suicide. His stole from his daughter the ability to know her father. Finally, he insulted the girl by writing “I love you” and that his death would be in her best interest on the suicide note.

Cobain’s white knighting did not do him any good at all. He died alone and miserable despite having many people in his life who cared about him. I’ve never understood why feminists hold him so high as an example of what a man should be.

Love Thyself, And Do As Thou Wilt

“Why does she like jerks when I’m such a nice guy who listens to her and is always accommodating?” You’ve already answered your own question. If girls like jerks, then be one. If women didn’t respond so well to being abused, negged, and subjugated, then feminists wouldn’t have anything to complain about. 

If girls view you the same as their gay friends, then you’re doing something wrong. She doesn’t want a sensitive romantic to eat cookie dough with, nor does she believe that such a thing as a nice guy even exists. Destroy your woman’s sense of independence by making her addicted to you, and then let someone else lose sleep answering the question of morality.

One time I sent Petunia a joke text, “Hey I’m breaking up with you,” and then a few seconds later, “Just kidding.” She responded, “Don’t do that! I can’t handle the anxiety!” She was absolutely correct, and I’ve laughed about it to this day.

Read More: But You’re A Good Girl