If you’re going to be a player, then you’re going to hurt some feelings—that’s just the cost of doing business. I’ve seen it said around these parts that you have to “leave them better than how you found them.” Perhaps the men who say this are better with women than I am, or perhaps I’m just a dick. Regardless, I always seem to make the majority of women I’m involved with break down crying when it comes time to release their asses back into the wild.
Several months ago I wrote an article about finding a quality Filipina girl online. In that article, I spoke of a particular Filipina that I had developed a relationship with. In the time since that article was published, our relationship has pressed forward while I’ve been back in the states and, in spite of the distance, things continued to go really well for us. However, I recently made the decision to end things with her—a decision she understandably didn’t take very well. It also didn’t help matters that I was planning to visit her again very soon.
The breakup wasn’t her fault and she didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, she’s a very good woman. She was in love with me and wanted nothing more than to be my girl. Unfortunately, for her, I never had any intentions of marrying her or bringing her to America. I was wasting her time and it began to eat away at my conscience. I was being selfish and I knew I had to do the right thing—prolonging the inevitable wasn’t doing either of us any favors.
If I had the ability to live overseas or if she lived here, then perhaps things would be different. But those options aren’t on the table and I’m not one to sit around wishing upon a star for things to be different than how they really are. Her heart wasn’t the first one I’ve broken, and I doubt it will be the last.
The reasons women lose their shit and start crying over a break-up can be broken down into three primary categories: she doesn’t think she can do better than you, she didn’t get—what in her mind amounts to—adequate compensation for fucking you, or the events surrounding your break-up have caused her embarrassment and made her look like a bad person. Let’s examine these three reasons in greater detail, starting with the Filipina’s present condition.
She Doesn’t Think She Can Do Better
A woman’s inability to do better than you can be multi-faceted. Perhaps you fucked her like she’s never been fucked before, or you took her on an emotional roller-coaster ride that fed her cravings for drama. Maybe you have a better body than any of the other guys she’s been with, or perhaps you make a boat-load of money.
Women will prioritize things differently according to their personalities, and there are many more attributes you can have beyond the short list above to make them crazy about you. Some care about a lot of shit and have huge checklists, some only care about one or two things. However, the more “bonus boxes” you check off—the more difficult it becomes for a woman to let you go.
That’s where this Filipina girl stands right now. The fact of the matter is she’s devastated because she knows it will be close to impossible to replace me. She lives in an obscure part of the Philippines and most western men have little or no desire to travel there. Her mind is saying, “How the fuck am I supposed to find a suitable replacement for this man, what am I going to do now?” It’s not saying, “I really loved this man—I’m going to miss him.”
She’s mourning much in the same way I would if I had a winning lottery ticket catch on fire—not in the same way I would if my father passed away, for example.The lifestyle and security I potentially offered her far surpasses anything a local guy could ever provide. She realizes that I was pretty much a once in a lifetime opportunity, and now I’m gone.
Whoever she ends up with will pretty much offer shit in comparison, and this both terrifies and crushes her. If there were ten guys of equal or greater value lining up to replace me, then she wouldn’t be nearly as upset about my sudden departure. And keep in mind, I’m talking about a “good girl” here.
Perceived Inadequate Recompense For Pussy Apportioned
I carried on a fuck-buddy arrangement for about two months with a young lady (slut) that was fresh out of college. She was a bit of a travel bug and had studied abroad while in school. So, given my occupation, she assumed that we would be doing quite a bit of traveling together. I never led her to believe that we were going to be taking any trips —she just assumed we would. Whenever she would bring up the subject of traveling (which was frequently), I would just say, “We’ll see.”
Truth be told, one of the last things I want to do with my time off is hang out at major international airports and sit in airplanes for hours on end—especially with some some fucking dingbat that I really don’t like being around all that much. If I am going to travel—I’m going alone and I’m going where I want to go. And most importantly, I’m going to meet foreign women that I truly want to spend my time with. I will never take some domestic skank on a vacation—ain’t fucking happening.
So eventually this woman wore out her welcome and I ended our little arrangement. She was really upset and crying because she thought “we had a really strong connection.” Well, reality and what she thought weren’t quite aligned with one another—it was over.
Now, gentlemen, what was the real reason she was upset? Was it because we had a “really strong connection,” or was it because I fucked her a few times and she didn’t get a trip to Europe out of the deal? The only “really strong connection” this strumpet felt was to my travel benefits, and she never got what she mistakenly thought she had coming.
That’s what it boils down to: a woman feeling short-changed because she slept with you, but didn’t manage to accomplish the mission she set with her pussy. Pussies are goal oriented. Women set quotas with their pussies and when they fail to meet those quotas—they get upset about it.
Much like a casino—the pussy house always wins. Pussies aren’t supposed to operate at a loss and, to be honest, they very rarely do. But when it does happen, women will start crying a river in the hopes that they can rope you back in so they can get what they deem is fair compensation for allowing you to fuck them.
As a man playing the field, this is exactly what you want—it means you beat the game. If you get what you want while throwing a wrench into the spokes of her pussy’s plans, then pat yourself on the back for a job well-done. Dicks very rarely break even, and even more infrequently post a profit. If you can manage to step it up a bit and get a woman to pay her fair share, buy you presents, or do favors for you—then she’s really going to fucking lose it.
She Looks Like The Bad Guy
Women despise feeling humiliated or looking bad, and they especially hate it when they get busted for their piss-poor behavior. Have any of you guys met a slut before? I know, you’re probably saying, “What a stupid fucking question, AV8R—of course I have, just about every woman I come in contact with is a slut.” Good, then we’re on the same page—it’s no different for me. But have you met any women that have actually vocalized and admitted that they’re sluts? Maybe a handful, right?
Sluts are everywhere—they’re the majority of what’s out there, but very few women actually think they’re sluts. A drug dealing biker’s syphilitic semen could be dripping down some cheating housewife’s inner thigh, but that wouldn’t stop her from claiming to the bitter end that she’s a loyal woman and a great mother. Women love being shitty people, but they hate it when there’s an audience.
Women will deny deny deny anything and everything that has the potential to show them in a bad light. But if you happen to back them into a corner and call them out on their bad behavior—especially in the face of incontrovertible evidence—then they will do what all girls do: lose their shit and start bawling like a 300-pound feminist getting kicked out of Buffalo Wild Wings.
These women are releasing “tears of uncertainty.” You’re leaving, her life is about to change, and she doesn’t know how things are going to pan out—her future is heading down the path of the unknown. A women cares about her security first and foremost, and now that her security is about to walk out the front door, she’s going to pull out all the stops in an attempt to re-capture you and put you back in your cage.
In short: you’re still useful. She needs to keep you close until her parasitic ass can find a new host to latch onto. And once that happens, she’ll leave and it will be like she never even knew you. There will be no tears from her at that point—it will be all business, and you will be left wondering what the fuck just happened.
If you catch your woman lying, cheating, or conspiring against you in some way—then you need to be prepared for the waterworks as she attempts to appeal to your good nature. This also applies if she pulls the typical female bullshit move of trying to make everything out to be your fault (with tears, of course). It’s nothing more than manipulation.
She’s not crying because she feels bad for hurting you or because she’s truly apologetic for her actions. She’s crying because she got fucking caught and now she’s scared—never forget that. If a woman truly appreciates you, then she won’t lie to you, disrespect you, or develop annoying little habits like fucking men that aren’t you in the first place.
Never allow yourself to get roped in by empty apologies, promises of change, and self-interested tears. If you’ve been disrespected by a woman, then you move on immediately. Tell her to pack up her tears along with the rest of her crap and hit the fucking road. Women that exhibit this kind of behavior do not deserve you or anything you have to offer. They deserve exactly what they are themselves—shit.
Dealing with shit-women is the job for a human shovel, and I don’t know about you guys, but I’m not looking for a fucking job. Second chances are for masochists, suckers, and weaklings. If you give a woman another chance after she screwed you over or blatantly disrespected you, then you’re a no-dignity having motherfucker and you deserve whatever you get. And I promise you, what you get won’t be pretty. At this stage, it will be all your fault—you will suffer.
All women—even the best women—care about what you can do for them more than they care about you as a person. Every tear a woman has shed over a man can be traced back to how she was personally affected by the loss of that man’s utility—the man himself is a distant second at best. The secret to keeping a woman is to be the best she’s ever had while simultaneously convincing her—through both your highly desirable attributes and the lingering, yet subtle, threat of your immediate egress should she fuck up—that you’re the best she will ever get.
The optimum way to really stack the deck in your favor is to only marry, or seriously commit to, a virgin. If you make the decision to settle down with a woman who has a couple of men in her past, then it’s imperative to realize that you must be superior to those men in every way. You need to earn more money than them, fuck better than them, be funnier than them, more talented than them—all of it. A woman will feel like she’s settling if what you bring to the table doesn’t trigger emotions that can overshadow the memories those other guys created, and that’s the last thing you want. If a woman feels like she’s settling, then she’s going to resent you and make your life a living hell.
The girl in the Philippines wasn’t a virgin, and that’s specifically why I chose her. I had no intentions of settling down, and taking a girl’s virginity under false pretenses is a bit further than I’m willing to go—I am an asshole, but I’m not that big of an asshole. She had one long-term relationship that lasted several years before I came along, but I categorically demolished the other man she was with in every conceivable way—that’s why she fell hard for me. I checked all of the appropriate boxes, and then several of the bonus boxes as well.
This woman was an unfortunate casualty. I went on a mission to find a good girl, while masking the fact that I wasn’t prepared to be a good man myself. I needed to see if I was even capable of feeling anything for a woman again—I honestly had reached the point where I didn’t know anymore. This woman was merely a science experiment: someone to be used for my own self-centered research.
The conclusion of my experiment is that I am capable of having strong feelings for someone, and I can say this was one of the only instances in my life where I’ve felt truly sorry for hurting a woman and making her cry—she didn’t deserve what she got. However, at the same time, I’m under no delusions that her love for me was anything more than opportunistic and vampirical.
She’s a woman, no different from the rest at her core. Her feminine disposition, proper upbringing, and good morals were what earned my adoration. Like most men, I was starved of those things and, when exposed to them, it had a strong impact on me. But in the end, I had to cut her loose.
A man has a serious decision to make when it comes to committed relationships. You basically have to accept the fact that you’re being used—you’re never going to get more out it than you put into it. The duration of any relationship is contingent upon your continued usefulness above all else —you can only get better, you’re not allowed to slip and devolve.
If you have a good woman, then she’ll stay by your side for a while if things turn south, but you’re on borrowed time nonetheless. The difference between a good woman and a hardcore opportunist is that the good woman will give you a grace period to get your shit together if you start to falter. Most importantly, a good woman is more likely to stay loyal so long as you manage to keep the ship sailing straight and provide her with a decent life.
All of this leaves a question that only you can answer for yourself: is this shit worth it? Regardless of your answer, this simple fact remains: the pussy house always wins in the end. It’s up for you to decide whether or not you can live with that.
Read More: Why You Should Care Less