Aloofness, amused mastery, being cool, and being interesting are all tenets of game. They all derive from confidence. Connery-era James Bond is a perfect example of amused mastery. Henchmen are always trying to kill him and women are always trying to sleep with him. Bond toys with his adversaries and his women because he is confident. His training and experience allow him to scoff at some goon trying to kill him while his experience with women allows him to effortlessly attract them. All the while Mr. Bond has the mission as his #1 priority.

A real life example would be an elite athlete. You’ll see them on game day, fight night or at a meet effortlessly defeat their opponents. What you don’t see is the hours of effort they put into training before the event. You don’t see a regimented diet, practice, drills, strategy sessions, etc.


Having these traits will do wonders for your ability to meet and have sex with beautiful women, but no matter the amount of active work you do  it will never make up for the passive actions which will ensure your success. In no order here are three habits you need to adapt to give you the confidence to talk with women. They all take the guesswork out so you can be smooth as butter.

1. Be mindful and observant of your surroundings.

If you’ve been out at a bar I’m sure you’ve noticed “that” guy at one point or another. If you haven’t you’re probably him. He stumbles in with a bunch of other dudes, is loud, bumps into people and is the bad kind of asshole. The game equivalent of this is the dancing monkey haphazardly approaching every woman in sight. He’ll get laid, but precision is more efficient.

Next time you walk into a bar walk in slowly and look around the place scanning for girls giving you eye contact, girls standing by themselves, and what the bar setup is like. While you’re doing this try to guess what mental state everyone is in. Does the girl standing by herself look like shes open and enjoying herself or is she sitting hunched over her iPhone?

Same thing goes during the day time. Early one Saturday I saw a very hot girl sitting with her sunglasses on and earbuds in. I approached her asking when the bus came. She responded quickly and nicely but also briefly. Upon further inspection she was wearing a tight black dress, short heels, her hair was in a wet bun. She’d probably had a one night stand with some guy and was on her way home – this interaction would be tough and probably fruitless.

Next time you see a girl in the day try to think what her current state of mind is. Is she hurrying or walking with a relaxed curiosity. Is she focused on her phone or is she alert and looking around. While sitting in a coffee shop does she keep checking her phone and looking at the entrance or is she sitting with a half drunk cappuccino enjoying a book?

drinking coffee

If you practice this you will be able to single out the best opportunities for a conversation and will make your game better and more streamlined. Being able to sniff out which girls are open to conversation will naturally lead yourself to be more confident around her. You already have an idea of where her head is at so you can just relax and do your thing.


2. Have your logistics in place before you even approach

Have you ever started talking to a girl and in the middle of the interaction realized you had no idea where to take things when it came for you to part ways? You’ll think “should I take her on a date now, or later? Where/when am I going to take her on a date?” If you have then my advice to you is to have a plan before you even talk to any girls.

If you’re going to a certain part of town during the day, scout out some good places for an instadate such as a bar, coffee shop or interesting store. At night do the same thing, know the layout of the area. Know where you can get food, transportation and other bars you can bounce her to. If you’re taking her phone number then have a place or activity and a date in mind before you even talk to her. Instead of saying “Lets grab a drink sometime” say “Lets grab a drink Wednesday evening” and get her digits.

Your place or hers? Know how to get everywhere easily. This has been beaten to death, but have your place in optimum condition: clean, organized, plan out things you’ll show her, have ingredients for a drink, music, condoms, etc.


If you get all of your logistics in then it eliminates any uncertainties. You know what is going to happen when and this will allow you to show how cool and interesting you are with an aloof demeanor.

3. Know what kind of girl you want and what kind of girl you attract.

Stop right now and think about the last time you saw a girl who gave you an instant boner. Think about the best girlfriend you’ve had, think about the best lay you’ve had. Write down all of these traits from the physical to the mental and behavioral  Be as detailed as you can be; paint the picture of your perfect 10.

Now think about the last time a girl has repulsed you so much you couldn’t get a boner for days and had to sit in the fetal position crying for hours the first time you saw her. Do the same exercise as before. Write down everything and paint the complete picture of the ugliest and most annoying woman you could ever meet.


After you’ve done this think about what type of girls you attract with ease and which ones you actively repulse. Think about where you usually find these girls, then think about points 1 and 2.

This may seem like a stupid exercise, but when you see a girl with traits you like you’ll know exactly why you like her. This will give you motivation to approach her and once you do you’ll be in a qualifying frame asking her whether her other traits match up with your ideal.

These passive game tips all boil down to organization and observation. They are all habits which remove any guesswork and make your life easier. If your life is easier you’ll bed women easier. If you’re confident in your logistics, mate choice, and target selection you’ll be confident and aloof when you end up approaching.

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