Why You Need More Female Friends

There is a trope within the game community that female friends are a worthless pain in the ass to put up with. A lot of guys in game will remember painful “Let’s Just Be Friends” rejections of their early days, leaving them unwilling to touch platonic female friendships with a stick. They see no value in women they aren’t sleeping with or making money from, robbing them off the opportunities that having a wide variety of female friends brings you.

However, any guy with just average social skills will build a variety of platonic female friends from work, college, school or from across the hall, and this pool of female friends only expands as they start learning game and going out heavily, especially in a closed environment like a school or college campus, which is also the time where having female friends is of most use to men.

If you’re a “cool,” fun, social, and non-judgemental guy you can benefit massively from female friendships. Instead of completely shunning girls they aren’t sleeping with at the moment or in the near future, men need to put these social connections to proper use and know how to do it. The benefits may seem insignificant at first, but in the long term the perks and advantages of having attractive close female friends accumulates to the point of being invaluable.

Sidenote: If you happened to be “friendzoned” by a girl you’re emotionally invested in, cut off contact with her and go approach more girls. This post focuses on why you should harness the platonic female friendships you will acquire over time just from being a social person who regularly meets a lot of different girls via game or through social circles. Return of Kings does not advise you to purposely become friends with a girl instead of sleeping with her, but rather consciously make the best of female friendships you will naturally acquire because you’re just not going to be able to bang every single girl you get to know.

The Advantages of Platonic Female Friendships

Men in the game community have spouted a couple different metrics to judge whether a female friend is worthwhile having or not, typically along the lines of “Is she getting me more sex?” and “Is she getting me more money?” The correct mindset is actually “Is this girl increasing my pool of social opportunities?” Does she introduce you to new people? Does she invite you to nights out, parties and other events? If you think hard about it, I can almost guarantee you that no matter who you are, you have gotten laid from, made money from or advanced your career from an introduction or social connection made by a male friend. Now stop and think about the fact that young, good looking girls naturally have a much larger network of social connections.

Attractive young women have far more connections than their male counterparts and almost certainly have a lot more fun. Female friends have gotten me invites to parties, gigs, art exhibitions and tickets to sports games. They’ve referred me for a job interview, given me free alcohol and weed, gotten me sold out concert tickets, helped me get an ID when I was underage, and above all else: introduced me to other hot girls.

It is also much easier to become a +1 to parties if a girl is asking to bring you rather than guy, because people just don’t say “no” to girls as often as they do to guys, which allows you to use hot girls as an intermediary to getting something you want off a guy. Getting a female friend to ask a favour from somebody else on your behalf has a much much higher return on investment than if you were to ask yourself . The chumps who get played by this probably think that by helping you out for her they increase their odds of sleeping with her by winning their approval.

Gaining Insights Into the Female Psyche

I don’t think it even needs to be said that you should NEVER ask female friends for dating advice, but having hot female friends also improves your game, because once they know that you’re cool they’ll share with you a never ending stream of “Compliment & Cuddle“ through the sheer volume of corny, chode as hell Facebook and text messages they get from guys, and believe me they get a lot of them. The reason young women are glued to their iPhone’s 24/7 is because of the massive stream of desperate betas feeding them attention.

All of the cringeworthy messages and stories female friends will tell you will improve your game as you listen to the girl trash talking betas, especially when she reads his messages aloud to all her friends. After seeing it happen so much, I’m literally incapable of being “cute” or using a smiley face or exclamation mark in any of my messages to people because they’ve been so heavily associated in my mind with pathetic behaviour.

Having a variety of female friends around who trust you enough to be honest with you provides invaluable insight into gender relations. Thanks to this I’ve come to realize that hot girls see beta males in exactly the same way that men see fat chicks, something repulsive to be put up with only out of politeness or necessity, the only difference is that girls will keep their version of fatties around to provide a constant stream of ego validating attention.

Having close female friendships has actually allowed me to sympathise with their sexual plights much more than I expected to. Using one example, I’ve come to understand that meeting so many guys wh0 they thought were alpha and were attracted to at first and then started behaving like betas soon after is the equivalent of a guy meeting a hot girl and then being told after a little while that she’s a post-op transexual, which is a source of incredible sexual frustrating for women.

This is but one of many small insights I’ve gleaned from my friendships with girls that have given me a better understanding of how women think, which allows me to fine-tune my game.

Set the Right Frame Early On

There is a knee jerk reaction a lot of guys have to the suggestion of trying to expand their circle of female friends. In their minds platonic friendships = LJBF rejections = the quiet desperation of a beta orbiter. Don’t do what the orbiters do. Have some backbone. Don’t be afraid to say no. Tease them. Don’t feed them attention, in fact keep communication sparse in between when you see them in person. The other key step to make it clear that you’re just another chump orbiter is to mention in passing the latest news about who you’ve gotten with or being seeing lately, but don’t frame it as if you’re trying to impress them or ask their for advice about it. The vast majority of their male friends never do this, so it sets you apart.

Reaping The Rewards

Once they think you’re cool with it, they will start to tell you about all the slutty things they’ve done lately. Be supportive and encouraging about it, don’t be a buzz kill and don’t judge them, at least not openly. I would go as far to suggesting being an enabler for their promiscuity. Once they know you won’t judge them and are completely cool with it, they’ll be surprisingly open about their sexual exploits, sometimes to the point of bragging about it or even telling you things they haven’t told their close female friends.

They will never share any of this with their beta orbiters because they know they would get jealous and butthurt if they found out about it. It is a very good sign when a girl is telling you about the cock in her life and is asking you who you’ve gotten with or been seeing lately.

Once you’ve reached that point, this is when you can expect to reap rewards in terms of using girls to get beta males to do their bidding for your benefit, being introduced to and talked up to other hot girls, being told in advance which of the girls she’s about to introduce to you are sluts or all of a sudden finding yourself showered in attention from her and invited out to hang out one on one. In terms of introductions and getting invites to parties, this is where having close female friends at other schools or colleges is extremely useful for young guys because it provides multiple parallel social structures and party scenes, not to mention fresh girls for you to game.

As your game improves with time, you will find yourself building a larger pool of female friends, doubly so if you are in school or college, so take care to avoid orbiter behaviour so you can enjoy the benefits that having a lot of female friends will bring you. Although the perks may seem trivial over a short period of time, over the long term the benefits of having chick friends really do start to add up.

Follow @returnofkings

About the Author

P Dog is a young blogger and player in training. Follow him and his adventures at Starting Young & Aiming High. His column runs every Sunday.

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Keoni Galt

This piece is MONEY.

Want to throw a huge party with plenty of hot girls in attendance? Have a few girl friends, invite them and tell them to invite whoever they want. They’ll do all the work of spreading the word and getting people excited about it for you.

That’s what my room mates and I did all through college. We’d just tell a few girls “We got a keg, we got a live band, invite who you like.”

Guaranteed rager.
Days of Broken Arrows

Great post! I’ve been saying this for years. Keep nice looking women around to bring to parties and work events. It’s the “Can’t Buy Me Love” effect, if anyone has seen that old teen movie.

Regarding this:
“I would go as far to suggesting being an enabler for their promiscuity. Once they know you won’t judge them and are completely cool with it, they’ll be surprisingly open about their sexual exploits, sometimes to the point of bragging about it or even telling you things they haven’t told their close female friends.”

I mentioned this once over at Roissy. I’ve been able to spin these types of sexual female frienships into sex — but not the vanilla kind, the weird kind. When these women tell you story after story about their sex life, something will often come up that they’re afraid to do or that they’re having a problem with. That’s when you offer to gently fit them with the anal plug that will let them ease into their anal sex fantasies. Or you “try out” the S&M gear on her, so she won’t wet herself the first time a guy really uses it on her. I can go deeper into this, but I’m afraid I’ll get banned for speaking about how to teach a woman to do sex acts banned in American porn…
http://thecaptainpower.blogspot.com thecaptainpower

I always found the most girls at rock shows. I went to see the cranberries last year in NYC, and it was me with 45 other chicks and hardly any dudes…

Nice post…
- Wilson
  
  Those were probably lesbians, though…
  - Mark Minter
    
    I got a joke.
    
    An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a Drink.As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him.
    
    She turned to the cowboy and asked, “Are you a real cowboy?”
    
    He replied, “Well, I’ve spent my whole life, breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves,bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.”
    
    She said, “I’m a lesbian. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower,I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women.”
    
    The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, “Are you a real cowboy?”
    
    He replied, “I always thought I was but I just found out I’m a lesbian.”
flyingfuck

Even though the ‘rape’ meme is meant in good fun, isn’t it a little distasteful?
- Turbo the drycleaner
  
  I have always followed the wise words of mike tyson; never speak to a woman if sex isnt directly in the picture. You say that women generally have a larger social network than men but this is not always true; a woman may be able to top a low value man but a high value man will trump a woman. Plus, then you can actually be friends with them, instead of wasting precious moments of life that you will never get back listening to the meaningless details of a womans sex life. If beta males are the pawns on the chessboard of social circles, hot girls are the queens but alpha males are the kings. Make friends with alpha males instead of women.
  - Wanderlust
    
    They aren’t mutually exclusive.
  - Zal
    
    Exactly. Wish I said the above.
  - Zal
    
    Edit: I meant to say I wish i said what Turbo the drycleaner stated.
  - corvinus
    
    I agree with this, actually. Other dudes are more interesting to talk to, since they think the same way as you do and you can talk about cool nerdy stuff. Female friends who dig you will still consider you a friend even if you don’t talk to them everyday, but don’t really provide stimulating intellectual conversation for the most part.
http://knowyourmeme.com Inception

Some years ago, I lived in an apartment complex and knew the girl who lived upstairs from me. We hooked up sometimes, but always casual. But while I was indifferent about her in general, she was an amazing source for meeting new chicks. My success rate with chicks I met through this girl versus the average was remarkably higher, almost comically so. Sometimes the Upstairs Girl would flash jealousy and try to cock-block, but once the wheels were in motion and her chick friend was interested, it was game on — and in a way that wouldn’t work had it been a guy friend who knew the chicks since invariably he would be competition.

The key with female “friends” is that you not have an active interest in fucking them. Yes, you might have to listen to them whine or complain or bitch about some stupid stuff, but if she’s bringing around a new flavor of the week to sample it’s worth the aggravation.
John

This is sound advice, but there’s a big warning I have for high-value guys.

If you’re a high value guy or alpha who generally attracts a lot of female attention, your girl-friends WILL become jealous of those other girls and this can work against you. For example, your girl-friend has another friend who’s hotter than her, and that friend feels attracted to you when all of you hang out; your friend will get jealous and may try to sabotage your chances with her friend, because your friend wants you all to herself.

Also, if you’re a high-value guy, try to not be close friends with ugly fatty types; I used to think they would be a “safe” avenue to increase my social circle because I thought they would never think they have a chance with me, but by God I was wrong. I’ve learned firsthand how vindictive and jealous they can be.

Generally speaking, this was a good post about having more female friends. From my experience I’d suggest that you leverage your female friendships as an invite events/parties so you can meet other random/new girls, rather than trying to meet her direct friends.
- DAP
  
  Fat chicks are only for blow jobs, home cooked meals, and rides home when you are too drunk to drive.
  - Zal
    
    Quote: “Fat chicks are only for blow jobs, home cooked meals, and rides home when you are too drunk to drive.”
    
    Not even. Like was stated even they too get jealous, when in fact any fat chick should know here true value on the social sexual marketplace is null — but given todays attitudes one sees these 400 lb gastropods think they deserve the same status as a swimsuit model.
Adam Dal Bello

I’m sorry, but how the fuck can you even debase yourself like that by having a friend who is a girl? Have you no respect for the sanctity of your masculinity? I don’t believe this post for a second. Where’s Roosh? Fuck bitches, acquire currency.
- monster221
  
  you sir are obviously an ameteur.
  - My Name is Adam
    
    You’re clearly gay if you have a girl as a friend.
DAP

There are certain venues you can’t even get into unless you have a female entourage with you.
Bottom Line: Top Shelf Pussy opens doors and attracts more Top Shelf Pussy.
http://yousowould.wordpress.com YouSoWould

This is all well and good, but I’d rather lobotomise myself than tolerate the inane, irrational drivel that 95% of women seem to believe constitutes intelligent conversation. The occasional girl who I do find who is genuinely funny, capable of actually challenging me on a mental level, or even at the very least able to provide sufficiently witty banter to keep me from falling asleep, is by definition an outlier and unlikely to have hot, single friends I can hit on.

I’m a man, and I prefer the company of men for camaraderie and companionship.
- Adam Dal Bello
  
  Hear, hear!
- Zal
  
  Thirded. here here, here.
  
  The only exception is when I have a chick who definitely wants me romantically, but I do not want here. She becomes my beta orbiter in same the sense that a hot chick has a bunch of beta men with no dignity or self esteem to walk away from the situation. But then again my interaction with them is only when I need something. Its sweet when the tables get turned.
- Red Pill
  
  Isn’t it bad enough to have to listen to the shit from chicks you are having sex with? No, the price for pre-screening is too high. It’s just too much hen clucking…
  
  By the way, are the articles the last few days taking a bit of a dip in quality?
Quintus Curtius

Very good article, but not one for beginners. Only the saltiest sea-dogs, with the benefits of time’s perspective, can see the value in female friends. Too many guys, myself among them at one point, saw the friend zone as a total wasteland. And it can be, certainly. Added to this is the fact that friend-zone shaming has been going on in the game community for a long time, resulting in a lot of prejudice against it.
But if you have the discipline to apply a few ground rules, it can work for you in a limited way. First, as P-Dog says, you need to view her as a potential way to increase your level social interactions. Second (and this is the hardest) you must mentally write her off as a possible notch. Once you accept the fact that you’re not going to bang, the you can use it for what it is. The problem is that unseasoned warriors cannot disconnect their egos from the equation…they get pissed off at the girl and lose out on a possible source of interactions or “referrals”.
But be careful, though. Remember that chick friends are an opportunity for them to add value to YOU. If they’re not doing that, scale back the interaction. If she is not increasing your level of social interactions, then you may have to cut your losses.
- monster221
  
  also you have to be the one who writes off the bang. accepting that you arent going to bang AFTER trying and failing turns you into an orbiter.
  
  YOU have to be the one FIRST who refuses to fuck. otherwise its a no go.
  - J.M.
    
    You are right. Actually I am in a similar situation. I know this girl, she is slutty (I know it not from her), great ass, fine tits, delicious lips, slender body built, however she is more useful because her array of contacts (not just for friendship but for business) is incredible and many chumps in my business line would almost do anything for her in the hopes of getting into her pants.
    
    For me is more convenient to kill the idea of a bang and don´t even try to and behave as I’ve been doing so far: treating her somewhat rude and somewhat nice (nice as in helping her with mutual projects and not being a complete asshole) but not listening anything from her that is personal, withdrawing attention and stopping her when she tries to complain to me about something else (being sarcastic etc).
    
    It helps I am busy with other girls and other projects though
2mques

Yeh this could go either way.

The deeper you get in the game, the harder it is to deal with women who waste your time with trivialities.
Peter

i can only do this if the chick has a bf or i don’t want her sexually. what about you?

if i know she is single and hot i will try and bang her – glory or nothing – that is why i don’t have many female friends.
http://www.aroundtheworldin80girls.com Neil skywalker

I will make a girl my friend if I don’t succeed to pick her up but do see opportunities to use her for pre-selection.
It’s always good to be seen with a good looking girl at your side. This builds value with girls as well as with guys.
This works extra well if you live in a smaller city where you might run into the same people on a night out.
Fatty McManjaw

Choose your female friends wisely, as you do your male friends.

Well-filtered female platonic friends are like gold. My best friend is female, and she’s the one that turned me on to the Manosphere. She gives me a different perspective socially, professionally, and with dating. Not your typical vapid female, she has a 140 IQ and can discuss the relative merits of Chevy vs Ford vs Chrysler small blocks or the underlying themes of Les Miserable – sometimes simultaneously. We have a great time whenever we’re together, but neither of us are sexually attracted to the other… hence, no tension there.

As Emil Faber said, “Knowledge is Good”. I’ve learned a hell of a lot from her that’s improved my life immeasurably. Don’t discard someone just because they happen to be female… but filter wisely or suffer the drama consequences.
monster221

this post is gold. boys dont forget your vitamins or to read this fucking post.

a few things i might add. she must be fucking FINE. this takes some discipline and a little not give a fuck that only comes with experience. most guys go for the fine ones, and to put one in the no pile and keep her around is difficult especially for the younger dudes.

second, you must decide you wont go for the bang from the get go. either that or you already banged her and she keeps coming around you and not the other way around. if its not either of those, congrats friend, you’re an orbiter.

and one thing i think everybody missed. you must take EVERY opportunity she gives you. if you need free booze and she says “im going to so and sos house to drink a little” you must go. if she introduces you to her friend you MUST see the friend on a one on one at least and preferrably bang. if she keeps bringing you opportunities and you dont make anything of them eventually she will start to think you are in love with her and are really really good at pretending. the more she does for you the more she will value your friendship. and of course the more you will too.
http://dannyfrom504.wordpress.com dannyfrom504

word the fuck up. i used to be the defacto BF of 2 models back in NO. they just wanted to go into the city and dance, i ran interference when dudes tried to step to them. what i got in return was- GIRLS COMING ON TO ME.

seriously, bith my friends were hard 9′s. enven NOW, by best friend is a hard 8 asian. she wings for me like a champ. i don’t have many female friends but i DO KEEP a couple in my back pocket. the services i offer in return is interpretations of male behavior for them. win-win.

hell i even posted the same damn dos equis pic on my site regarding this. lol.

i’ll have to dig through my site to find the post and my laptops battery is low. but i WILL link said post.

good advice as per usual ROK
http://Dannyfrom504.wordpress.com Dannyfrom504

Found it, but it’s not the 2 models as friends post.

http://dannyfrom504.wordpress.com/2013/01/24/on-being-the-boss-and-hypergamy/
Dillon

The world is AQUAINTENCE. You NEVER make female “friends”.

Also why would I want to hear about a girls sexual frustrations? Are we going to watch the lifetime channel and have a good cry afterwords?
thank you

Your posts always make me want to call to my dad, to remind me of what kind of man a want to be with. My dad and I have a lot closer bond now, when I have realised what some men are really like.
He still looks to my mother with adoring look in his eyes , after 30 years of marriage.
He has never been aggressive towards her and never has felt the need to try to strip her her worth as a female. I do appreciate him tons because the basic goodness that is in him.

He is one of the rare males that I truly respect. (comments like yours have costed some men their share, and some I’ve even refused to talk to due the over eagerness and lack of basic manners)

Another thing that talking about (and laughing at) you misogynists has done is brought myself and my girlfriends a lot closer together. I’ve also gained dozens of new pretty girlfriends, when I’ve realised that they’re not actually bitches but normal and friendly girls who only seek happiness like the rest of us. They’re not a threat to me any longer (if they ever have been).
I don’t think it would never have happened without you and your generous descriptions of different tricks and mind controlling games you are trying to use.
So, thank you. :)
Is there any way I can contribute your educational blog ?
- 2nd
  
  My thoughts exactly! How can I ever repay you ?
  (I’m sure you get this a lot but.. I’m not gonna have sex with you. Think of something else. )
Anonymous

In addition, having female friends increases your alpha score, women see you talking to hot girls you don’t seem to be interested in, you look as if you have options and are good with game.
- +
  
  Also, it helps your female friends to make jealous the guy they’re ACTUALLY interested in.
http://recklessyetrefined.wordpress.com Trev427

Some of you guys are seriously overcompensating.

The author is not saying that you should fucking become some beta bitch and listen to her cry over a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, but good-looking female friends are incredible assets after you filter out the riff-raff and FIND A GOOD ONE.

Women TRUST other women. Having a female friend wing for you is exponentially more effective than having a buddy do so because when a woman approaches another woman singing your praise, they’re more receptive, less threatened, and more likely to want more. If you can’t wrap your head around that, then I’m not sure what to say to you.

Being having beautiful women go to bat for you increases your value in the eyes of other women. FACT. Being surrounded by beautiful women at a bar or club increases your value in the eyes of other women, especially if they see a friendly dynamic, because it makes them ask, “What’s this guy got going on that all these other girls are some comfortable around him?” It makes you less threatening, which in turn makes them vulnerable, and leaves you an easy kill.

Seriously, why on earth would you intentionally throw away an outstanding strategy because you can’t be bothered to put in some time and develop your social assets? That’s just laziness masquerading as alpha-male bullshit. Being an alpha is like being strong or powerful; if you have to tell us you are, then you aren’t.
http://dannyfrom504.wordpress.com dannyfrom504

i can’t find the post. but……

i was the pseudo BF for 2 models in new orleans when i was stationed here (1999-2002). i learned a TON from them. they wanted to go out and dance, but didn’t want to get hit on-

that’s where i came in. i sat back nursing a beer and when a guy tried to move in on them (they’re sisters) one would look my way and i’d walk over and the 2 of them would grind all over me. trini (the hottest/oldest one) would flip her hair and whisper to me BUT it looked like she was kissing me.

eventually i’d leave and go sit at the bar and that’s ‘where the fun would start. girls would APPROACH ME. lol. every time i went out with deb and trini i ALWAYS number and/or kiss closed.

and these 2 would wing like champs, especially trini. if i were talking to a girl, she’d pony up- throw her arms around me and proclaim how i was ignoring her. then tell girl i was chatting up, “stay away, he’s a heartbreaker. now come dance with me Danny.” lol. fucking pro.

a hot woman is the best wing ever. my girl so-so is a good friend, she’s asian and has mad girl game. she wings like a champ.

stay-up.
Adam Dal Bello

Gay Gay Gay Gay. This post makes me nautious.
- chase b
  
  Nautious? Is that when you get sick on a boat?
http://dannyfrom504.wordpress.com dannyfrom504

if some of the posters here are actually “male”, they need to schedule a pap. srslee.
http://www.progressivemale.com Pete

EXCELLENT reading! Must read for guys.
Shawn

Women are for fucking not friendship. Female relatives are your women friends.
- ronin
  
  well said mate
Chase

Schoolboy level advice..
TheRookie

Great article. I have female co-workers and friends, but really they are more like acquaintances. They are good for:

1. potlucks or dinner parties where delicious food can be had
2. getting into exclusive venues where you need to be with a couple fine ladies to get in
3. setting me up with their friends
4. being seen with a good looking chick
Raj

Pdog, I’m gonna register on Rooshvforum next month but I have to ask one question.
One thing that bothers me is, Do you tell girls that you’ve been with several girls? I remember Roosh once wrote that If a girl asks you if you’ve ever been in love before, you say no so that she desires to be your first. In the “Being Popular In School Is Overrated” post you say that your the fact that you’re a player should be exposed so that girls already view you as an Alpha. Suppose you tell one of your female buddies that you’ve been several girls and like we know it, she will spread the word like the virus in Resident Evil. Will this benefit you or not? Now the bottom line question is, Does the fact that you are a player swinging around in the social circle benefit you or it just makes the girls hesitant to throw pussy at you?