The following article has been sponsored by The Search For Ten
I have spent the last 8 years of my life working on and perfecting the art of meeting women online. I’ve felt the highs, the lows, and have basked in the cesspool of humanity that is online dating.
I’m an Aussie man in my early 30’s living in Sydney and I have developed a taste for Asian women. I discovered that night game is nearly useless. Day game is great but has a really low hit rate with Asian girls, because the hot ones get approached a lot and are generally rather shy. Going online has given me an edge and access to a large number of prospects. As a result I’ve tasted all the flavours of Asia. From Vietnam to Japan, I found my Mecca and I’m sharing it with you.
1. Don’t Make The Rookie Mistake
The biggest mistake I see newbies make is that they completely miss the purpose of the profile and go in with the mindset that it’s a reflection of them. They get the personality carbon paper, rub one out, and expect the women to come running because “I’m a great guy.”
No one (especially the women you meet online) gives a shit about you. Your hopes, dreams or what makes you happy. No one. All they care about is what they can get from you and how you’ll make them feel. Your profile is an advertisement, a brochure for a product. You are writing to a target demographic and the sole purpose of the profile is to get them interested enough to invest some energy. The profile should never answer questions, only create them.
You (the person) only have value to these people once you connect. There are hundreds of other guys competing for her attention, and it is impossible to connect with someone when they’re being contacted by 30~70 guys a day. That’s the reality and that’s what you’re up against.
Your profile is just there to motivate her to reply to your email. Nothing else. Start talking to her so you can start building attraction and get her on that phone as fast as possible.This moves her away from the competition and allows you to build a connection that she invests in.
2. Make The Profile Short
Let’s assume a woman gets contacted 45 times. In order to manage such a large number of suitors she’s going to be looking for ways to bring that number down to the most manageable number she can. She has options, she’s not looking for reasons to choose you, she’s looking for reasons NOT to choose you.
There will be certain criteria in her mind—be they logical or not—that she will use to bring that number down to a number she can count on her toes. At this point you’re at the mercy of nature and circumstance. If you made it into the last 10 then she will take the time to read the profile and guess what the biggest complaint I’ve heard is?
“Ugh, I have to read all that?!”
Less is more, keep it short and to the point. Three paragraphs maximum. Too long, you’ll get culled.
3. Don’t Be Objective
She’s not reading your profile because she wants to get to know you. She’s looking for something, anything she can use to discount you. Any hard objective statement is dangerous because women can’t work with absolutes and will always be in a grey area.
They might want children but are looking for the right guy, time, or place before settling own. So if you put on your profile “I want to have a family,” you’ll get culled. She doesn’t like the idea of being pressured into such a big decision! So you put “I don’t feel the need to start a family” instead, and you still get culled. She would love to have a family, just not now and she doesn’t want to put time into a relationship if you’re not going to be the daddy.
This is just an example. Remember, the profile should never answer questions as they will only be used to cull you. She wants to get that number down to three or four. Unless you’re hot (you’re not), anything slightly objectionable will get you culled.
4. Be A “Normal” Guy
Even though dating online has become much more acceptable and mainstream, it still has a stigma attached to it—especially with girls who are trying it for the first time. If you doubt that, count how many times you see “A friend suggested I try it” or “I never know what to write about myself” and you’ll start to see it’s their way of saying “Oh, I’m not one of those losers who has to go online!”
Use this psychology and write something that says “hey, me too!” and show them that you’re not one of those losers either. We both know you totally are but it will let them be more comfortable… because they are too.
I had great success with a profile that started by saying how online profiles are really bad at working out who someone is. I quoted some statistics, made a joke about 50 Shades Of Grey and was done with it. I had girls contacting me.
5. Remember The Call To Action
If you’re serious about dating online, this one is pretty obvious. Make sure you tell them what the next steps are. Why should they waste their time? Tell them you’re the right choice and they should talk to you.
“I’m great conversation, send me a message.”
Find something that’s “you” and tell them to get in touch.
These are the most important points to get you started. Develop something that works for you and your chosen demographic. Play with it, see the response, and keep going until you find that sweet spot. Write, test, repeat.
I’m writing a book! It’ll be packed with my experiences, advice, and tested methods in navigating the cesspool, from finding your demographic, to getting the date and closing the deal. The whole time I’ll be blogging the experience as I test ideas, play around with new methods, styles, and generally screw it up for science.
Come with me on the search at The Search For Ten.