I’m under no false illusion that readers of ROK are all upstanding law abiding citizens. I’m pretty sure a lot of us either have or had habits that have landed us in some sort of hot water with the law. Those who know what I’m talking about know this kind of trouble can be both physically and mentally taxing and takes a huge toll on finances.

I’m also aware that there are some illegal activities men can’t or won’t let go of. Whether it’s an addiction, the money, a sense of identity, or just being an adrenaline junkie, there are a plethora of reasons men all over the world regularly engage in unlawful enterprises.

I used to be in that boat quote frequently and learning to navigate this jungle has manifested itself into the strongest part of my overall game: frame. Knowing I have a solid plan to preserve my most valuable commodities (time, money, faculties, and freedom) if and when things go sideways keeps my mind relaxed and at ease in any situation I find myself in.

In part 2 I stated I’d been in more than a few legal situations and have managed to come of out of most of them virtually unscathed. In this, the final installment of my Villains series, I will share the lessons of my misadventures. Keep in mind that laws and tendencies of local law enforcement varies from state to state so you’ll have to adjust your system accordingly.

Living the outlaw lifestyle ain’t all peaches and cream. Don’t get me wrong, it’s cool to strut around with a devil-may-care attitude, slay top shelf poon on the regular, wear aviator sunglasses (a personal favorite of mine), and live in a kick ass pad, but the things we need to do to maintain and preserve this quality of life is often ugly and inconvenient. But this is the price we pay.

We’re not talking about storm troopers and make believe bad guys anymore, gents. We’re now into the realm of actual safeguards so that you can live like a villain in the real world.

Get your legal house in order

Ever notice how the bad guys (real and fictional) always remain cool and collected when detained or arrested? This is because they have a solid legal plan in place which helps them maintain composure in the face of impending legal unrest. They know their predicament is temporary and that they’ll likely be home in time for dinner.

It is very difficult to maintain frame if you don’t have your legal house in order before trouble strikes. I learned this the hard way. These are the two steps I took to remedy this ailment and they’ve both proven to be very useful to myself and my closest friends.

#1 Retain a lawyer

One of the keys to slithering out of a charge is to have a good lawyer at your disposal. The ability to call and consult an attorney any time you need to is critical to maintaining your sanity and freedom. It is often the difference between guilty and not guilty outcomes, as court-appointed attorneys are usually pretty quick to advise you to plead out so they can slog through their overstuffed case loads.

Making a monthly payment to a lawyer to handle potential legal issues can get quite expensive and is only worth it if you find yourself in legal limbo on a regular basis. However, you need this to be a contingency plan, not an ongoing thing.

That said, there is much less expensive alternative to ensure you have legal counsel at all times: pay one lump sum to an attorney and have them put it in escrow until you need his services.

Outside of major felonies, $1,500 to $2,000 should be enough for a lawyer to handle most cases from start to finish. There could be additional ancillary costs but that depends on state laws, your individual circumstances, and attorney rates.

The benefits of having a lawyer on speed dial are obvious but the biggest advantage is when you are arrested. I used to work with a guy who was cop for years and he made no bones about the fact that officers will trade on your ignorance to extract information from you in order to increase their chances of securing a conviction. They take advantage of your fear and initial shock of being put in handcuffs.

Upon your first consultation, your lawyer will work with you to eliminate making missteps at the beginning of the process and school you on your rights upon detention by law enforcement. If you’re armed with that knowledge it makes their job markedly easier and greatly increases the odds of a favorable outcome. The reason cops hate when a suspect lawyers up is because they know your lawyer will advise you to exercise your legal right to remain silent, thus extinguishing their fact-finding expedition.

Do not underestimate the importance of having a lawyer at the ready at all times. Yes, you’ll have to fork over a significant amount of money but financial prudence is a part of your red pill development and trust me when I tell you this is most definitely a worth while investment.

Knowing you have legal counsel at your beck and call is essential to building a rock-solid frame.

#2 Register with a bail bondsman

Lawyers get you out of trouble, bail bondsmen get you out of jail. This is where having one you can call at a moment’s notice comes in handy. If you get pinched, a bondsman is your best friend. Getting registered with one before the shit hits the fan will prove to be an important step in preserving your freedom.

This process is much simpler than retaining a lawyer but is equally important. Simply visit a bail bonds office and submit your information. Name, address, phone number, and whatever other identifiable information they need from you.

Pro Tip #1: Memorize your bondsman’s number and keep it on a piece of paper in your glove box. Why? Because cops will confiscate your phone and you won’t see it until you’re released, rendering your lifeline useless. Asshole cops will sometimes even take your piece of paper (no accident) which makes memorizing that number all the more important.

Having a bondsman who already has your information at the ready drastically shortens the time you’re in the holding cell. The average amount of time I’ve spent in a holding cell is about 45 minutes (give or take) depending on the time of day or night. Not having to wait in line to call a bondsman on that shoddy phone after getting locked up and divulging personal information in the presence of other arrestees makes a huge difference.

There was one instance where my bondsman actually beat us to the jail. He was waiting there with the paperwork and I spent not one minute in that cell. This is the result of having my ducks in a row. When your arrest is imminent, your first call should always be to your bondsman. You can call your lawyer when you get out.

Locking one down will cost you a few hundred dollars but it’s well worth the investment. Once you register with a bonds office they will also put your money into an escrow account (again this depends on your state laws) and won’t be touched unless you’re in jail and need to be bonded out.

This is a tremendous advantage because you won’t need to make embarrassing calls to friends and family begging them to come and get you out. Everything is already paid for and taken care of so you can relax, make conversation with your fellow law breakers, and wait for the corrections officer to sing the sweet sound of your name when it’s time to get the hell out of there.

Pro Tip #2: Every single time you have to use your bondsman, tip him and tip him well. The first reason to do this is that it goes a long way in moving up his priority list which translates to quicker turnaround time and a better overall relationship with the man who gives you back your freedom.

The other reason is that coming to get your sorry ass out of jail isn’t as easy as it looks. They don’t just show up and say “I’m here for SharpShooter” and it’s off you go. It takes a lot of time, paperwork, and risk. These guys are doing a great service for you and a lot of times they have to break away from whatever they’re doing at the time at all hours of the night to get you out.

So show a little gratitude and slip him a c-note as soon as you hit the street. Like tipping the bouncers at the door or the bartender at your watering hole, this goes a long way and builds major equity. People you tip well always remember the gesture and will provide you with much better service in the future.

Now that your legal house is in order, I’ll share the two most effective preventative measures that have served me very well in many situations over the years.

Stash your cash in a safe

Here are the three biggest advantages to having a cache of cash:

1. Cash is king. It is still the one and only currency that holds the most weight. Everyone from your doctor to your lawyer to your butcher prefer (and sometimes require) to be paid in cash. Tangible money talks and having access to it opens doors quicker than a slut opens her legs.

2. Availability without fees or red tape. Banks and ATMs are notorious for nickel-and-diming you for wanting to use and spend your own money. Plus, if you want to spend or withdraw more than the daily limit the bank or ATM allows, you have to jump through hoops to get your hands on it. Banks are necessary for a lot of things but keep in mind they also have complete control of your money whether you know it or not.

3. It’s available to you and only you. No surprise charges, no worrying about identity thieves cleaning out your account(s), and no worrying about account garnishment due to back taxes or child support or any other reason to deplete your account. Safes are immune to wire transfers, phantom withdrawals, or service fees you’re unaware of. Your balance only changes when you decide it does.

For those of you who are leery of leaving your hard-earned money in the hands of lawyers, bondsmen, or banks, a safe is a great way to hang on to your liquid assets. Investments, 401Ks and the like are good ways to grow your money over time and I would strongly advise that you look into these avenues. But socking away cold hard cash for a rainy day is 24-hour banking in its truest form.

I’m not the old lady who keeps all of her money in a shoe box or in the mattress. I do have a bank account but I rarely let the balance get over triple digits because I prefer having immediate, physical access to most of my cabbage if I need it.

Driving without a license

Believe it or not, traffic violations (minor and major) have the potential to turn a man’s life upside down in the blink of an eye and this is the reason I’ve included this preventative measure in this article. Once again, I’ve experienced this first hand and I know I’m not alone. What’s more is that according to my cop friend most arrests are made during traffic stops.

The overwhelming majority of people driving around without a license are men. The inability to talk our way out of tickets, and then being punished more swiftly and severely for our traffic infractions than our female counterparts is the reason for this lopsided ratio. Some states even revoke your driving privilege if you’re behind on your child support payments, further increasing the number of men operating a vehicle illegally.

A little over 10 years ago my license was suspended for six months. Long story short, I had a number of traffic tickets I didn’t get taken care of and they came back to bite me in the ass. Luckily my lawyer was able to “gold sheet” (the process of consolidating numerous tickets into one case) my tickets so I was very lucky to get just a six month ban from driving.

Right around the time my license was suspended, police officers in my city started utilizing technology that allowed them to run license plates while both vehicles were in motion. Cops could literally drive around and run plates at their convenience without having to step foot out of their cars or call the plate number into dispatch. The information popped up on their screens and they’d act accordingly.

The loophole in this technology is that police are unable to get information on out of state plates unless they pull you over. So unless a driver was blatantly breaking traffic laws like running stop signs, stop lights, or doing 20+ mph over the speed limit, cops didn’t bother.

I still had to get around so I came up with an idea that would allow me to continue driving. What I did to stay under the radar was register my car in a neighboring state with an address I obtained by renting a UPS mailbox in that state. I went a step further and put a window cling on my back window of a local college in the state that my license was suspended to appear to be a college student from out of state.

My little trick worked like a charm and the boys in blue never gave my vehicle a second look. Sure I had to pay a little extra insurance for switching states and yes I had to pay a registration fee and taxes all over again, but it damn sure beat getting pulled over and possibly arrested (didn’t have my legal house in order back then) which would have cost more money and more time.

Obviously this isn’t a bulletproof way of never getting caught driving without a license. DUI checks and random road blocks can throw salt into your game. But as long as you don’t drive like a maniac your odds of getting pulled over are very low.

I encourage readers to add to their tried and true methods with reference to their state laws. Different perspectives yield better and broader results, and we could all use all the help we can get in our dealings with the feminized justice system designed to severely punish men for whatever reason they feel like.

I’m also not above suggestions to tweak or perfect my own techniques. Contributor or not, I learn just as much valuable information on this site as any of our readers and the truth is, we can all learn from each other.

Tying it all together

Before I was married I used to make it a point to let women know what a clean-cut, upstanding, law abiding citizen I was. I was quick to mention I had no criminal record, had never been arrested, and had perfect credit with my ever-present American Express card leading the beta bucks parade.

This never got me the quality pussy I wanted and sure as shit didn’t fulfill me as a man. I wanted more but I had no idea how to get it, so I took to acquiring the things I wanted illegally.

I’ve paid my debts to society but I learned a lot along the way. The most important of those lessons is that chicks really do dig the bad boy. These days when girls ask me if I’ve ever been arrested I tell ’em the truth without hesitation and when they ask for the details I give them the same explanation every time: “Long story.” And not one of them stormed out and ran into the arms of their Ivy-League, white-collared betas to live happily ever after.

Get this through your thick skulls fellas: Girls may marry boy scouts but they will always fuck the outlaws before, during, and after their nuptials. You can take that to the bank safe.

And don’t buy into the bullshit notion of the “anti-hero” either. This fantasy is nothing more than glorified white knighting. They give too many fucks about women and at the of the day their balls are as blue as the betas they sneer at. Selflessness gets you nowhere in today’s world. Period.

Remember, high SMV women are merely a side effect of this lifestyle. You’ll have very little time for them what with assembling your crew, strengthening your mind and body, acquiring both tangible and intangible property, locking down your legal swat team, and not giving a shit about anyone but yourself. Your morale and productivity will skyrocket and your sense of well-being will never be higher.

Deciding to live this lifestyle takes a tremendous amount of reflection, acceptance of hard truths, and the assumption of risk. Truly grabbing life by the balls and living on your own terms in this manner is something most of us are unable to do. But for those of us with the intestinal fortitude to take the plunge the rewards are innumerable. 

Be dangerous, take risks, and enjoy the ride gentlemen. Live life like a Villain.

Read More: More Ways You Can Live Life Like A Villain