A well-accepted idea in the manosphere is that the fewer men a woman has been with, the more likely she is to be a loyal partner. There are divorce statistics out there that support this theory but until you’ve actually encountered an “Alpha Widow” in the field, you may not fully understand just how damaged some women can become from just one experience with a man.
In fact, many women are devastated so thoroughly by their first “alpha” it can actually have terrible psychological effects on them. I will give a couple of in field examples from my life to illustrate a common form of psychosis women develop that I call “Angel of Death Syndrome” or “ADS” for short.
Angel of Death Syndrome
What is ADS? The basic breakdown of ADS is women attempting to play out a trauma in their lives and reverse the roles—in the original circumstance she played the victim role and her “alpha” played the role of heartbreaker, in all her future encounters with men she consciously plans to play the role of heartbreaker.
Women with ADS pride themselves in not being able to bond with men; they wear this as a badge of honor. The reason for this is two-fold:
1. By never moving past their devastating “event” they are able to perpetually play the role of victim, which is much easier than growing up and accepting life’s difficulties.
2. By not bonding with other men they are able to remain faithful (emotionally) to their original “alpha,” which is a far better narrative in their minds than accepting any man they view as less than ideal.
Women with ADS often concoct fantastical narratives in their minds that center around their victimhood. It is a form of extreme narcissism. These women truly view themselves as a beautiful angel who was wronged so severely by a man that all men must pay for the crime. I became aware of these fantasies through two real life encounters with ADS girls:
1. The out of town f buddy
I had a gig where I would travel out of town one weekend a month and met a gorgeous bartender. We had sex the first night and pretty much agreed to meet up for the next few months whenever I was in town. Things went well for a couple months after that, she even made a trip to my neck of the woods.
Although she grew more and more affectionate and sweet I kept my guard up. Finally I broke frame for an instant—I texted her first. The truth is, it was a conscious decision I made because I was growing fond of her and she seemed to be growing fond of me. She went silent on me and then the next time I was in town gave me the infamous “maybe”.
I moved on with my life. By chance we ended up running into each other a couple months later and had a brief conversation. I felt comfortable enough to ask her what flipped the switch in her brain? After all she had been so sweet and affectionate… Her response:
I am like sweet cherry wine laced with poison, I taste so good but I’m only going to hurt you. It’s just what I do, I spend time with people for awhile and then fade away as a memory
Of course I didn’t let her say something so melodramatic without making fun of her but nonetheless it was chilling to know just how unstable this woman was and that I had been dealing with a sociopath the entire time.
2. The friend
I became friends with a woman (I know, not really friends) at work due to the fact we were the only mid-20s people in the office. I had no sexual interest in her and she had none in me.
I learned she had no interest in me because I found out all her “secrets.” This girl had a unique sexual fetish—she preferred to sleep with married men. She would actively pursue married men then do her best to get them to fall in love with her and then simply stop seeing them. Her favorite thing to talk about was how she could sleep with men, never develop feelings for them, and toss them aside. She was truly proud of her behavior.
How to recognize an ADS girl
1. Look for common signs of mental illness in women
This includes tattoos, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, eating disorders, and a strong stance against family. Both the women mentioned above had these issues to various degrees.
2. She will let you know she is a victim
At some point in your relationship with an ADS girl she will speak of her “alpha.” You will notice that she views herself as having two different lives; her life with her “alpha” and her life after him. In her before life, she likely wanted marriage and family.
3. Her “Alpha” was a loser
It sounds like a stereotype, but there is a reason the stereotype came about; if she talks about having had her heart broken by a loser then you are likely dealing with an ADS girl. The bartender’s “alpha” was an unemployed pill addict who lives with his mother. The friend’s “alpha” was an aspiring rapper who works part time in fast food.
4. She is over 25
If she is single and over 25 she is most likely damaged goods.
In the current culture ADS is spreading like wildfire, so watch out for the signs in a girl. These women are suitable for short-term sex only and are dangerously unstable.
It can be tempting to try to have a relationship with one of these girls due to the male protector and provider instinct, so learn to keep that in check—you are not dealing with anything worth protecting or providing for.