Many men are finding themselves divorced or still single by the time they reach their 40s and realize that they may never marry and settle down. This has much to do with destruction of a patriarchal family unit by feminized by western society. However, many men may wish to see multiple women while simultaneously having a more “stable” relationship. So which is better—game or settling down? You may be surprised by the answer, because in some countries it is not uncommon to see men doing both.
While this article lays out the history of how men throughout the ages have had many wives and concubines, I am in no way advocating this lifestyle. However, if you look at what we call a “concubine” today, most people would just say she is a “girlfriend” or “lover.” In my opinion, those in the pick-up or seduction community can have their cake and eat it too.
In fact, any dominant masculine man can tell you that if he wanted to, he could marry his lover and still have other women on the side willing to bear his children. What is it about the psyche of a woman that allows her to tolerate her husband being a womanizer while maintaining attraction for him?
1. History of married men and their concubines
History has shown us that rich powerful men have had multiple wives and concubines. In fact, some of these men went to the extreme and married their close relatives while keeping a harem of women around to fulfill all of their sexual desires. The concubines of a ruler were considered “inferior” in relationship to his wife. However, both enjoyed certain advantages over the other that made the relationship somewhat attractive. A wife of a monarch possessed a powerful political position in society, and often the concubines enjoyed a luxurious lifestyle and influence not offered outside such a relationship.
Many times, wives were less attractive and older than concubines, which is because most marriages were strategies used to forge some political objective. These types of marriages also preserved and protected a family’s dynasty from outside entanglements. In an age when royalty would marry their cousins, what better way for a monarch to enjoy a less taboo sexual relationship than having intercourse with lots of different beautiful women who were not blood related? Like men of that era, today older guys may decide to marry someone closer to their age while at the same time continuing to date younger women.
2. Psyche of a woman who can share her man with another woman.
While I’m no expert in psychology, I can say that it is less common for a woman to have a husband while seeing multiple guys at the same time, unless she’s a porn star or a swinger. There are plenty of women who take advantage of their beta-male counterparts and will sleep around, but it’s much easier for a man to have a wife and multiple girlfriends than the other way around.
A feminine woman’s psychological makeup is different from a man’s. A woman will look to a dominant masculine figure more than just for sexual gratification. She also seeks security and protection. In fact, these desires are so powerful that she, in her own mind, exempts her husband for having multiple lovers. She will allow such a relationship as long as her husband doesn’t bring anyone she doesn’t like around her, interact with family members, or be mocked about it in public. Generally women have more emotional needs than men, while males must be psychologically stronger to provide for those needs.
3. Political correctness about multiple relationships outside the US
In countries in Latin America, like Mexico, a man can be president and known to have fathered illegitimate children. In parts of the world with a Muslim tradition it’s impossible for many women to divorce her husband purely on the grounds of infidelity. No amount of feminism is going to change that and it wouldn’t make much sense to attempt it.
A single man in his 40s living in the US who has never been a father could easily find a woman in South America willing to bear his children. As long as you agree to raise the child and care for it financially, a woman say in Columbia would love to have your kid and would rather give birth to a child knowing that it has a possible better future. So much for those who hate masculinity and say: “We don’t need men,” because at the end of the day men can say we don’t need feminism.
Mexican president Enrique Nieto acknowledges fathering other children.
4. Is both game and settling down right for me?
The truth, is for most guys it’s not. To be a man is to admit that who he is today is a combination of how he was raised by his parents and certain cultural beliefs that may not allow a particular lifestyle. However, if your desire is to have a woman and be together until death do you part, then you may be tempted to both game and settle down as a way of managing the tedium of your relationship.
One of the first things you learn in game is how you must be honest with yourself before you can go for what you want. No woman is going to feel secure in a relationship if you are unsure about what you want out of it. And, just because you managed to pull off a relationship that involves multiple women, doesn’t mean that you and yours will live happily ever after. A woman would have to love you above anything else and find it extremely difficult to live without you.
Women are capable of such feelings for a person, but a man’s frame must be so strong and indifferent that she completely feels like it was her choice to adore the man in such a way. If you find a woman who is madly in love with you, then you will have to make it known what kind of relationship is it going to be. She needs clear boundaries so she can feel free to focus on pleasing you as a man. The sooner you establish what type of relationship you want from her, the more willing she will be to help you make that happen.