The 5 Worst Wingmen In Modern History

5. Chewbacca

“Chewy” cockblocked Han Solo back and forth across the entire galaxy.  Besides being over 7 feet tall and hairy, Chewbacca couldn’t speak one word of English, and he had a horrible temper.

At least he could back you up in a fight, and he most likely had a huge shlong.

And by the way, this isn’t that first time that Harrison Ford had a horrible wingman:

“NO TIME FOR LOVE DR. JONES!”

4. Magic Johnson

Lets just say he won’t be “taking one for the team” anytime soon.

“But Captain Power, Magic Johnson is rich and famous.  Are you Positive that you don’t want him as a wingman?”

“I’m HIV-Positive that I don’t want him for a wingman.”

3. Beavis

“He he he.” With one of the most annoying laughs of all time, Beavis is the 3rd worst wingman in modern history.  To be honest, I never thought that Butthead was a bad looking guy (no homo),  and he definitely had some decent “game.”  Butthead should have gotten rid of this loser a long time ago.  I couldn’t get laid in high school either, so I used to stay up all night watching these guys on television. (Notice that they are in Washington D.C.)

2. Hitler

My grandfather spent 3 years in Europe looking for this asshole.  Can you imagine going into a bar with his guy? Besides being probably the worst human being in modern history, he is also one ugly bastard.   I wouldn’t let him stand within 20 feet of me with that horrible moustache and comb over.

Was he gay? Who knows.  But he must have been somebody’s wingman in his early 20’s at the German Beer halls.

1. Paul from “The Wonder Years”

This guy was the worst wingman ever! I watched his best friend Kevin Arnold chase Winnie Copper around for five straight seasons!  His best friend had the worst case of “one-itis” in television history, and Paul didn’t do anything to stop it.  In almost every episode Paul was in the background bitching and complaining to Kevin, and being a total cockblocker.   He was always wearing  horrible clothes and his ugly glasses, and he was constantly blowing his nose because of his allergies.

Congratulations Paul!  You are the worst wingman in modern history!

Read More: The World Is A Cock Blocker