One of the following has almost certainly happened to you at some point: you got rejected by a girl when things seemed to go well. Or a girl flaked on you. Or she blows you off, cheats on you, lies, or flirts with some other dude. You may have been quick to brush her actions under the rug, rationalizing that she’s a bitch, but are you willing to ask yourself if perhaps you might be doing something wrong too?

Many women will cheat on you if given the right circumstances, but it doesn’t exonerate you from your responsibility. She might do any of the above for an obvious reason: the presence of a guy who turns her on more than you. It means you’re losing demeanor and dominance over your domain. Unless she’s a psycho or the town’s designated orifice, when a woman’s attraction takes a nosedive it is, more often than not, your failure.

Don’t brush it off, don’t rationalize it by saying it’s not your fault. 9 out of 10 times when a woman is losing attraction for you it’s because you are not the dominant figure you used to be. So, you have to up your game. Keep your outcome-dependency under control, flush out your bad body language, and suppress negative thinking.

Also, don’t underestimate competition and don’t overestimate your game unless your confidence is built on a solid foundation. If you think you’re ultra confident but you’re not getting any tail, you’re doing it wrong. The only accurate unit of measurement for success with women is penis in vagina. Anything else is feather stroking your pasty ego.

You can never stop playing the game if you want to be a part of it. With emphasis on playing. Don’t take yourself too seriously, unless you’re warranted to do so. When she breaches your trust or crosses a line, it’s your duty to nuke the hell out of the woman or dump her if it’s called for. Respect is non-negotiable. If you don’t respect yourself, no one else will.

You are the mixed result of your experiences. Not the sum, at least not until you understand those experiences. And then your journey has just begun. You’ll have to refine that gem and start polishing every facet of you. This will take a long time, the rest of your life to be exact.

Take a mental note on every slip-up, be honest with yourself about it and correct it. At the end of the day, you should better yourself for no one else but you. Most often than not, the main reason someone fails is because he’s not trying hard enough. Betas are quick to blame others or external factors for their failures. Alphas see an opportunity to learn from failures. Here are a few things you may internalize if you see fit:

1. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

2. Failure is an effective learning tool. If you can learn from other’s mistakes, that’s even better.

3. Follow your own set of rules, don’t bend them for others.

4. Don’t rationalize your mistakes to save your ego. Aim to become as ego-less as possible. A big ego is a sign of insecurity and vulnerability.

5. Educate yourself to keep emotional thinking to a minimum and become as outcome-independent as possible.

6. Assume responsibility for your actions.

You can be your own worst enemy or your own best friend. The choice is yours.

Read More: The Biggest Hindrance To Success With Women Is Ego