Everyone enjoys feeling happy, that much is obvious
We know this because feeling happy is inherently “good”— people generally prefer the feelings, emotions, and whatever other chemical reactions go on inside your brain when you can describe your current state as “happy.” Also, it’s what society has told us is best ever since we were born.
Drugs can induce happiness. Exercise can induce happiness. For some people, buying things can induce happiness.
Being happy is arguably the most common goal shared by humans. At least, that’s what most of us would tell you. What you observe the average person do on a typical day would likely immediately call this goal into question. But I digress…
So, exploring this common aspiration one step further, is what makes a man happy fundamentally different from what makes a woman happy? Strictly biologically speaking, perhaps not. But I’d argue that given all of the social conditioning that we experience from the moment we’re born and the history and evolution of our race, that yes, it is quite different.
Males have unquestionably taken on the dominant role
From the very act of sex, where a man must literally penetrate a woman to procreate, it’s clear that the initiative must be taken by the man. And so to go back on my previous point, perhaps the very essence of what makes men happy is indeed biologically distinct.
And this biological difference is only the root. As history shows us, men have led the charge forward since forever. There are exceptions to every rule, but the vast majority of great leaders have been men. From fearless kings like Alexander the Great, who expanded and conquered, to genius scientists like Isaac Newton, who invented and discovered, men have consistently been the ones to push society forwards.
And most men who are considered great, like the two I mentioned above, are characterized by strength, perseverance, leadership, courage, and of course, literal accomplishments.
I’d like to take a second to note that none of this is to put down women. Men wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for women. And women play a critical role in the life of every great man. Furthermore, as society continues to evolve, women are making strides towards being leaders. However, I’m writing this to speak to men. More specifically, I’m writing this to speak to men’s primal instincts and desires — and these are all inevitably linked to the ideals of strength, growth, leadership, and domination – the characteristics of the “alpha male.”
What fundamentally makes us happy as men?
I’m not talking about a short-term happiness induced by drugs, sex, or video games. I’m talking about what fills a man’s cup to the brim with a striking confidence that perpetuates a solid state of happiness that persists in the long term.
What truly makes a man happy and fulfilled is undoubtedly the act of progressing towards becoming someone who possesses the aforementioned qualities of the “alpha male”: strength, decisiveness, leadership, confidence, charisma… all around domination. You’ll notice I included the word “progressing” in the previous sentence. That’s because it’s the process of growing that induces happiness. It is the process of surpassing your previous self that is so fulfilling. Not the end state of being a badass motherfucker – that’s just the icing on the cake.
Think about any great accomplishment you’ve made: a job you fought for, a girl you seduced, a weight loss goal you reached, a product or project you completed, or anything else for that matter. What do you have fonder memories of: the process and hard work that went into achieving the goal or the aftermath of success?
It’s almost always the former. The experience you gain, the lessons you learn, and the character traits you develop through the process of persisting until you completed a particular goal are usually the hidden prizes. You carry these things with you for the rest of your life. They change who you are. The job, the girl, or the money you received from your product is awesome, yes, but it’s only temporary. It’s just the icing on the cake – you’ve now know how to get this “prize” again and again.
So how can we apply this principle more generally to my life, your life, or the life of any man? I believe the answer is that we must continually strive to be more “alpha” – we must continually strive, through various goals and processes, to become stronger, more courageous, more confident, more resilient, more charismatic, and overall more masculine men. This is what will bring us true happiness and fulfillment. And, perhaps more importantly, this is what will allow us to affect and add value to the world and the lives of all those who surround us.
Want to radically improve your confidence and sense of masculine purpose in less than a month? Check out my online course 28 Days to Alpha.
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