In the past year, I’ve had no less than five different girls cheat on their boyfriends or husbands—or attempt to cheat—with me. I’m not talking about seedy hookups on Tinder where I found out the girl was attached after I banged her, but normal girls I knew socially who decided I was the man they wanted to have an affair with. Some examples of the girls I’ve encountered:
- An Ivy League-educated housewife in her early twenties who tried to make a move on me when I visited her and her husband some time ago. She later divorced her husband so she could shack up with a friend of mine (and fellow manosphere blogger), then dumped him to get gangbanged by a bunch of survivalists in Wyoming. You can read the full story here.
- A young groupie of mine who flew out to hang out with me in upstate New York without disclosing the fact that she had a boyfriend back home. You can read more about what happened here.
- A girl who sent me unsolicited nudes despite having a boyfriend.
I’m not going to argue the morality of banging other mens’ wives. While I don’t take the view that I’m a moral innocent in these affairs, I’m also not going around looking for these girls; it was they who went after me. I don’t know exactly when my life turned into a Charles Bukowski novel, but I figure I should at least teach other guys what I’ve learned so they don’t end up with a jilted boyfriend’s baseball bat to the face.
Here’s how to tell when a girl you know socially is angling to suck your dick.
1. She drinks
People hate it when I (or others) point this out, but it’s the truth. If a girl drinks anything other than wine, Twisted Teas, or girly cocktails like daiquiris, she will cheat. It’s physics. It’s inevitable.
Alcohol is the lubricant that greases the cogs of male-female relations. It’s no coincidence that cultures and religions where drinking is verboten (e.g. Islam, Mormonism) are seriously screwed up. But when a girl drinks, her id is unchained and her superego is banished to the darkest corners of Hell. Her long-suppressed fantasies and desires come bubbling to the surface, and if you’re part of those fantasies, you better watch out.
2. She hates other girls
Girls who talk about how they “hate” other women or prefer hanging out with men (for example, one of the girls who cheated with me told me that she’s “afraid” of other women) are prime candidates for infidelity. These girls have more masculine personalities (even if they work harder at appearing feminine), and the greater ease they have in being social with men makes it more likely they’ll end up in bed with one of them. Essentially, these girls have a best-of-all-worlds special: the thinking style of a man and the rationalization hamster of a woman.
3. She seeks you out to be your friend
The reason I’m being specific is because if it’s the other way around, she’ll never sleep with you. Girls who seek men out for platonic friendships always have an ulterior sexual motive, even if they don’t consciously recognize or act on it right away. A friend of mine put it best (paraphrasing): it’s impossible to have a long-term female friend, because if you’re really such good friends, you’re going to end up fucking sooner or later… which isn’t what friends do.
I’m coming around to the idea that it’s almost impossible for men and women to be “just friends,” because most non-familial male-female relationships have a sexual undercurrent that eventually explodes. Whether it’s a dorky dude getting friendzoned or a desperate housewife in dire need of a good deep dicking, men and women can’t keep their minds off their genitals. If a platonic friendship lasts, it’s only because one or both friends are afraid of the consequences of sleeping around.
4. She tells you, “I’m not going to sleep with you”
This goes for any girl, but doubly in the case of taken women. If a girl says that she’s not going to sleep with you, it means she’s thinking about sleeping with you: she blurts the line out as a last ditch attempt to stop herself. Variants on this line I’ve heard from girls include “My husband trusts me to drive you around alone, he knows we’re not going to sleep together” and “You like [HUSBAND’S NAME], he likes you… nothing’s going to happen between us.”
5. She was sexually abused as a child
Girls who were molested as children—particularly by a family member—are fundamentally disconnected with their sexuality, which makes them more apt to sleep around. For example, a great many porn stars, strippers, prostitutes and other “sex workers” were sexually abused as children, and this sexual disconnect enables them to do their jobs.
6. She has tattoos or piercings
Do I really need to elaborate on this one?
7. You’re more of a man than her significant other
As much as I hate manosphere sperg talk like “sexual market value,” it’s perfectly appropriate here. If you’re a better prospect than her boyfriend or husband (e.g. because he’s an unkempt slob, lazy, has no ambition, or is a spineless pussy), expect her thoughts to wander towards straying.
8. She’s a writer or artistically inclined
I’ll let one of the girls I’ve slept with explain this one: “Writers are shitty people, because we’re experts at rationalizing the shitty things we do to others.” Girls who are involved in other artistic endeavors (e.g. art, music) are also suspect, but writers are by far the worst when it comes to infidelity.
9. She has a personality disorder or a history of mental illness
Pretty much all the girlfriends or wives who’ve slept with me weren’t playing with a full deck. Whether they were narcissists, codependents (“inverted narcissists”), or full-blown borderlines, every unfaithful woman I’ve known is whacked in the head. Any girl on antidepressants or antipsychotics is one bad day from jumping on another man’s cock.
Again, I’m not arguing for or against screwing taken women. Moral dilemmas are easy to think about in the abstract; when you’re actually thrust into the middle of one, things tend to get messy. But if you pay attention to how women around you act, you won’t be taken by surprise when one of them plants a kiss on your lips.