How To Become A Better Misogynist
As a group, the manosphere is continually labeled misogynistic. While I’ve yet to hear of one man ever losing a wink of sleep over it, I have seen many men embrace the title with an aloof smirk on their face – and that includes me.
“You’re such a misogynist!”
“Well, I have been practicing [playful smirk] … [get laid].”
I honestly think 99% of the men in these parts are displaying bogus misogynist credentials in order to gain access to mountains of poosy since women of all ages and social/professional varieties seem to gravitate toward those types of men. While I don’t blame them and often engage in this myself, I feel it is my duty as a manosphere writer to point out inconsistencies even when those inconsistencies are apparent in our own camp and I am a part of the problem.
Call yourself masculine, an asshole, a jerk, a player or an alpha male – but don’t call yourself a misogynist unless you’ve earned it. If you want to be a true misogynist, you’re going to have to do a lot better than an aloof attitude, player lifestyle, or cracking the occasional rape joke just to dim the countenance of a feminist shrew.
When it comes to really hating women and being a true misogynist, it’s not enough to hookup with a bunch of girls who fight for their right to have hookups. The two kind of cancel each other out.
It’s not enough to say something “piggish” because even the women who denounce it flash a quick smile if they find you attractive. That’s why you said it in the first place.
It’s not enough to pump-and-dump a bunch of women. They say they don’t need a man anyway, so you’re basically just helping them out with that. Plus, the real term should be “pump-and-dump-her-before-she-dumps-you-for-some-bad-boy-who-has-the-balls-to-pump-and-dump-her-because-she-likes-the-challenge” but that’s a little too long to keep writing out.
It’s not enough to crack rape jokes when you’re the kind of man who would risk bodily harm to pull a perv rapist off of some woman you don’t even know. If you really thought rape was ok or funny, you’d be a rapist or at least a rapist sympathizer.
It’s not enough to call women bitches. We both know you’d exchange your own life for the safety of your wife, mother, sisters, daughters, nieces, and in some cases (if you’re a misguided white knight) your girlfriend.
It’s not enough to promote gender roles when study after study shows women are happier, marriages last longer, and the sex is better when couples liaise in a traditional manner. That actually makes you the opposite of a misogynist.
Now these masculine actions may cause Sandra Fluke’s penis to chub in angry arousal or make some fat Jezebel writer crack open a second pint of Ben & Jerry’s as her porky little sausage fingers feverishly pound the keyboard in a way no man would ever want to pound her, but it’s not misogyny. If you really want to be a better misogynist, you may want to consider doubling down on the hate and doing something that destroys women (or at least permanently scars them.) Here’s what I suggest:
1. Convince them there is no such thing as feminine strength.
Do your best to convince women that anything and everything that is feminine is weak. Teach them that being the primary influence in the next generation’s life is oppression, and that outsourcing their biological and moral duties to a daycare center is a good idea. Teach them that their natural ability to be loving, caring, and nurturing while still having the fearlessness, tenacity and strength of a pissed off grizzly bear when someone attacks their family is a stereotype that should be avoided. Teach her that the natural masculine traits which garner her natural feminine attention only exist to take advantage of and oppress her.
When she does succumb to the allure of masculinity (and she will), teach her that the masculine man’s propensity to love, value, protect, and defend her is creepy and controlling. If you can pull this off until you see a bunch of 45 year old women stuck in cubicles bitching about their weak husbands and talking about how much they miss seeing their children grow up, you sir can rightly call yourself a misogynist.
2. Trap them in slut culture.
Promote a hookup slut culture where alpha males can opt out whenever they choose and still attract the type of women they desire, but slutty women can’t opt out and attract an alpha male who has options. This will create an environment where “settling” is something that only weak men and strong women do. This will also force the less-adventurous women to slut it up for alpha pleasure, because if they try to act like ladies and be selective, they will quickly lose the attention of the most desirable men who have a plethora of other easy sex options.
When you force women to either put out quickly or risk a life of social solitude, you reinforce the idea that their primary contribution to society is booty, which will make them opt in to #1 above to prove their worth. Organize a slut walk or something. This is a brilliant self-sustaining cycle guaranteed to keep women unhappy, and only a true misogynist would dare go this far.
3. Convince them that Mother Nature and Father Time keep shoddy records.
Fertility declines far more rapidly than an organization’s need for female workers to push paper or ship a few extra widgets. Convince women that biology will wait for them while they pick up that MBA and climb the corporate ladder. America is a place where a woman actually can have it all: she can be a beloved wife, a good mother and raise a wonderful family AND she can go to grad school and have a brilliant career. The trick is to get women to switch the two priorities so they go for the career first and the family later instead of the other way around which is a far more logical and biologically sound approach. This will ensure both choices are more difficult, less enjoyable, and have a negative impact on each other.
When women are overworked and overloaded physically and mentally, they cannot be the mother or employee they truly want to be. This mental tug of war will tear at their soul until they pack on additional body fat and need Prozac to manage the depression brought on by fatigue and guilt. A true misogynist would enjoy keeping women depressed, drugged up, and in a constant state of guilt.
4. Create a perma-victim female society.
Someone who truly hates women will incite fear by convincing them that everyone is out to get them. By ensuring a fear-fueled perma-victim female society and setting yourself up as their defender, you can enjoy a loyal following as you fight the perceived enemy. A confused and frightened population is easily manipulated, and the true misogynist knows how to inflict pain and then leverage it to win Presidential elections, push legislation, and shame the men and women who dare step out of line in order to maintain power. Once you get the majority of the female population to a place where they can’t be strong and independent without your leadership and social support – an oxymoron of epic proportions – you can add “evil genius” to your misogynist title.
This is a cruel textbook example of sociopathy, but if you want to be a real misogynist, you’ve got to keep women in perma-victim status so you can manipulate them like little children.
5. Turn the Feminist Lite™ into a Radical Feminist.
Most women these days will occasionally spout off feminist talking points, but it’s usually relatively harmless tripe regarding equal outcomes opportunity, guaranteed success access, or the removal of gender-based consequences barriers. These statements can be easily dismissed or ignored because the Feminist Lite™ will forget all about her so-called deeply held feminist beliefs when she gets a good stiff alpha pole inside of her or she becomes pregnant and magically turns into a conservative traditionalist. The true misogynist will find these Feminist Lite™ girls and turn them into Radical Feminists while they’re young. Radical feminism isn’t anti-male at all; it’s actually anti-female.
Radical feminists don’t want women to be more like men or men to be more like women – radical feminists want women to become just like they are: fat, ugly, unhappy, and mad at the world for taking notice. Radical feminists are the biggest misogynists on the planet, which is why Roosh’s article “The 9 Ugliest Feminists In America” could have also been titled “The 9 Biggest Misogynists In America.”
So basically, if you’re really interested in learning how to become a woman-hating misogynist who is intimidated by feminine strength and jealous of feminine beauty, you need to stop reading Return of Kings and head over to Jezebel or Feministing. They’re the experts.
Read Next: Being A Misogynist Can Help You Get Laid
Tweet Follow @returnofkingsAbout the Author
Edward Thatch was a weekly contributor at Return of Kings until he passed away unexpectedly after being crushed to death under the weight of his own massive ego. Tall, devastatingly handsome, witty, and successful; the poor lad just couldn’t handle the supreme awesomeness of his own being. May he rest in peace.
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