Learning game is rather like learning a musical instrument. Technique can be taught – body language, what to say, and how to lead. Core “talent” – which in this case translates as sexual presence – can’t. But it is the key element to attracting girls that you have in your arsenal.
When I see guys chatting up girls, it is almost always sexual presence, or intent, that is missing. So many times I’ve seen a man interacting with a woman, maybe saying something funny and making her laugh, but with no suggestion that he intends on – or is even capable of – ripping her clothes off and having sex with her. And yet this is exactly what he must do to be successful. The girl must sense immediately and without any question that he is a dominant, sexual man.
In both night game and daygame, the optimum state you can achieve is a kind of sexual trance, where you prowl around like a tiger eying its prey, ready to pounce. If you can get there then you will find that the importance of your “outer game” will diminish as girls are drawn to you on a primal level. If you’ve ever had the experience of making out with a girl in a club without even having spoken to her, or having sex within a few minutes of meeting, then it will have been because the degree of sexual presence you showed was sufficient to arouse her without any “pick-up” window-dressing.
So how do you become a ball of pent-up sexual energy? As I’ve said, this is difficult to teach as it needs to come from within. Every pick-up interaction is to some degree an expression of your inner-state at the time: every successful pick-up occurs when your sexual energy is potent and you have signaled this sufficiently to the girl.
This is easier for some guys than others. If you had a particularly conservative upbringing, and you are not comfortable with being sexual, then the curve is going to be steeper than for a former high school jock accustomed to getting blowjobs from co-eds after class. There are a few things that you can do to help get into the right state, however.
As with many things in life, if you adopt certain external behaviors, then your mind will quickly catch up. One of the most fundamental ways in which you can demonstrate that you are a sexual man is through your body and the way you move. The way you walk through a bar or nightclub is critical.
Ensure that your head is high and your shoulders back at all times. Relax your shoulders so that your arms are hanging down casually by your sides. Shake them so that they feel loose and free. Walk forward, rotating your torso from side-to-side from your lower back. Walk with your legs wide apart, and your crotch slightly angled forward, as though you are being led by your cock. Angle your head up so that you look down slightly on each girl you pass. Your aim is to take up as much room as you can with a cocky, cavalier attitude. Imagine you are John Wayne in a cowboy movie.
This may feel unnatural: you should exaggerate your movements at first, until they become second nature. A lot of game is akin to acting. Imagine that you are a cocky, alpha guy (if you’re not already) and move how that guy would move. Soon, it will be easy.
Girls have often commented on the way that I walk around as if I own the place. When I show sexual intent, therefore, I am congruent. It’s a simple trick and very easy to pull off.
You will rarely read a manosphere blog or men’s self-improvement book without lifting weights being advocated somewhere. The reason I mention it here is because it will help you with your posture, but mainly because it will boost your testosterone, thus increasing your sexual potency.
There are other sources where you can find specific information about working out. In my experience, though, compound exercises or exercises that target bigger muscles like bench press, shoulder press, dead lifts and squats give me a kind of high, making me feel masculine and sexually powerful. This is exactly the mood you need to be in when you go out to meet women.
Try lifting weights right before you hit the club. I guarantee it will lift your mood, you will feel more on-point, and this will be apparent to the girls you target.
3. Approach loads and loads of women
Once you’re out, approach as many women as you can. In fact, you should never stop approaching. Do daygame and night game. Sure, daygame may yield fewer solid leads, but the one thing it does do when practiced consistently is it ensures that you are on-point. Do you really think a guy who talks to one hundred women in the street in a month is going to have a problem approaching some stuck-up hottie in a bar?
More importantly, the more girls I hit on the more sexually potent I feel. Strangely, it doesn’t matter whether I get rejected or not. Even after a knock-back, I find myself feeling more in-state and more predatory than before. This communicates itself to the next girl I talk to.
Always be approaching. Look girls straight in the eye and allow your gaze to communicate your masculine sexual power. Be ruthless and unemotional. Negative reactions don’t matter. You’re not doing this to please people or to make friends. You’re doing it to get laid. If a girl is rude or bitchy or says “but it was nice to meet you,” simply turn your back on her and go on to the next. Keep grinding out the approaches and you will find the girls that are interested in you.
4. Watch strippers and porn and listen to hip-hop
Refute the tainted lessons of feminism. To be sexual with women you need to objectify them. You need to be able to visualize the cute girl in the woolly hat coming out of Whole Foods having a crazy, sweaty threesome with you.
The best way to do this? Expose yourself to material that presents girls as sex objects. Go to strip clubs (don’t buy dances though – hit on the girls instead). Watch porn – in moderation. I know I risk getting some heat for saying that from the no-fap brigade, so here’s a thought: watch it, but don’t jerk off while you’re doing so. This will help you get into the right mindset and remind you that girls are sexual creatures, while storing up desire that will spur you on when you’re out meeting real women.
Hip-hop music, with its unapologetically sexual lyrics, is also great for getting you in the mood.
You need to shift your perception of women so that you see them as 80% sexual and 20% wholesome, rather than the other way around. Do this, and you will find that your interactions with them are much more charged.
5. …but don’t fap (too much)
Don’t masturbate too much. If possible, try to keep it to a couple of times a week. You need to maintain the balance between being so horny that you come across as desperate and being sated, pale, and moon-eyed after a wanking marathon, too exhausted to approach anyone. This will vary from guy to guy: find a balance that is right for you.
6. Assume her sexual attraction to you
This is key. Go into every interaction with the assumption that she is into you. This will give you permission to be sexual from the outset.
7. Push it further than you think you can
A recent Heartiste post confirmed that in the land of cock and pussy, the currency of over-confidence is essential. Be sexual with her more quickly than you think you can get away with – that is, look at her commandingly, with deep eye contact; touch her, hold her hand and kiss her early on; and drop in suggestive comments.
Of course, it goes without saying that you should never do anything against a girl’s will. If she seems pissed off or upset then pull back immediately. My point is that it is your job as a man to show sexual intent and to lead the interaction in the right direction to your timetable.
8. Learn to deal with feelings of incongruity
For many of us, showing sexual intent and presenting ourselves as sexual beings can feel uncomfortable, especially if we are not used to it. After all, the feminine-primary culture we were brought up in encourages men to suppress their true masculine natures. You need to rebel against this, and initiate proper man-to-woman interactions with those girls you want to sleep with. Ignore any feelings that this behavior is somehow incongruent with your true self – it isn’t. It is merely incongruent with your conditioning. Men are sexual animals intended to behave sexually with women. Remember that, and act accordingly.
To find out more about how to develop a sexual presence and crush it with hot women click here