A problem for many guys who come to manosphere and game sites to learn about getting good with women is that they are naturally nice, or at least they are conditioned by a feminized society to limit the expression of their masculinity, and instead to display a PG-rated, polite, caring, soft version of themselves. This, after all, is what we’ve been told works. Girls want to meet a man who is non-threatening, interested in the same things they are, and in touch with his emotions. But very quickly our illusions are shattered when the exact behaviors we thought were prescribed not only fail to work, but often attract harsh blow-outs and female ridicule.
I don’t think we should denigrate men for this. I have a theory that the qualities that many of us naively thought women should like are in fact male values we projected onto them. Qualities I assumed would endear me to women, but which frequently had the opposite effect, are actually those that I value myself – being well-read; being willing to converse deeply on philosophy, literature, or politics; being polite and interested in others; having a sense of honor.
Make no mistake – so-called White Knighting is not merely a (flawed) strategy for obtaining sex (“You should like me because I’m such a great guy”): it is also a quixotic but in some senses admirable affirmation of how many men think things ought to be, if only the sexual marketplace were fair and reasonable: if only female psychology was more aligned with their own. I’m not saying that women don’t value these traits, or that they don’t end up with men who possess them. What I am saying is that they don’t find them inherently attractive.
What Women Really Want
What women really want, as is well-documented, is the bad boy, the jock, the douchebag, the exciting alpha whose devil-may-care swag causes tornadic pupil-enlarging and tsunamic Victoria’s Secret panty-wetting. For those readers unfamiliar with theories about women’s dual sexual strategy I suggest you start by checking out Sperm Wars by Robin Baker, or Krauser on r/k selection.
For our purposes here it suffices to say that an idea gaining a lot of credence is that as women grow increasingly independent from men (with their own incomes, support from the state, alimony payments etc.) provider qualities that were once attractive – being a sensible beta male with a good steady job to support her – are now frequently thought inferior to sexy jerk qualities that don’t suggest stability, but do suggest a damn good bang and superior, alpha genes.
I was once the guy discussing Sartre and existentialism with some philosophically-inclined girl at the bar for hours before getting a polite peck on the cheek at the end of the night and no sex. Meanwhile, some juiced dude in an Ed Hardy wifebeater and trucker cap would already be nuts deep in whatever co-ed he’d picked up. If I’m honest, I would probably have been a bit snobbish about such a man, whose technique was the polar opposite to my smoother, more cerebral and woefully ineffective approach. But it would have served me better to have observed his behavior and attitudes and incorporated some of them into my own.
Alpha Douchebag Club Game in Action
I recently spent a few days on the Spanish party island of Ibiza. For those who haven’t been, you can read my write-up of it here, but suffice to say it is the Vegas of Europe – blazing sunshine for five months of the year, huge clubs and literally thousands of hot girls getting off planes from England, Russia, Italy, mainland Spain, and the US every day. Here, at my favorite party Circo Loco at DC10, I was privileged to observe some of the most exquisite alpha douchebag club game that I have seen for a long time.
Circo Loco is a techno party that used to attract a very underground crowd composed largely of Italian music lovers. It was defiantly unglamorous with the focus being firmly on the beats. Ten years later, as with everywhere on the island, it now attracts a much bigger, more mainstream crowd, including many, many cute 18-24 year old girls in cut-off denim shorts, and alpha jock types. Standing in the back room listening to DJ Mees Dierpdorf play, I saw a very cute young English brunette get picked up by a loud AMOG (alpha male of the group) type in a vest with YOLO written on it. Here’s how it happened.
The AMOG was dancing with a group of three other guys in front of the DJ box. He was tall and muscular with a cheeky, good-looking face. He was whooping, throwing his arms in the air and moving around a lot, dominating the space about him. He was talking to everyone – guys, girls, young, old, cute or ugly. Just a friendly word or two here and there: “Alright mate,” “Sweet,” “Have a good night,” etc. He had a huge grin on his face and looked as though he was having the time of his life (of course, it is more than possible that he had taken MDMA, although I have no way of knowing this). He was touching everyone – a handshake here, a pat on the head there. He appeared interested only in having fun, in enjoying the music and dancing.
The cute brunette whispered something to her friend, and then approached the AMOG. She was holding a Spanish flamenco fan. She stood right in front of him and wafted it up and down, cooling him off – after all, he was glowing with sweat from all that dancing. He laughed, pulled her towards him, rubbed the top of her head with his palm then kissed her on the cheek as though she were his little sister. He spoke briefly to her, looking down at her as though highly skeptical and puzzled by everything she said, sometimes pulling her in close to speak in her ear.
Shortly afterwards he carried on dancing as before. But now the brunette and her friend were part of the group. The AMOG didn’t pay much attention to them; he just carried on partying, talking to other guys and girls, having a blast. From time to time one of his friends would whisper something to the brunette, probably in attempt to ingratiate himself, but with a light, playful touch.
After ten minutes or so the group disbanded a little, and now the two girls were on the periphery again. Seeing his opportunity, a Spanish guy not associated with the AMOG’s group came up behind the brunette and began dancing close to her, holding her hips. The AMOG noticed. He came over immediately, put a huge arm around the girl and moved her to his right. Then he took her place in front of the unfortunate interlocutor, and began grinding his ass into her crotch, laughing all the while. Then he turned and playfully grabbed the guy’s head, pulled it towards him and kissed him on the cheek, as though this was all just good fun rather than serious mate-guarding.
His physical dominance over the man, and the latter’s humiliation, were plain for everyone to see. Then – and this was the AMOG’s masterstroke – he grabbed the brunette and threw her back into the Spaniard’s arms. Predictably, she shook her head, disgusted by the implication that she might actually want to be with this weaker, beta male. With huge, shining eyes she walked once more into the protective radius of the AMOG, who was now ignoring her and dancing wildly once more as though nothing had happened.
The unfortunate Spaniard walked away, his emasculation confirmed, his opportunity for sexual access to the brunette entirely and brutally eradicated. In contrast, the AMOG’s supremacy was now assured. I am certain that after his seeing off the lesser man, the brunette would have had sex with him in the bathroom right then, had he chosen to lead her there.
If this sounds like something you might see on a wildlife documentary, believe me, it was. But there is no other environment I know of where female hypergamy is so visible as in the modern nightclub. Here, the combination of alcohol, drugs, and overtly sexual music, as well as the array of potential male suitors on hand, means that attractive young women have little need or inclination to hide their active seeking out of the highest value males they can get.
Does this mean that alpha douchebag game is the only way? No. My natural style is based more on conversation, coupled with increasing physicality throughout the interaction. It works well for me and for people I’ve taught. Could I have pulled the cute brunette? Quite possibly. She was certainly no more attractive than other girls I’ve slept with recently. But let’s be honest, stealing her from the AMOG that night would have been a challenge. A well-built natural who exhibits physical dominance and emanates a fun, don’t-give-a-shit attitude in a club is always going to be hard to beat, as this is an environment where women are bombarded with stimuli and are looking for the most exciting, shiny thing they can find.
How To Use Alpha Douchebag Game
If you are not like the AMOG in this anecdote then there a few things you can do. The first is to consider whether night game is for you at all. If you favor a softer, more conversationally-led approach, then you might be better off sticking to daygame. That’s not to say that you’re not also competing with AMOGs in the girl’s circle during the day, but at least they won’t be present, so you can take your shot in a more low-key, less pressured situation. If clubs are your thing, though, I would say there is a lot to be learned from AMOGs and it’s worth watching them and copying some of their behaviors.
First, if you don’t work out, then begin immediately. I go to the gym about five times a week. I’m not huge, but I have developed greater muscle mass over the years, which means that I feel significantly more confident around other men than when I was in my early twenties. Second, rather than doing hundreds of “gamey” cold approaches, you might experiment with simply going out with a group of high-value male friends, dominating the club environment, speaking to everyone, having a great time and attracting girls to you that way. In my anecdote – and this is the mark of the true alpha – the AMOG didn’t have to bother approaching the cute brunette. She came to him. I’m not saying do nothing – obviously you still need to interact with girls, but given you will be talking to everyone anyway, and those close to you will likely be there because they are attracted to your energy, then the job of pulling them will be much easier.
You should look quizzically at girls when they talk to you, as if they are children who aren’t quite making sense. Be physical with everyone – especially other men. High-fives, hugs, pats on the back, handshakes. If you can make it look as though you can dominate other guys then you are well on the way to creating pussy Niagara Falls in your vicinity. Don’t try to be cool – smile, be happy and look like you’re having an amazing time. Be friendly to people – the true alpha can afford to be magnanimous because he knows he can kick the ass of anyone who steps out of line.
While “dark triad” characteristics are undeniably attractive to women, the greatest currency in a nightclub is fun. You should not appear to attach too much importance to your target. And if another guy moves in on her then feel free to replicate the technique I’ve described here as it was, quite frankly, a stroke of genius (judge the situation carefully though – don’t get yourself beaten up).
Another thing you should bear in mind is this. The cute brunette I describe looked like a typical good girl – the type who the average beta would assume would be swayed by intelligent conversation, flowers and dinner. Not a bit of it. It was a central tenet of Mystery’s thinking that ultimate masculine energy attracts ultimate feminine energy. This is well worth remembering – especially in a highly competitive environment like a nightclub.
There will be those who read this and attribute the alpha’s success entirely to his looks and build, but that would be to miss the point. While those things undeniably helped (and every man can work on his body and his appearance) it was his behavior, his display of masculine dominance that really made the difference. Not everyone has to use this type of physically dominant game – there are other strategies – but you should at least be aware of it, of how susceptible beautiful young women are to it, and how easy to imitate it is.
Even if you are not a six foot, granite-jawed champion lifter, aping a few of the behaviors I’ve outlined here while in the club will pay dividends and will certainly differentiate you from the scared-looking, James Bond-imitating, wall-hugging guys that you are competing with.
To find out more ways to get more sex with beautiful young women click here.
Read More: How To Get Laid In Ibiza