Everything You Need To Know About Croatian Girls

1. Croatian girls are tall, tan, and thin. They primarily have a Mediterranean complexion of light olive skin, brown hair, and brown eyes, though blondes are not uncommon. Their long necks accentuate graceful, model-like figures. They have round asses but generally small breasts. They are, hands down, the most beautiful girls I’ve seen in my European travels, blowing away just about everywhere else except for pockets in the Baltics. They are both sexier and hotter than Polish and Ukrainian girls.

2. While Croatian girls are feminine, they seem ready for Westernization. Girls openly complain about wearing heels. If god came down from the sky and told them they didn’t have to be feminine anymore, the streets would be littered with makeup kits, shoes, and other beauty accessories. There’s a lazy “Why bother?” vibe I picked up, meaning it’s no surprise that there’s a high acceptance of hipsterism and the sloppy dress that it entails.

3. Most girls are sweethearts, but several negative personality traits will reveal themselves to you after a while. Girls can be crass, picky, lazy, and, most importantly, critical. Croatian girls are the pickiest I’ve encountered, with many girls openly criticizing me early in the approach about my physical flaws or chosen line of conversation. Not only will they constantly judge you, but they will do so in undiplomatic terms. The more confident the girl is, the more you’ll encounter these negative personality traits.

4. They are hypergamous by nature. Girls with boyfriends will be completely open to an approach, not dropping that fact until late in the game. For this reason I’ve made it a requirement to ask about the boyfriend within 15 minutes. Whether that’s good game or not, it made the difference for me in not getting strung along in text messaging hell with girls who wanted to play the field while in a relationship. Unfortunately, a large percentage of Croatian girls have boyfriends, but of course there are still many single girls around.

5. Almost all girls speak English. Everyone has to learn it in school from a young age.

6. Foreigners are well-liked. It’s not that Croatian girls don’t like their own dudes, but they feel that their country is boring and dull. They want to meet guys from exciting places like United States and England.

7. They offer a much better ROI than Ukrainian girls. In Ukraine you have the tough Eastern mentality, transactional female natures, rectum cities, and language barriers. In Croatia you have a pleasant capital city with English speakers and girls who are easier to get into bed. It’s a no-brainer to pick Croatia over Ukraine, though the verdict is still out on who makes a better girlfriend. Beware: the word is out on Croatian girls and you will have to deal with other love tourist competition in the next five years.

8. My game in Croatia automatically turned cocky because of the amount of attitude I encountered. The attitude wasn’t automatic, but it happened enough where I had to turn on the parts of my game that I haven’t used since America, especially when it came to getting cockblocked or bitched out by a fat friend. As long as you stay out of the snobbiest venues in the city, you shouldn’t have too many problems with this.

9. Isolation away from friends is key. Once you master isolation, you master banging Croatian girls. The move that helped me isolate and led to the most bangs was “Let’s go for a walk.” You must resist all her attempts to de-isolate in the form of bringing girlfriends along. If you’re going for a fast bang, there is no benefit to trying to wow her social circle.

10. The older women (approaching 30) put out many spinster characteristics that are similar to their American counterparts. Their attitude is rougher, they play a lot of games, and they constantly test you. At an age where they should have a softer vibe in the hopes of competing against their younger counterparts, they can be a pain in the ass to deal with. I preferred to work in the 19-23 year old range.

11. Hot women over 24 are looking for rich dudes, even sponsors. You’ll be able to smell them a mile away: impeccably dressed and done-up with the highest heels but wearing a constant bitch face. They don’t care if the guy is in the mafia or in the board room as long as he’s a big fish. As Western culture infects Croatia and destroys the nuclear family, I predict you’ll have a lot of attractive older women waiting for a wealthy man to marry them. Ten years down the line, this may set up an excess supply issue that facilitates Croatian mail-order bride businesses.

12. Ignore reports on the internet that Croatian sea resorts during the summer are a great place to bang local girls. I found this to be hype. The sea resorts are huge sausage fests (both foreign and domestic sausage) and the girls know their value. It’s not uncommon for them to be surrounded by gangs of friends. While you can still do it, it’s far easier to bang a girl you meet in Zagreb in the middle of summer using day game than to compete with a bunch of horny, drunk guys on the seaside.

In spite of the many downsides you’ve just read, the average men will appreciate the talent in Croatia more than my diminishing favorite, Poland. My experience in Croatia did take away the glow I had on Polish girls because the quality I banged in Croatia was indisputably higher. The only question is if the party will continue as more love tourists head to Zagreb.

Read Next: 9 Reasons Hvar Island Sucks