Here’s an interesting insight I received via email about the cause of flaking…
Girls flake because not enough value was built. As a result she at least thinks she’s good enough for you (in the worst case she thinks she’s the best you can get). So even if she cancels a few times, she’s sure you’d be chasing her – so this is not a “cancellation” to her, just “postponement”. Do you think an average Western chick would flake on Elvis? I’m pretty sure that even if she had some real family emergency, she’d still show up for him.
The problem we’re facing here is that it is damn hard to build sustained value for a Western chick due to the hordes of guys constantly throwing themselves on them. You may be the most articulated and expressive dude on the Earth, but she’ll talk to a dozen more before she sees you again, and will forget everything you said.
So far I figured out two key things here:
1. For a Western chick to be sure she’d call you back you need to build MORE attraction/value than you need to have a one night stand with her. So this only makes sense for the chicks you’d really want to meet as a person, not just as a wet hole. Sadly this excludes roughly 70% of the Western female population. This is why I’m not getting phone numbers in the US. Sure you combat it by playing the numbers game, but this is too much work for the below average results.
2. She must be sure that if she flakes, you won’t ever call her again. I have stories about chicks who got mad on me since I invited her out with me once, she canceled, and I never called her again after that. It also serves as an indicator – after the story is told, if she tries to justify the chick in any way, she’ll flake too.
In Always Have A Plan B you wrote, “This means you should always have a backup plan so that when a girlcancels, you’ll have an alternative that is as superior as goingout with her.”
This is why I don’t really have dates anymore. I’m going out to karaoke, to hang out with a friend, to ride a cart or to a rock concert. And I just invite her to join me there. If she skips, no big deal, I go there anyway, probably with someone else. Your aim is to please _yourself_, not her. Do what YOU like to do, and find the chicks who’d enjoy doing the same. There are chicks who’d love to spend the evening coming to your place to play Xbox, you just won’t meet them in a club.
So the action should be – plan an activity you’d like to do, THEN call her. This way you’re not tied up in any meaningful way by her.
Flaking is unfortunately an epidemic in America, and in a few years it will get so bad that you’ll come to see Colombian girls—who are famous for their flaking—as reliable and dependable. The best solution right now is simply to hope she flakes.
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