1. Danish girls act like guys.

After feminism had it’s big triumphant waves rinsing the Danish countryside, we were left with some excellent female friends who want to be like us. Unfortunately they threw their feminine side out in the process, cutting their hair short, burning bras, and growing distinct male characteristics. This has not happened in they same way in Brazil, where the women kept their femininity, even if they are well educated and career minded.

2. Brazilian women are clean and take showers up to 5 times a day.

Danish women only shower once a day. This has obviously something to do with the different climate, but still it’s nice to know that the “sweat spot” has been through several checkpoints during the day 😉

3. Summer dresses, high heels and bikinis are, not surprisingly, a huge part of the Brazilian wardrobe.

As a man I can only say: “It’s awesome!” In Denmark the weather doesn’t allow for such boner-pleasing outfits except for the occasional two days of summer in July, where Danish women show off their white marble columns.

4. Danish women have cold attitude.

When Danish women venture out doing their daily tasks like grocery shopping or whatnot, they grab the nearest potato sack, put in the classical white iPhone earplugs and tramp/bike down to the local supermarket with a “Don’t talk to me!” attitude. Brazilian women simply do some quick adjustments to that already perfect look in front of the mirror and slide gracefully down the sidewalk with an open minded, positive look in their eyes.

5. Brazilian people have a natural, healthy relationship with their bodies.

This makes sense in a sunny nation with an acute beach culture, but this can not be said about Danish people which has resulted in an awkward bed culture with lights off and blinds down during mechanical intercourse.

6. When asking for directions in Brazil, the women will kindly explain how to reach your destination, or even walk you some of the way.

In Denmark women will give you a suspicious look before unwillingly pulling out the earplugs to find out what your are rambling about and if you are a potential threat.

7. Brazilian women have for the most part really nice teeth.

Even if they don’t have their father’s extensive health plan coverage through Petrobraz or similar corporations, they brush their teeth 3-5 times a day and go to extreme lengths if correcting need be. Danish women brush their teeth only twice per day if you’re lucky. In addition, those straight pearls granted from above are quite random, although not as random compared to the British royal family.

8. Danish women are honest and raised with that circle pedagogy where everything should be debated in a friendly manner.

This is actually good and bad, because sometimes it’s just nice to have a good old fashion fight. Brazilians have a tendency to give white lies and are masters at yelling each other to pieces, making up afterwards with big emotions and aggressive lovemaking.

9. Small talk combined with a genuine interest in new acquaintances are some of the trademarks in Brazil.

You can in many cases walk up to almost anyone and initiate a conversation about the weather, traffic, or football without it being weird and intrusive. Needless to say you will be regarded as a pervert doing that in Denmark.

10. It takes a long time to claw down the defenses that a Danish woman surrounds herself with.

Once you are in (after one or two years), you might just have a friend for life. The same can be said of the Brazilian woman, but in addition, after ten minutes you can be kissing her like you’re a teenager again.

11. Brazilian women are jealous as hell.

If you are hoping to continue talking with your female single friends and ex-girlfriends while in a relationship with a Brazilian, which is not uncommon in Denmark, forget about it! A Brazilian woman will methodically make you go through each one of your female friends, putting you on the witness stand as she hammers down the verdict by which you are to comply.

12. Brazilians are a mixed race and you can recognize all kinds of characteristics in the faces when you walk down the street.

Out of that equation has come some of the most refined curvy women on the planet, with which Danish women simply can not compete. But, if you’re into those slim hips and boyish behinds, you will certainly not waste your time in Denmark.

There are other aspects that these twelve points don’t cover, like Janteloven (Jante Law), influence of beta and alpha males, structure of society, etc. They should be viewed as slightly caricatured observations. There is always that one exception in both cultures who doesn’t fit in here, and thank God for that.

And thank God for Brazil!

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