Growing up in Denmark I was raised with total equality between woman and man. It was only much later when I accidentally bumped into a Brazilian woman at a party that I realized I was born on the wrong continent.

We do have some great girls here, but the majority are way too cold and outright masculine in their attitudes. They make excellent friends though, but not marriage material! No! Women here fought so much for their rights during the last four decades, resulting in a breed of weak men who gave up their masculine side to better fit in to the “new and improved” relationship. And it works out great for many here, no doubt, but for those of us who aspire for that beautiful, feminine, charming, lovely, woman, who can make you wanna throw yourself of a cliff, we are faced with packing our bags and do something about it. That is not to say Brazilian women are weak. Many are well educated, determined, and strong, but did not lose their feminine side along with shaving the side of their heads in the process.

I have since then had three Brazilian girlfriends, lived in Brazil on two occasions, (each 5 months at the time), and gone through a lot of dates and learning experiences. If you are serious about finding a meaningful relationship with a Brazilian woman, there are a few things you need to come to terms with…

1. Most Brazilian women are like flowers. If you try bringing them home to your country expecting to live happily ever after, you are greatly mistaken. Because once the flower is away from it’s native soil, it will wither away after a while. Brazilians are warm people and need to be close to their families, friends, and warm weather.

2. Maybe you should be the one to move permanently to Brazil. When it comes down to it, many Brazilian women are simply not capable of moving away from their country.

3. It helps immensely to have some kind of career along with a stable financial situation. Brazilian women are not into lazy men. They themselves are hardworking, often studying while keeping a full-time job. You are in luck if you have a tradecraft in oil, finance, and engineering, which are highly useful in Brazil.

4. Learn the language and the culture! Just reading will definitely not be sufficient. Go on vacation for starters and experience things for yourself. Eventually you will understand why the girls say “I’ll call you tomorrow” and then three days later send you a text saying: “You disappeared?” Brazilians are romantic mixed with a little flakiness, and a cute tendency to give white lies. Somehow it makes the society go round.

5. You will likely not find your dream girl on your first vacation. The simple reason is that most serious women are not into gringos who are on vacation. Sure you can find a short romance, but as long as you don’t live there and have a job, you are not an eligible candidate for a serious relationship, unless you by some miracle bump into that one girl who just scored a scholarship in your country. (I once met a woman at the bar called Ovelha Negra in Botafogo. Conversation was going along fine until I mentioned that I would move back home soon… conversation over.)

If you insist on finding a Brazilian woman to bring to your own country, try to find someone who speaks English and has lived abroad before. She will naturally be interested in other cultures and know what it’s like to be away from her family and friends. The latter are the hardest ones to come by, but not impossible. As for myself, I tried in the past to bring a girl to Denmark, which brought me to the conclusions above. It has been everything but easy in retrospect, so I strongly recommend you NOT do it yourself.

I am sure this leaves a lot of questions unanswered as to where exactly to find these charming, future wives and what approach to use once you have arrived in Brazil. But each person is unique—some will do well at bars while others in a work environment. There is no universal game strategy for a meaningful relationship, because once you drop the facade you will reveal the true nature of yourself. The five points mentioned above can only get you so far, the rest you’ll have to figure out for yourself.

Happy love-hunting.

Read Next: 12 Ways Danish Women Are Different From Brazilian Women