Do you prefer raw dog sex to using a condom? I see everybody’s hand up.

Are you absolutely terrified of getting some random one night stand pregnant, then being stuck with a shitty mother for your children? I see the hands again.

Is a decent chunk of the reason you commit to a girl so that you can ditch the condoms? Yup, hands in the air again.

Can you trust your girlfriend, wife, or committed partner to not try to get pregnant without your knowledge?

Absolutely not.

Here’s why.

Friend #1

Him: 33

Wife: 37

This is one of my best friends whom I’ve known forever. They’ve been married for about a year and a half now, dated for a year and a half prior to that (give or take). Last September, they had their first child. Then, in February, they were pregnant again. Their children will be just over a year apart.

It was, by all means, an “accident.”

And by accident, I mean on his end. Apparently when a woman is breast feeding, doctors give them a lower dosage of birth control and warn the women that they should use other forms of contraception as it is a very low dose. My friend’s wife neglected to tell him this, and here he is with child #2 right around the corner. There is no doubt in my mind that this was a manipulatively planned scenario by my friend’s wife. Granted I’m not too fond of her to begin with, but she’s 37 and the clock was ticking on the first child, and now it’s up to hyper speed with this second one.

This friend makes over six figures and still has to work overtime to make the bills.

Friend #2

Him: 38

Her: 31

This guys sits next to me at work. They had their first child a little over a year and a half ago. He just told me this week that his wife decided to go to the doctor and take out her IUD—and didn’t bother to tell him for two months.

When he found out, he was understandably pissed—which set her off. Now he’s pulling out.

Every. Damn. Time.

Obviously, this makes no sense, but apparently she screamed obscenities at him and said, “I want another child! You are depriving me of the ability to have another child! You are horrible!”, etc., etc. They are having all sorts of issues about this now in their marriage.

Notice how all of her statements involve the words “I” and “Me.” Not once does she think about her husband, their current (stable, but not comfortable) financial situation, and hell—THE OTHER CHILD THEY HAVE.

Clearly, their oldest has grown out of his “trophy baby” stage, and this woman needs another baby to show off and have people go goo-goo-ga-ga at.

This friend and his wife have a combined household income of over $120k+ but still are renting an apartment and not saving any money.

Friend #3

We’re 2-for-2 so far, which you could call a coincidence. But 3-for-3? No way.

Another work friend. Their first child is also about a year and a half old. His situation is much like Friend #1. After the birth of their first child, his wife went on a low dosage of birth control. Another disclaimer about this birth control at low doses is that you must breast feed in order for it to be remotely effective. Well, their son is inconsistent with that—but she never told him that little caveat about the birth control.

In addition, she also switched birth control brands and stopped taking the pill for a few weeks—again, never mentioned it to him.

Now, he got lucky and she’s not pregnant. But they did have a scare or two. Supposedly, she has not flat-out said anything about wanting another child, and seems to be more sane than the other two.

This friend works and makes about $70k. His wife does not work.

The Takeaway

Let my friends serve as a lesson for you gentlemen out there dating girls who want kids. Be careful. I realize condoms suck, but it doesn’t seem like a bad option, to be honest, considering the alternative. At least keep an eye on her birth control supply, and make sure her IUD is secure when you’re fucking raw.

Unfortunately, there is no other option. Sure, you can try one of the male birth control pills cooked up in a lab in India, get invasive surgery on your balls in the form of a vasectomy, or you’re simply at the mercy of a woman who will be hormonal and lack any good sense of judgment. On top of that, you can almost guarantee she’ll have her own selfish agenda, with no regard whatsoever for you or any current children she may have.

Perhaps, someday, things will change.

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