You can’t present yourself as a high-value male without truly living the role. Standing as a man, straight-backed and confident with a steeled look in your eye, any woman who may be making eye contact with you is likely to be intimated to some extent, or at the very least have expectations if anything is to progress. You’re going to have to take control of the situation.

What does this mean? In the purest form, putting aside technology for now, just look at animals. During mating season, male pigeons are sticking out their chests, parading themselves amongst the others and aggressively pursuing the females. It’s quite funny, because the female pigeons sometimes look like they wonder what the hell is happening, when normally all of them are just pecking away minding their own business. Although I have my doubts, I’m sure they’re aware of what’s going on, the conniving fuckers.

Be The Best

Even if you’re walking around and have the belief you are the best you can be, a girl you see likely won’t do anything to initiate an approach. She might invite an approach, by sitting nearby, repeating eye contact, or doubling around so she walks past you again. But know, this is where you are expected to do something. She’s giving you the window of opportunity. Don’t dwell on it or any imagined consequences.

We put ourselves through much worse on a daily basis, by sitting on cramped public transport, going to jobs we hate and smiling through our gritted teeth at people we couldn’t really care less about. Initiating a conversation with a girl who is inviting you to do so is easier than any of these. In the age where the huge majority of men lean on technology or their work environment for 100% of their dating prospects, by approaching a girl directly you’re going to look like the fucking man.

Do remember there will always be some women who are just looking for validation. You’ll start the conversation and they’ll then act like you’re bothering them. Perhaps they’ll go quiet when you stay showing enthusiasm (I’ve noticed Brazilian women especially are really prone to speaking shortly with you following your opening lines). Don’t waste too much time with these types. Pull back and become a bit cold, show a casual attitude, like you are beginning to rapidly lose interest. If she doesn’t perk up, just make your excuses and walk away with your dignity, proud you took the step to initiate.

Context Is Key

Another important factor is context. Club game and online game are very similar, because you’re in a situation where women are constantly being validated, either by drunk dickheads or internet warriors. The best ways to counter this is to be a little more direct.

You should already know what your strong points are; employ them unreservedly. Escalate to a familiar enough level to get them to meet you in person if you are communicating online. Don’t leave too much time when you arrange to meet them – the same day is rarely possible but the next day should be standard. Remember, every day you waste between them agreeing to meet you and you actually meeting them is another 100 internet warriors elevating her ego by promising her the world.

In the same way, when in a club you have to be direct. I’m of course not saying you should be grabbing every girl of interest near you, but if you’re getting eye contact, you should be re-evaluating once or twice more at the most before going directly to the girl. Standing there like a mug staring at her is only going to transform you from “interesting guy” into “increasingly drunk weirdo.” Also remember, you’re in constant fierce competition when in a club. Even now, many guys only go to clubs to meet girls, because they know they’re more likely to meet a girl who will put out.

I would agree with this, girls go to clubs for attention and depending on how much attention they’re needing, this will determine how far they’re likely to go. It’s no secret when you meet a “party girl” who’s been around a lot, they exude a false veneer of confidence. They may appear confident in certain situations, but sit one of these women down and scratch below the surface; you’ll see there are massive insecurities. As such, they stand out in clubs, fucking guys when sometimes all the really want is the post-coitus hugs.

But that’s the way the world is. You should have a constant goal of escalation, increasing comfort while maintaining intrigue mixed in with generous helpings of physical contact, preferably with increasing intimacy. Remember, you’re not trying to grab her tits in the club – you’re trying to ignite her emotionally so she’s going to let you do whatever you want to them in the comfort of your own home.

Therein lies the key point; women are primarily emotionally driven. Your goal is to change her state to match whatever objective you have. This is for getting laid, for making a girl fall in love with you, for maintaining a relationship, everything involving women. Simply look at female-dominated work environments, which can be prone to being riddled with incompetence, yet sackings are rare because the “right type of person” and personal attachments are valued more than actual ability.

Disclaimer (sort of)

Despite what I’ve said here, there are a minority of good women out there—in my own experience of mainly western dating culture I would say about 5%. Don’t be so stupid to commit the typical male offense of thinking the girl you’re currently fucking is “different,” because she’s probably not. But if you are lucky enough to come across one of these quality minority, treat them as well (or just slightly less) as they are treating you. By employing these simple steps, you will ensure an active role in the topsy-turvy sexual marketplace of the west.

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