I often refer to marriage-worthy women as Leprecorns because they’re so rare, it’s like finding the offspring of two mythical creatures. But that’s just the nasty player side of me, and I’m finally starting to understand what I’ve been missing out on.

Have you ever noticed that it’s the nice guys and the beta herbs who always seem to find the marriageable women, while players seem to keep dating the same old skanks and bitching about it on the internet? Well I certainly have, and no sir, I don’t like it one bit. Players like me often suffer from selection bias, which means since we only pursue the type of women who are interested in quick sex, our view of the female gender as a whole (heh) becomes skewed. A player thinks most women are sluts in much the same way a drug dealer may think most people are addicts. The player’s chosen environment and actions become a self-fulfilling prophecy, and in the end, he doesn’t recognize marriage material when he sees it nor does he know how to attract it.

I finally recognize my own selection bias, and I’m just now starting to come to my senses. After many years of being secretly envious of my happily married – no, ecstatically married friends, I decided to break down and study their methods so I could achieve the same level of success. After much observation and deliberation, I’ve boiled it down to the top five signs that you should marry her.

I. She knows how to mirror

If you casually approach a young lady in a confident, mysterious, slightly aloof and funny/cocky way, she’ll likely respond in a flirtatious manner since the game brings out the side of her that likes bad boys. Instead, approach her like a gentleman if you want to awaken the sweetheart within her. This works best if she’s 27 or older – especially if her little sister or best friend just got engaged. Most guys aren’t meeting the wrong women; they’re meeting women the wrong way. If you want a kind, sweet, thoughtful woman, simply present yourself as a kind, sweet, thoughtful man and she’ll mirror you since she most likely doesn’t have a personality of her own.

II. She doesn’t jump into bed quickly

After you meet her and give her a nice image to mirror, you’ll find that she won’t jump in to bed with you very quickly. This means she’s not like that anymore and she’d never do that with you. The past is the past, people grow and change, and her reluctance to sleep with you until the eleventh date shows that she’s either made a permanent change or she was never like that to begin with. Either way, you’re dealing with a woman who has a good head on her shoulders. And if she makes casual comments like “I’m not like other girls” or “I’m not a slut” then rest assured you’ve got a keeper. Only marriage-worthy women say things like that.

III. She made good dating choices

A woman who is a prime candidate for marriage has made good dating choices. That means her very short list of ex-boyfriends will read like a who’s who roster of up and coming gentlemen who weren’t good enough for her for one reason or another. But like most things in life, there’s an exception to this rule. She may have a list of bad boy ex-boyfriends a mile long, but even that means she was smart and strong enough to leave dead-end relationships behind after she was tricked into them by lying sack-o-shit players. So either she was smart enough to date a handful of good men, or smart enough to dump a bunch of jerks, or skilled enough to do and learn and grow from both. The end result is that basically all of her dating choices were good since she learned from them. She’s smart and experienced, her experiences made her who she is today, and all her mistakes led her to you.

IV. She says it’s time

If she has successfully mirrored your attitude and shown selectivity by not jumping into bed with you too quickly, and if she has learned from her mistakes (which means they’re not really mistakes at all), you owe it to her to pop the question. Wasting a woman’s time when she’s staring down the barrel of the big three-oh is ungentlemanly, unpatriotic, and anti-Jesus. If she truly loves you with the kind of unending devotion that will last forever, you should put a ring on her finger before her eternal love’s expiration date has been reached. For those of you not familiar with forever’s expiration date, it’s typically the first Valentine’s Day after the 18-month anniversary of your first date. If she says it’s time to settle down, then you should listen to her because she loves you and only wants what’s best for your relationship. Plus, if 18 months of good behavior isn’t worth an $8k ring and lifetime commitment, I don’t know what is. In the words of my recently married best friend, “It’s been a while and she’s getting on my case, so I guess it’s finally time to take the plunge brah.”

V. She is a benevolent dictator

Women have been given the financial incentive and legal authority to end a marriage whether they want that authority and whether they plan to execute that privilege or not. You should propose to a woman who you believe will be benevolent dictator (a woman who will allow you to be a man.)

Do you game your way out of a speeding ticket? Do you game your way to extra paid time off at work?

While game certainly helps, getting off with a warning or getting extra paid time off ultimately depends on the benevolence of the cop or your boss because they’re the deciding authority. The dissolution of marriage is the same, so be sure to choose a woman who is less likely to become unhappy. You can’t alpha your way through anything and sustain it unless she agrees to it, and you can’t lead if she refuses to follow. Tight game and alpha dominance will certainly go a long way to motivating her to be a good partner, but in the end, the final decision is hers and hers alone.

The best way to be reasonably sure she’ll allow you to be a man is to ask her to double-dog pinky swear it. If she says she’ll give you permission to be a man and promises never to rescind that permission by dragging you through divorce and family court, you’re good to go! With a little alpha backbone and tight game, there’s a 50% chance she’ll let you pay for and be the King of the castle to which she holds the deed. Just work out the benevolent dictatorship (a minor detail really) in advance, and enjoy the rest of your life.

Thanks for reading. I’ll be back right after I have my tongue surgically removed from my cheek.

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