Instead of listing the traits, habits and behaviors that successful people have and how to apply them to your life, my objective for this article is to tell you the three divisions of the Matrix you must unplug from to give yourself a better chance for success, happiness, and overall a more fulfilling life. I’ve purposely ordered the divisions in what I feel would be the easiest sequence to unplug from, though you may find your personal order to be different. Let’s begin with the first…

Companionship

art-holmes9-420x0

Companionship, also known as a serious relationship, is by far the most deceitful division of the Matrix (which is also why this section will be the most comprehensive), because while you’re enjoying the euphoric highs and dealing with the typical lows you don’t quite realize what you lost until the ride is over. Understand that it is not my intent to denigrate long-term relationships or marriage. I feel that these two forms of companionship can be very rewarding later on in a man’s life when he is accomplished and mentally ready for either endeavor.

However, you must understand that every man has three banks that he must protect at all cost: The Time Bank, The Money Bank, and The Energy/Desire Bank.  In order to be truly successful and achieve greatness at whatever you strive to accomplish you will more than likely need to devote a significant amount of your time, money, and energy.  The problem is that by being involved in a serious relationship or marriage you have (whether intentionally or not) communicated to your woman that she is numero uno in the hierarchy of important things in your life (otherwise you would have never committed to her exclusively right?).

This is where conflict arises. So you want to create the next social media site to knock Facebook on its ass? Good luck telling your girlfriend/wife you can’t take her to the movies because you have various manuals to read on source coding. So you have expensive computer hardware and software to buy in order to launch you business? Good luck telling her you won’t be financially able to take her on that big trip to Aruba for her birthday like you promised her last year.

Which brings me to the Energy/Desire Bank; do you honestly think that after getting off from your 9-5 and jumping head first into building your side business or pursuing your hobbies that you will have the energy or desire to put up with what will be the constant nagging of your woman? You’re relationship will resemble the movie Groundhog Day with repeated naggings  of “We barely spend time together anymore” and “You haven’t taken me anywhere nice since you’ve been spending all your money on that stupid project” and my favorite “It’s like your mind is always somewhere else when we hangout, you’re not the same guy I fell in love with”.  And guess what gentleman; she’s right. Women aren’t designed or conditioned to play second fiddle to anything let alone the business idea that you’ve been spending so much of your time, money, and energy on to get off the ground. Women just don’t understand sacrifice and will rarely if ever see the big picture.

Understand we are not talking about Lebron’s high school sweetheart that stuck it out with him until his NBA dreams came to fruition. We are talking about regular ole you with ambitions to be the first multi-millionaire in your family. Girlfriends/wives have a hard time picturing “regular ole you” achieving the types of things that only a small percentage of people ever will. Does this mean she doesn’t love you? Of course not. Does this mean she doesn’t believe you have the drive or intelligence to pull it off? Sometimes. But more than anything your girlfriend or wife has been programmed from birth to believe she’s the most important thing on earth and that any man who would put her at number two for “some silly business idea” doesn’t deserve her.

So what happens next? Once she doesn’t “feel the flame anymore,” she will more than likely cheat on you until she figures out that she doesn’t even have to be sneaky about it because you’re so preoccupied with getting your dream off the ground. Soon to follow will be the break up or divorce. Of course you will be devastated, heartbroken, and completely caught off guard. After all, you were working all those sleepless nights and investing your hard earned money not only for yourself but for the manifestation of your dreams that she would also benefit from.

Wouldn’t it just be easier to stay single, sleep around freely, and pursue your dreams without worrying about who you may be neglecting? Many men have found out the hard way that it’s extremely difficult to achieve major accomplishments while carrying the burden of companionship. If you have lofty goals of entrepreneurship, adventure, travel, etc make sure you stay single until you can look yourself in the mirror and feel satisfied with your life accomplishments.  Think of it like sports, you shouldn’t retire until you’ve got some championship rings on your fingers. Ultimately I feel worse for guys that never attempted to follow their dreams and let them dissolve in favor of Companionship.

Consumerism

The second division of the Matrix we must unplug from is consumerism. The dictionary definition of consumerism is a social and economic order and ideology that encourages the acquisition of goods and services in ever-greater amounts. I will expand on that definition with two different forms of consumerism the American man are often victims of.

Goods/Services

As men we are constantly bombarded with advertisements for body washes and shampoos that will make women want to rape us, cars that will instantly make even the lowliest of nerds as cool as Steve McQueen, expensive clothes that will make us resemble models regardless of our beer guts, and expensive bottle service at the hottest club in town that will get the most gorgeous women to flock to us. All of these things are a mere attempt to exploit our inner desire for hot women.

lame 2

The problem with all these products is that they aim to bypass genuine self improvement in favor of a shortcut. Who doesn’t love a good shortcut right? The issue here is that shortcuts more times than not persuade us to spend money we don’t really have to look like something we’re really not. Ask yourself, who’s really winning here in the transaction? The guy who’s going to have to eat Ramen noodles for the next 2 weeks because he spent half his check on bottle service, or the old grey hair out of shape fart leaving the club in a Benz with three hot 24 year olds? It would’ve been much cheaper and rewarding to just buy Roosh’s game guides and develop a strict workout regime.  In due time we will be able to drop a couple grand on bottle service and purchase sports cars without looking at the price tag, but we have to delay gratification long enough to achieve our dreams and ambitions first.

The American society also gets in on the action as well. They call it “The American Dream.” I can’t tell you how many of my buddies successfully unplug from the Companionship Matrix only to fall victim to the Consumerism Matrix and buy some big ass expensive house they didn’t need because society said it was “smarter than renting”. Now they’ve unnecessarily anchored themselves to a city that might not present the best options for their success, along with owning a home that no longer is worth the value they paid for it. What happens next? Since they “feel so lonely” in that big ass house they take ten steps back and voluntarily plug into the Companionship Matrix. They find a spend-happy wife, have kids they aren’t really ready for because “her biological clock was ticking”, and now their flight to success and happiness is permanently grounded.

kim j resize

The reason you can’t let this type of consumerism take control of you is because the money that consumerism coerces you into spending on “meaningless things” is the same capital that you could be using to fuel your dreams and ambitions. Essentially consumerism is a veiled thief, slowly stealing your dreams by giving you a quick dopamine rush.

TV/Media

The things we tend to consume from the media whether it’s online, in a magazine, or on television play a pivotal role in keeping us plugged into the matrix and shaping our ideologies (politics included). Let me preface this by saying that I watch cable television. I have specific shows I tune into every week, and I am a huge lover of sports. The problem I find with most of my colleagues at work is that the majority of their conversations (95%) revolve around “what went down on last night’s episode” of XYZ TV show along with debates about sports teams that get so intense you would think they had a family member that played on the team. I never hear guys talk about what they like to do off the clock, or what projects and hobbies they’re working on.  It appears to me that they’ve traded in what dreams they may have had in order to live vicariously through their favorite actors and athletes.

Though I try to stick to watching shows that have some type of redeeming value in my life; I have my fair share of useless entertainment I consume like everyone else. We must keep this to a minimum. While we may be entertained sitting on our couches staring at the big screen while sipping on a good brew, we are essentially watching people who are being paid to live out their dreams right before our eyes. Do you really want to spend your precious time watching other people being paid to live their dreams, or do you want to go out and get your dreams off the ground?

The Media Matrix (via ET, Access Hollywood, TMZ, etc) has tried to mind-fuck us into believing only athletes and celebrities deserve to live the playboy jet setter lifestyle. This is false. Athletes and celebrities are a drop in the bucket in comparison to the amount of hard working no names living life on their own terms with no limits. We have no limits but the ones we place on ourselves. This division of the Matrix aims to siphon your time by keeping you distracted and unconsciously celebrating the successes of other people as if they were your own.

Corporate America

The third division of Matrix we must unplug from to be truly successful is Corporate America. This topic has been beaten to death to the point that we all should understand the importance of unplugging from the Corporate America Matrix.  Most of us will need Corporate America at some point in our lives because we have bills to pay but to be frank, you company doesn’t give a fuck about you. They don’t care about your dreams, your bills, your pregnant wife, or the new house you just bought.  Corporations exist solely to make the owner(s) and shareholders filthy rich and nothing else. Your company revenue could increase by 1 billion dollars in a year and all they would tell you is “great job guys, but I think if we dig a little deeper this year we can surpass last year’s revenues”. You think they’re going to give you a cut of that big pie you help bake? You think a 3% raise is going to change your life with inflation at 2%?

181424_300659416685528_205204719564332_674279_486576423_n1

Your “REAL JOB” is to fuck your company for the most money you can and leave to pursue you dreams.  Treat your job like a slut that you would discard when she’s no longer bringing you the same pleasure she once did. What about all the great friends I made at my job? Fuck them. I mean that in the most respectful way possible. If your colleagues want to drink the corporate Kool-Aid and build their lives on a shaky foundation, let them. It’s not your job to save the world, save yourself first and they will see the light if they want to.

By no means is everything in this article an absolute for everyone reading it. If you are the exception consider yourself lucky instead of calling me a dick for not considering the outliers. For the rest of us, it should be in our plans to unplug from all three divisions of the Matrix to give ourselves the best shot at a happy and successful life. I understand not everyone reading this article will be in the position to unplug completely, but it is better to unplug from one or two of the three divisions than none at all.  You will be happier and most likely more successful than 95% of your male counterparts who are hopelessly plugged it.

Read More: Life Happens Once You Unplug