A few months ago I was on a mission. It had been a couple of years since my last real vacation outside the United States (in excess of 48 hours, anyway). Being fed up with American women, and all of their annoying horse shit, began to wear me down a bit. I needed to feel invigorated by women again. I was tired of hearing stories about tattoos, and even more tired of looking at them. I was sick of hearing about careers and reality TV. I was sick of how blatantly fake they were. I was even sick of fucking them. A genuine man that’s true to himself doesn’t suffer American women well; I was completely burnt out. Having a casual arrangement with a somewhat Americanized Asian woman, while more fulfilling than your typical American chick, still wasn’t hitting the sweet spot. It was time to mix things up a bit and venture far from home for a little while.
I decided on the Philippines. I’ve been all around this God forsaken planet, seen a ton of cool shit, and slept with some beautiful women. However, I have a soft spot for the Philippines. Why? I don’t know. There are Asian countries with better looking women and better living conditions, but I always have a great time there. This was going to be my third trip. On my first two trips, the focus was on getting laid—a lot. So, that’s what I did—a lot. This time my priorities had shifted. I met and talked with a lot of different Filipina’s on my first two trips, and there are some high quality women there. I wanted to find one of these high quality women for myself and see how things went.
I did an eight week pre-trip seek and destroy mission on a few dating sites. My goal was to find an attractive, respectable, and feminine Filipina between 20-24 years old. It took me eight days of searching to find what I was looking for. She only had one boyfriend in the past and they were together for four years—she had been single for nearly a year and a half when we first began contact with no casual flings or one-night stands during that time period. She spoke excellent English, had a good job, and was well educated. She knew how to cook and liked to clean (yes, she actually enjoyed cleaning). Clearly, this girl would be considered a unicorn if she lived in the U.S.
This article will offer some general guidelines to follow if you decide to go unicorn hunting for yourself in the Philippines. More importantly, it will show you how to avoid the ones that have an empty toilet paper roll duct taped to their foreheads masquerading as unicorns.
1. Look Off The Beaten Path
It’s very easy to go with what you know. When you think of the Philippines, you probably think of Manila, Cebu City, or Davao. When a foreigner thinks of America, they generally think of New York City, Washington DC, or Los Angeles. Now, who here reading this thinks of NYC, DC, or LA when it comes to relationship material women? No one. Those cities are for getting laid (LA and NYC anyway), not finding a prospective long-term partner. Think the same way with the Philippines.
Granted, there are good women in the large popular cities—it’s just a product of the culture there. However, in the more provincial cities or towns, the women will be less exposed to the typical trappings of big city life. In addition, you’ll seem more exotic and unique due to the lack of foreigners visiting the more obscure areas.
2. Pay Attention To Their Profile Pictures
Not just how good they look or their fashion sense. I’m talking about surroundings. The Philippines is a poor country. If a girl’s profile says that she works part-time in a laundry shop, yet her pictures show her sunbathing near opulent swimming pools, posing on beds in five star hotel rooms, or dining in super classy/expensive looking restaurants—then there’s something going on. Who do you think is taking those pictures of her in that bikini at an expensive resort? It ain’t her fucking grand pappy, I can just about promise you that. Someone is paying for all of that shit, and it isn’t her. She could be running around with numerous dudes both foreign and domestic. She may be a prostitute. Hell, swindling foreign men out of money could be her full-time job. This is all a possibility.
There is a chance that the pictures are from a family trip, wedding, or other special occasion. If you really like a particular woman despite her shady photographs, then initiate contact with her. Move quickly and start asking questions about where the pictures were taken and how long ago. Ask about how she traveled there if the pictures weren’t taken in her hometown. Ask if she went with friends, colleagues, or classmates. Interrogate the fuck out of her discretely through the guise of genuine curiosity about the Philippines and the places she visited. If the smell of shit begins to hit your olfactory receptors—then it’s coming from her. If things pass the sniff test initially, bring it up again in the future to make sure details haven’t changed. There are a ton of girls on these sites and there’s no reason to get wrapped up with one that seems sketchy. Think of these pictures in the same way you would a photo of an American girl with duckface holding a cocktail at the club—don’t trust, and damn sure verify.
3. Be Her First Foreigner
Don’t follow up behind other Americans or westerners. If she’s had other western men visit her in the past—even just one—then those men have set the standards in her mind for how foreign men behave, or should behave. Most guys that go to the Philippines to meet a woman are weak and beta. As a means of compensating for their lack of knowledge when dealing with women, they will shower them with gifts, luxuries, and undue praise. Western men do this while allowing these women to get away with shit they would never dream of attempting with Filipino men. Fuck those guys. They’re doing it wrong.
Back in the day, when I was earning my flight instructor’s certificates, we had to learn Thorndike’s Laws of Learning. One of the laws of learning is that of primacy. The law of primacy states the following:
Primacy, the state of being first, often creates a strong, almost unshakable, impression. Things learned first create a strong impression in the mind that is difficult to erase. For the instructor, this means that what is taught must be right the first time. For the student, it means that learning must be right. “Unteaching” wrong first impressions is harder than teaching them right the first time. If, for example, a student learns a faulty technique, the instructor will have a difficult task correcting bad habits and “reteaching” correct ones.
This applies to female behavior just as much as it does to student pilots learning to fly airplanes. Don’t throw on a hardhat and play construction worker in an attempt to rebuild a faulty foundation laid by some other guy. Be the man that sets the standards, not the one that is saddled with the task of rectifying a poorly set precedence. If you find a virgin, which aren’t terribly uncommon, all the better.
4. Beware Of Sob Stories
The average person doesn’t have much money or very many creature comforts in the Philippines. Things we take for granted like central heating and air conditioning, insect-free housing, and even 24 hours a day of electricity aren’t there for many Filipina’s. A good girl isn’t going to cry a river about these things—she’s used to them. She’s used to hardship and struggle. It’s just a part of life for the majority of people living there. If you’re interacting with a Filipina and she starts going on about how she doesn’t have this or she doesn’t have that, then it’s only a matter of time before she starts asking for money.
To put it bluntly: you’re not running a fucking soup kitchen. You’re running a life—your life. That may sound cruel or calloused, but that’s just the way shit goes. If you’re the type of guy that feels the need to be a savior all the time, then you’re going to get taken for one hell of a ride in the Philippines. Friends, family, and the girl in question may attempt to suck you dry, and I’m not talking about your dick either. If a girl asks for money, or if it looks like the discourse between the two of you may head in that direction, cut it off then and there.
I’ve personally never had a woman ask me for money. This is in both online and real life interactions. I set the tone early on that I’m not an ATM machine and the women have always respected that. I suggest you do the same.
Also, this will be speculative on my part, but it’s important to say even if it might offend the delicate sensibilities of some readers: the greater your age difference, the more likely you’ll be asked for money. If you’re a sloppy out of shape 45 year old dude and you’re pursuing hot 18-25 year olds, then don’t be surprised if they don’t “like you for who you are”. Be reasonable with your expectations.
I’ve met a few westerners during my travels in the Philippines who were down and out because the girl they were pursuing was just using them. That’s no way to spend a vacation. Don’t be a fucking dumbass that thinks women will be genuine with their intentions just because you’re white or have a blue passport. It’s completely naïve to think that way, and being naïve in an impoverished third world country is no way to be.
All of this will also tie in with number nine quite nicely.
5. Education Is Not Necessarily A Bad Thing
There are hints of cultural feminism in the Philippines. It’s not intrusive like it is here in the States, but it does exist in small doses. If you do encounter cultural feminism, you can thank American influence through movies, music, and other forms of media. However, feminism in the employment or education spheres is basically nonexistent. There are no enrollment quotas on the basis of being male or female like there are in America. This means girls in the Philippines that go to college or university are actually pretty smart in most cases.
Femininity, humility, and intelligence are pretty damn sexy when intermingled with one another. The quality of spoken English tends to be far superior with an educated woman than with an average girl as well. If you’re the type of guy that gets turned off by educated women in the States (like me), then you can lighten up when dealing with Filipina’s. Even if they’re educated they tend to be very friendly, polite, and ego free.
Bear in mind, education does not necessarily mean significantly better pay. Just because a girl has a degree and a good job doesn’t mean she’s making bank. A girl working at SM Mall makes about 6,000-8,000 pesos a month. A teacher, nurse, or government employee with a degree makes about 10,000-15,000. It’s better for them, of course, but it’s only about an extra 100-200 bucks a month in reality—not life changing money by any means. As a result, you won’t have to deal with any kind of money snobbery.
6. Utilize Technology
Skype, Viber, Snapchat, Yahoo Messenger etc. These are all very important to have at your disposal and they’re all free. This is where you get down to business and really learn about the girl you’re talking to. During the seven weeks I talked to my girl prior to visiting, I had seen, talked to, and knew the names of her entire family, co-workers, roommate, and neighbors. I saw her apartment and the farm she grew up on. I even saw the damn Caribou her father uses to plow his crops.
Skype did that for me. I felt like I pretty much had full disclosure on this girl before we met. Most importantly, I didn’t have to pry and work for any of this. She did it on her own volition. A woman that likes you will want you to know her people and, if she comes from a good family, they will want to know you too. It raises red flags if she’s hiding either people, places, or things from you. This includes wanting to meet you in a city other than where she lives.
7. Test Early And Often
If you think shit-testing is just for women, then you’re dead wrong. Call it “good girl testing” or “true intentions testing”—I don’t care what you call it, but don’t be reticent when it comes to asking about things you want to know or having her do things you want done. I gave the girl I visited a huge shit-test. I told her that I was going to spend three days in Manila before I went to her city, and I didn’t tell her why. She assumed it was because I was going to see other women and fuck them. Well, yeah, if she failed the test that’s exactly what I would have done.
The reason for this shit-test was because at one point in our early conversations, she told me she had some money saved up. So, I wanted to see if she would spend some of that money to meet me in Manila. I told her if she bought her own plane ticket to Manila that she wouldn’t regret the decision. She passed—she bought her own round trip ticket and was waiting for me when my flight arrived.
Understandably, many women aren’t going to have the resources to make that kind of thing happen. Just keep your eyes peeled for opportunities to test, and do so as often as possible. It can be something as simple as having her take several pictures of a hotel, apartment, or pension house you’re thinking of staying at. Put her in motion on your behalf with whatever you see fit. If she’s lazy, complains, or flat-out says no—send her on a long walk down FuckOff Boulevard.
8. Don’t Be Too Much Of An Asshole
I know, you’re probably thinking, “What the fuck AV8R? You made some poor third world girl splurge her savings to buy a plane ticket, and now you’re going to talk about how not to be an asshole?” Correct, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. The reason for not being an asshole is simple: you don’t need to be. Do you need to be masculine, firm, and confident? Yes. Do you need to be the same asshole that American women require you to be? No. You will certainly need to demonstrate leadership qualities and command the relationship. This shouldn’t be difficult because you’re a man and that’s what you’re supposed to do anyway. It’s a common theme around here: feminine women like masculine men. Be masculine in a traditional sense and you can’t lose.
9. Have Experience With Women Before You Go
If you don’t have any experience with women in your own stomping grounds—you’re in a pretty unenviable position. It’s very easy to swear off American women altogether and just say, “Fuck it, I’m done dealing with these hoes”, but you’re doing yourself a major disservice by cutting them off. Look, I’m fully aware of how much the women here suck. Understandably, it’s very easy to view foreign women as your salvation when all you have for comparison are the turds floating around the United States.
The thing is, though, you need a good bullshit detector with all women, and this is no different with women outside American borders. Your bullshit detector is fine-tuned and honed through experience and exposure. There’s no other way to do it. If you live in America, then the only way to really do it is with American women. And Lord knows, American women are more than willing to give you a plate stacked with extra shitty bullshit served with your choice of two sides of bullshit.
Maybe you’re a virgin, recently divorced after a long marriage, or relatively inexperienced in general. If that’s the case, I fear you may be a decent blowjob away from falling in love with some predator that may be looking to take you for all your worth. This can be exacerbated when you’re in a foreign land and everything is new and very interesting to you. You’ll be in full-fledged honeymoon mode with your girl and your surroundings. The conditions in America will seem much worse to you when you’re in the midst of a great vacation and getting sex around the clock with a girl you’re really attracted to. That’s where previous experience comes into play. It will keep you grounded throughout your trip and keep the rose tinted glasses from blocking reality. Logic is your friend, don’t fuck-over your friends.
Look at it this way. You can read about flying airplanes all day long and even consume enough knowledge to talk about it like you know your shit, but I sure as hell wouldn’t want to watch you attempt a landing if you’ve only learned about it through books, websites, and Youtube videos. You need to actually fly to be good at it—no matter how much of a natural you are. The same thing applies to your relationships with women. You can read articles on ROK all damn day, but it doesn’t mean jack shit if it’s all theory and zero implementation.
This is probably the most important item on this list. Take it for what it’s worth.
10. Have A Backup Plan
I definitely had my sights on the girl I visited, but don’t think for a second I didn’t have two other women in both the city she lived in and back in Manila to fall back on if needed. My girl worked half-days when I was there. While she was working, I was in the malls talking and flirting with women. If she slipped up, she would’ve been replaced quicker than a set dead batteries in Lindy West’s vibrator.
Have a plan B (and C) in place before you arrive in the Philippines. That way you won’t waste too much of your valuable time trying to figure something out if things don’t go as planned.
I had a great time during my recent trip. I made a solid decision with the woman I chose to spend my time with and have no regrets. Sex was daily and she proved herself in every way imaginable. I’m not easy to please, and she was probably the most top notch woman I’ve met in my life—seriously. We still communicate every day and I plan on making another trip before the end of the year for round two. Naturally, she was on her absolute best behavior and only time will tell what kind of girl I actually have on my hands. We’ll see how things go, but I’m fairly confident I have a winner. I’m certainly in no rush and marriage is out of the question, but if she lived in the U.S. I could definitely see myself pursuing a committed relationship with her.
Bear in mind, this article is about actually finding a relationship material woman—not about getting laid. If you can fog a mirror, you can get laid in the Philippines. It’s also my opinion that these guidelines can apply for meeting women online in any foreign country, not just the Philippines. Following these guidelines produced very good results for me and I’m convinced they can do the same for you. Stay on your toes, but don’t forget to have a great time too. All of this is intended to make you well-informed, not paranoid.