It seems that not a week goes by without another ’empowered’ feminist writing an article for a mainstream media outlet describing a marathon series of dates she’s been on in the name of self-discovery or journalistic research.
Only last week ROK readers were treated to an account of a Huffington Post blogger milking a parade of ninety-eight beta-trons for drinks, dinner and validation over nine months.
Now it is the turn of Natasha Devon, a UK journalist, who has written a article for the Daily Telegraph about going on sixty dates in a mere six weeks—thus beating her US counterpart’s three dates per week with a stellar ten. The Americans may have outperformed us Brits in the World cup, but at least we can hold our own some areas.
Devon states her reasons for the exercise here:
Eighteen months ago, I was a long-term singleton. I’d decided that my taste in men had become a little too stringent and restrictive (i.e. I always dated the same sort of guy and was left feeling bemused when they kept showing themselves to be scoundrels). So, I was set a challenge by my friends, in hope of changing the status quo – I was to join a dating site and I HAD TO accept every date I was asked on over the next six weeks.
I was unaware of Devon before reading her article, but a quick search of Google images reveals her to be pretty enough but hardly a supermodel. It therefore speaks to the thirstiness of British men (and the paucity of attractive British women) that so many of them wanted to date her in such a short period of time.
With the sixty dates completed, and only one second date arranged (presumably the fifty-nine other hopeful applicants didn’t meet Devon’s rigorous standards), the author wrote up a checklist of Ten Dating Mistakes that Men Always Make for The Telegraph. Perhaps this was a caring act inspired by a deep desire to assist British men in their quests to attain a dime piece similar to herself. Regardless, Devon announced the publication of her article with this somewhat smug Tweet:
The tone of Devon’s piece may be humorous, but it is also offensive to men, casting them as piggish buffoons in need of patronizing female advice. An article of this kind written by a man about women would warrant public outrage—Devon’s was published by a serious British newspaper and praised on Twitter.
So, what are the ten mistakes that Devon has identified through her tireless ‘research’, and is her advice any good? Here is the list, specially annotated by your correspondent for ROK readers. I would never normally recommend taking a woman’s advice on dating, but sometimes it’s worth looking up over the parapet to see what they are thinking. Also, perhaps surprisingly, many of Devon’s points unwittingly endorse red pill thinking. But they hold good for reasons other than those she posits, skewed as her thinking is by her Titanic sense of entitlement.
1. Not Having a Plan
It doesn’t matter how feminist and independent you believe your date to be, we love a man who is good at decision making. Please do not arrange to meet us at the Tube station and then say, “so, where do you fancy going?”
To be fair, this is bang on. You must be decisive at all stages in your interaction with a woman, whether on the approach or three months in. Remember—women experience ‘gina tingles over strong, dominant men, not weak milksops who seek their approval.
Devon recommends saying this:
“I was thinking about going here as I’ve heard it’s great, unless you had somewhere in mind you’d prefer?” This shows you are decisive AND flatters our feminist sensibilities. We will swoon.
She won’t swoon. Don’t do this. Tell her where you are going, then take her by the hand and lead her there. No permission-seeking.
Remember: by her own admission, Devon previously dated (and is therefore attracted to) scoundrels. Always look at a woman’s actions rather than what she says. Be the cad if you want to share her bed.
2. Saying “so why is a beautiful girl like you single?”
Again, this is bang on, but not for the reason that Devon suggests:
It makes us think you’re the sort of bloke who believes the dating game is just one long queue of girls, all of whom are DESPERATE for a boyfriend and are standing in order of physical attractiveness, waiting for the next man to walk past.
In fact, it is a bad thing to say because you are massively putting the girl on a pedestal, which will de-lube her lady-zone quicker than a heatwave in the Sahara. Don’t tell a girl she’s beautiful at all until after you’ve banged her. Period.
3. Admitting you’re nervous.
Devon says this is fine to admit later on, but not on the date itself, as it feels ‘a bit weird.’
This supports manosphere thinking. You are an alpha male—you do not get nervous in the presence of a woman. Chumps take note: women are freaked out by expressions of beta man-boobery. Make sure you are on your A game at all times.
4. Acting like you don’t care.
This is only partly right. Devon says:
Behaving as though we are utterly disposable and as though this is the sort of thing you do every night isn’t very attractive either. Even if you DO go on dates with different women every night, making us feel special, unique and cherished is the cornerstone of every healthy relationship and also, more short term, the non-negotiable key to getting into our knickers
Here Devon conflates women’s dual sexual strategies—alpha fux and beta bux—and erroneously suggests that the same male approach will work in either category. This is not true.
You do of course need to display some basic level of empathy with the woman you are hoping to sleep with, BUT you should massively dial this down if you are after a quick pump-and-dump rather than a ‘healthy relationship’ (an oxymoron if ever there was one).
Here, Devon encourages men to play the provider role. Those who buy into this frame will unwittingly present themselves to the women they date as beta, thus not accessing the quick sex easily afforded to his alpha counterparts. Follow this advice at your peril.
5. Playing with your phone
On the contrary, you should always play with your phone. Reply to texts while you’re with her. Doing so will enshroud you with an aura of disinterest and inaccessibility that will only enhance your attractiveness.
6. Asking a question then looking really disinterested as soon as the answer comes.
This advice is almost the total opposite of what you should do.
Do not ask us something, then glance lazily around (especially not at other girls in the vicinity) as soon as we open our mouths to respond. This is not how a conversation is supposed to go.
Note the somewhat dictatorial tone of that last sentence. Here is a woman determined to to control the frame. Don’t let her. By all means glance around the room while she speaks. Don’t place too much importance on what she says—you’re not a lap dog. The conversation should go precisely how you want it to—not her.
7. Saying ‘tell me something about you no one else knows’.
Fair enough. This is the lame resort of the conversationally-bereft. Read a book, do an improv course, practice making observations and telling stories. Do anything rather than ask such a ballbag-excised women’s magazine excuse for a question.
8. Doing the ‘mid-point date assessment’.
If there is one sentence guaranteed to kill any sort of spark it’s “so, how do you think it’s going?”
No man would ask such a question. You already know the answer—it’s going damn well, because she has the good fortune to be sitting next to you, with your almost undivided attention (aside from your looking around the room and answering texts, that is.).
9. Bad-mouthing other dates you have been on.
Agreed—don’t do this. Not because ‘we’ll then immediately be on our guard, wondering if this date is a future anecdote for another date you might go on.’ Instead, don’t do it because, depending on the anecdote, you are liable to come across as butthurt and not good with women if you talk about a failed former liason.
10. Talking about your ex/Asking about her ex
Devon finishes up with a list of things you should do for happy, sexually-successful dating:
– SMILE! – It doesn’t cost anything and it makes you look sexy.
– Insist on paying – A controversial one, this. We’re always happy to go halves or even to pay for the whole thing BUT if you absolutely insist we’ll assume you’re having deeply loving feelings towards us.
– Walk us to the station/put us in a cab/in some way show that you are bothered about what might befall us during our journey home.
– Text immediately you get in to say what a lovely night you had – Even if it’s a lie. It’s just British good manners.
Don’t do any of these things—except maybe smiling (sparingly). Sadly, with gender-relations being what they are today, paying for dates and otherwise being gentlemanly will put you solidly in the ‘provider’ camp, and you will become the guy she jokes about just prior to going down on her penniless, alpha jerk boyfriend.
Devon’s list is interesting because in places it demonstrates that red pill thinking is correct, and that qualities like dominance, confidence and charisma are the keys to a woman’s intimacy. Nevertheless, the article is offensive in tone as it serves to re-enforce the cultural meme that men are clueless, bumbling simpletons who need to be taught the ways of the world by more emotionally intuitive women.
Flip the script for a moment. Suppose a man wrote an article on the ten most common mistakes women make on dates—being late, texting, dressing poorly, not wearing enough make-up etc. I can’t imagine any mainstream media outlet in the US or the UK publishing such a piece, and even if they did, the feminist backlash across social media would be explosive, with cries of sexism from all quarters.
That the same isn’t true of an article implicitly criticizing men like Devon’s does is a reminder of just how entrenched female superiority is within the Western cultural narrative.
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Read More: 5 Dating Conventions That Women Killed