Self-professed ‘renegade, outlaw . . . [and] international speaker, writer and businesswoman’ Robin Korth has written a blog for the Huffington Post called My ‘Naked’ Truth (12th July). The piece recounts the unfortunate consequences—for Korth—of dating a man she met on the internet who turned out not to be physically attracted to her. In doing so it attempts to shame men by invalidating and ridiculing their natural sexual impulses.
Korth describes herself like this:
I am a 59-year-old woman in great health and in good physical shape. I stand five-feet, nine-inches tall and weigh 135 pounds. I wear a size six in both jeans and panties, and my breasts are nowhere near my navel. In fact, they still struggle to make it full-up in a B-cup bra. My thighs are no longer velvet and my buttocks have dimples. My upper arms wobble a bit and my skin shows the marks of the sun. There is a softness around my waist that is no longer perfectly taut, and the pout of my abdomen attests to a c-section that took its bikini flatness — but gave me a son.
Divorced Korth met Dave, 55, through a dating website. At first, he seemed like a good catch:
Dave was interesting, gentlemanly and bright. He held my hand and toured with me on long bicycle rides. He drove many miles to come to my door. He made meals for us both and ruffled my dog’s happy head.
A decent guy, then, and one who apparently set Korth a tingle, as she states by way of this curiously Victorian construction:
I was enticed and longed for the full knowing of this man.
So far, so good. But:
We planned a weekend together. That’s when things got confusing, unspoken and just-not-quite there. We went to bed in a couple’s way — unclothed and touching — all parts near. Kisses were shared and sleep came in hugs. I attempted more intimacy throughout the weekend and was deterred each time.
Something wasn’t right. When Korth quizzed her would-be lover, his response shocked her:
“Your body is too wrinkly,” he said without a pause. “I have spoiled myself over the years with young woman. I just can’t get excited with you. I love your energy and your laughter. I like your head and your heart. But, I just can’t deal with your body.”
I was stunned. The hurt would come later. I asked him slowly and carefully if he found my body hard to look at. He said yes. “So, this means seeing me naked was troublesome to you?” I asked. He told me he had just looked away. And when the lights were out, he pretended my body was younger — that I was younger. My breath came deep and full as I processed this information. My face blazed as I felt embarrassed and shamed by memories of my easy nakedness with him in days just passed.
We talked for some time more, my head reeling at the content of the conversation. He spoke of special stockings and clothing that would “hide” my years. He blithely told me he loved “little black dresses” and strappy shoes. He said my hair was not long and flowing as he preferred, but that was okay because it was “cool looking.”
In this wonderfully Houellebecqian scene, Dave—presumably an unwitting red-pill man—manages to entirely destroy the no-doubt careful self-image that Korth has constructed for herself in the years since she lost whatever youthful beauty she was blessed with in the first place. This leads her to a near-existential crisis of self-realization.
I am not a young woman anymore.
Followed by self-justification:
As I looked in the mirror — clear-eyed and brave — I claimed every inch of my body with love, honor and deep care. This body is me. She has held my soul and carried my heart for all of my days. Each wrinkle and imperfection is a badge of my living and of my giving of life. With tears in my eyes, I hugged myself close. I said thank you to God for the gift of my body and my life. And I said thank you to a sad man named Dave for reminding me of how precious it all is.
In this passage Korth aligns the depreciation of her body with the trials and tribulations she has suffered, as well as with her achievements—most notably the birth of her children. Fair enough. Every human being’s body is in part a record of the life that they have led.
That doesn’t mean all bodies are sexually attractive, though.
Korth, hurt by Dave’s sexual rejection, in effect argues that he should find her attractive, because her body is that of a real woman who has lived a life filled with experience. The fact that he doesn’t makes him a ‘sad man’, deserving of pity or censure (and pillorying on social media, albeit anonymously, via a Huff-Po article).
But in a way, Korth’s logic is akin to that of the man who thinks that a woman should be attracted to him because he is nice and kind, helps her with stuff and has an interest in the metaphysical poets.
Unfortunately though biology is a cruel mistress — in the real world nice, intelligent men frequently get rejected by hot young women in favour of jerks because these qualities, while laudable, are not in themselves sexually attractive. In the same way, a 59 year old woman may well be incredibly accomplished, but—sorry—she sure as hell isn’t sexy.
Let’s take a leaf out of Dave’s book and be brutally honest for a moment. Men are programmed to desire sex with fertile, healthy young women, because the biological purpose of sex is reproduction. That is the truth of the matter and everyone knows it. No amount of window dressing or pretty lies can get round it.
Now, I haven’t met Robin Korth so I’m not in a position to comment on her attractiveness, but judging by her pictures she looks like a well-maintained, relatively handsome woman. I’m sure that she has for the most part kept her figure. I am certain too that she is intelligent and a savvy businesswoman. But these latter factors are irrelevant to a man’s sexual desire.
Korth is 59. Women are most attractive to men between the ages of 18-28. That mean’s her glory days were over thirty years ago!
Dave’s pronouncements on her looks — while undeniably harsh — reflect what every other normal heterosexual man would have been thinking. Any guy who claims otherwise is either lying, has given up on the chance of intercourse with anyone below the age of thirty, or is seeking to justify his own poor life decisions — say, marrying an older woman — to himself.
The most sexually compelling proposition for any man — regardless of his age — is a young woman at the height of her reproductive prime.
Many manosphere sites refer to a phenomenon called The Wall—that point in a woman’s maturing where the last vestiges of her girlish appeal are lost forever. If you have any doubt that it exists, simply refer to the two pictures of Brigitte Bardot below:
One inspires sexual desire in the average heterosexual male. The other… not so much. I don’t care how much work Bardot has done for animal charities in the last few years—I still wouldn’t want to have sex with her as she looks now.
Physical Desire Cannot Be Negotiated
Korth has forgotten the simple truth that real physical desire cannot be negotiated, for it is a biomechanical response to non-cerebral, sensory stimuli. In men, female beauty is predominant among these. This is just a simple fact.
While I have some sympathy for Korth’s plight, what is inexcusable about her article is that it attempts to shame men by castigating Dave for his very real, very natural desires.
If a man posted an article saying that he believed he was entitled to sex because he was rich, then he would likely be rounded on by feminists across the globe and find himself the subject of a virulent and hateful Twitter campaign.
That Korth is able to make an equivalent pronouncement in her Huffington Post piece is at best wrong, and at worst a not-so subtle attempt to promote feminist ends by ridiculing and undermining men’s natural sexual responses.
Troy Francis is the author of The Seven Laws of Seduction.