How many guys do you know that read pickup or game related material yet don’t do a single approach? How many people do you know that want to be entrepreneurs yet work a regular 9-5 and haven’t even tried to start a side venture? Better yet, how many people do you know who want to lose weight yet still eat Big Macs and Ben & Jerry’s every day?
The one thing that all these people share in common is that they’re living incongruent lives. They aren’t living lives that reflect their values. They aren’t actually doing the thing that they’ve shown clear interest and intent on achieving.
Continuing like this will obviously prevent them from realizing their goals. Worse yet, it will tear them apart inside and lead to further decline across their life. When you decide you’d really like to do something but never even try, this incongruency will eat away at your emotions, will power, and general well being. This happens because you’re being a bitch… and you know it.
I. What do you value?
The first step to living a fulfilling life is identifying your values. This doesn’t mean extremely specific goals like “in 2 years I will have slept with 100 women” or “in 6 months I will have lost 25 pounds”. No, this means picking general overarching themes that will guide your specific actions.
For me this means things like expanding my comfort zone, learning, building a strong and healthy body, creating new things, and enjoying regular sex.
Without identifying themes that you value, how will you ever know what you should spend your time doing?
II. What are you doing about it?
The next logical step is to put your values into practice. There are millions of ways to do this, and all that matters is that you choose a couple. I’ll use my values as an example.
1. Expanding my comfort zone
Aside from taking every new opportunity that presents itself to me, I incorporate this value into my life by simply approaching a few cute girls a day. If I see a girl who strikes me as particularly attractive, I go over and tell her so, and then try and set up a date.
I read books.
3. Building a strong body
Every day I lift weights, ride my bike, or play some basketball.
4. Creating new things
Regardless of what my “real job” happens to be, I should always be pursuing a new mission, whether that’s writing a book, a blog post, or creating a new product.
5. Enjoying regular sex
Luckily step 1 feeds directly into this. I incorporate this value by following up with all my leads from step 1.
III. Now do it every single fucking day
Fuck a todo list. If at the end of the day you can look yourself in the mirror and honestly say that you did X, Y, and Z and that those things are in line with the values you’ve chosen to live by, then you’re golden. You know that you’re being congruent in your beliefs, thoughts, and actions, all of which are moving you in the right direction. Fail to actually do things that reflect your values and you’re just another one of the blind sheep who’s destined to end up miserable.
Read More: How To Grow In Times Of Pain