The Ugly Reality Of Dating Japanese Women

I’ve been on Return of Kings for quite a while, reading and enjoying my fair share of wisdom, sardonic humor, and women bashing. Lots of women bashing. Now I won’t condemn this because I do it too and I understand the frustration. However, I’ve seen way too many men criticize women as a whole but then start praising Eastern Asian women. Some of these countries include Thailand, Singapore, Philippines, etc.

For this article, I will speak only about Japan; having been there myself. Men on this site preach the red pill but forget that it applies to all women, not just women in certain countries. So with that said, it is time I debunk some of these myths and bring you the reality. What I’ve experienced comes from dating Japanese women myself and speaking with foreign men that lives there. I’ve also had conversations with Japanese men as well that were married or dating.

In Japan, there is a huge emphasis on avoiding shame. As a whole, Japanese society stresses the image of something as of utmost importance. This means that the avoidance of responsibility and duplicity could be more prevalent depending on the situation.

On the bright side most of what I will mention below could be fixed by simply making it clear from the beginning what you will and will not tolerate. There are cultural differences here to consider and you need to try extra hard to get the point across. For some men unfortunately, you will encounter the following problems.

1. Docile and submissive? Lol no

Many men are under the assumption that Japanese women are nice, submissive, and obedient. There was a time in Japan where women were expected to behave this way but it is not like that anymore. Japanese women tend to act this way when you are simply dating them. They will cook for you. They will stop by your house to drop off a gift that was bought for you. All will seem nice and well until you put that ring on. When that happens, the act will disappear.

If she seems just like the misguided stereotype that you’ve read about then trust me when I say that she is deceiving you! Trust me on this. You are being lured into a trap and it will come in the form of an “accidental” pregnancy, stalking, and just everything seeming like it’s too good to be true. Do not be deceived. You should be even more alert if she knows that you are wealthy or of high status.

2. No control over finances

In Japan, women tend to manage the money. The husband works many hours a week, gets his paycheck, and comes home only to give all of the money to the wife. This happens even if the wife is not working, which is also common as Japan still has a large portion of married women who are homemakers. When it comes to making financial decisions, is also common for the wife to have the final say. I’m talking about furniture, vacations, transportation, and more. The wife typically makes all of these decisions.

I don’t know about you guys but I have a problem with this. I ran into this problem with an ex of mine. She wanted access to my checking account and began telling me what I should buy with my own money. I told her that I will do what I want with my money and that she has no business asking me about my financial assets. Of course this was a problem so I broke up with her.

3. Extreme passive aggressiveness

Here is a conversation I had with a woman I was dating. I was staying at her house and this was late at night; not too long after we had sex.

Her: I’m hungry. Go to the store and grab me something to eat.

Me: What?

Her: Go to the store and grab me something to eat.

Me: Get something out of the refrigerator. It’s too late and I don’t feel like leaving now.

Her: Fine then. I had a taste for Onigiri [steamed rice balls] which I don’t have here but that is okay. I will just not eat though I am hungry.

I left out the house and never came back. Of course she called multiple times over the next several weeks wondering what happened to me, but I was gone for good. I just cannot stand such blatant and poor attempts to manipulate me. This is all too common in Japan. The people there do their best to avoid conflict. There is a huge emphasis on this and a strong aversion to complaining, even to your loved ones in private. Being seen as a complainer is one of the worse things possible in Japan. No matter how bad things are going for you, suck it up.

A direct consequence of this is the inability to really speak directly and candidly. In Japan, it is nearly impossible to get someone to be forthright about something. You can ask someone something and they will smile and say “maybe” but what they really mean is a big fat NO. This will include your personal relationships when dating so be prepared for a barrage of passive aggressiveness. You thought American women and their shit tests were bad? Ha! You haven’t seen anything yet.

4. Mental health

Something that really needs to be mentioned is that Japan doesn’t really have a mental healthcare industry. Many women are running around there with some serious unchecked mental issues and you would not have the faintest idea at first. Problems such as abuse can be seen as normal and that behavior will be projected towards you. There is also the chance of her pulling off a disappearing act, leaving you wondering what the hell happened.

5. Your children will be taken away from you

This is simple. You marry a Japanese women and then that day comes when you finally go through divorce. Guess what? She will take away the children. You think it’s bad in the USA when women try to get full custody? In Japan, the wife will take them away from you and disappear. In the United States at least some courts treat some men fairly.  Unlike Japan in which the court system won’t even try to help you.

6. Sex will be withheld from you

Another simple thing that needs to be mentioned is that all too often many men get married in Japan and have their first child. Only to see that his wife has stopped having sex with him. Many men on ROK have said this is a deal breaker so nothing more needs to be said on the subject. There is also infidelity to consider. It doesn’t happen as often as countries like Russia, the USA, or the UK, but it still happens more than you think. Many husbands and wives in Japan have their own mistresses and both are aware of it and don’t care. I don’t think I need to explain why. A belief that isn’t totally uncommon in Japan is that paying for sex isn’t considered cheating.

In conclusion

Does any of what I mentioned sound familiar? I hope so because these are exactly the same complaints men on ROK typically have regarding women out here in the West. What needs to be said is that all women behave the same way generally speaking unless the culture checks that behavior. That is it. I ask that you be very careful when dating, no matter where the woman is from.

Read Next: Introduction To Japanese Girls