Why All That Glitters Is Not Gold

I’ve discussed male thirst before and explained why thirsty men are a problem. Today I wish to examine how such thirst can distort male perspective on the reality of maintaining relationships with attractive women.

Marko Jaric is a man who appears to have had a lot going for him. He spent 15 years (1996 – 2011) playing professional basketball, with almost half of those (2002 – 2009) spent in the NBA. It was at this peak of his career that his romantic exploits became the envy of men across the globe. In 2008, Jaric began seriously dating 26 year old Adriana Lima, then a Victoria’s Secret Angel. Lima was herself at the peak of her career – she was one of the world’s most well compensated and well recognized models, and widely considered one of the world’s most beautiful women. They were married in 2009 and she was soon pregnant with her first child (born 2010). A second baby followed in 2012.

Though all seemed well, there was trouble in paradise, and that trouble has come to the fore now:

Former NBA player Marko Jaric and Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima have split after five years of marriage. “After long and careful consideration, we have decided to separate after five years of marriage,” they said in a statement to People. “We are grateful to be the parents of two incredible young daughters that we will continue to co-parent. We would greatly appreciate your respect for our family’s privacy as we begin this delicate next chapter for all members of our family.”

The Serbian media has offered some additional information as to the reasoning for the split:

Brazilian model Adriana Lima has hired a team of lawyers who will divorce her from Serbian basketball player Marko Jaric, because he allegedly cheated on her.

Lima allegedly complained to a friend during filming in Istanbul and the Turkish media immediately carried out this news. It is also said that Adriana is seeking custody of their daughters Valentina and Sijena. She does not want alimony nor the house in which they currently live. “Once I forgave cheating, the second time I will not,” the supermodel supposedly told a friend.

Assuming that Jaric’s infidelity isn’t a fib and had something to do with the split, one can easily predict the response of most men to the news. Most will label Jaric an idiot, and go on to post several photos of Lima (mostly older shots taken several years back when she was at the very peak of her modeling career) before asking “Who would cheat on that?!!!” They will go on to talk about how lucky Jaric was, and how he should have done everything in his power to maintain what he had because that is what they would do if they were in his position. Attractive women are, in their mind, the ultimate prize and they cannot see why any man like Jaric would not work tirelessly and unconditionally to hold onto them. This is only the perspective of a man on the outside looking in, a view that can only be held consistently by men who have not interacted extensively with very attractive women and are a touch starved (read: “thirsty”) for their attention.

Marko Jaric has been married to Adriana Lima for over half a decade now. He’s put two children in her. He’s had intercourse with her hundreds (if not thousands) of times. He’s lived with her for half a decade. He’s seen a personal side of her that none of us have ever seen, and knows things about her that are simply not public knowledge.

If you’re a typical guy, your knowledge of Adriana Lima comes from beautiful photos of her appearances at events or modeling lingerie for Victoria’s Secret. This surface image is all that you have to judge her on. Jaric, meanwhile, has had occasion to know Lima when she’s out of the public eye with her guard down and no need to censor herself or maintain a public image.

Who knows what she’s really like? Who is the real her? Marko Jaric is much more well equipped to answer this question than any of us are. Perhaps she’s a miserable bitch at home. Maybe she’s a cheater herself, but keeps it hidden well. Or maybe she’s not a great mother. Maybe she’s cold in bed and not particularly intimate with him. Maybe she’s just not all that compatible with him on a personal level.

Or maybe she’s a great mother and wife and he’s just a disloyal prick. We don’t know.

When examining relationships involving other men and beautiful women, too many guys let her beauty blind them to objective reality and guide them to a perspective that puts all of the onus on the men in the relationship to do it all, and assumes them to be entirely at fault whenever things go south. They neglect the fact that beautiful women are not perfect (nobody is), and have as many faults as anyone else. Men have become so thirsty for the attention of these women and so utterly supplicant to them that they’ve forgotten that they’re dealing with flawed human beings just like themselves, not divine angels absent human imperfection. This failure to see the humanity of the beautiful women, in turn, hampers the ability of these men to approach them realistically and form sold romantic relationships with them.

We only see Jaric and Lima’s public personas – we don’t know who they actually are. We see Adriana in public, but who is she really? For all we know, she could be an excellent woman who has done absolutely nothing to earn this behavior from Jaric. It is just as likely, however, that her private persona (the one Jaric can see and we cannot) is one that would make us understand why a man like Jaric would give her up. Too many men, blinded by beauty and their own thirst for it, are unwilling to consider this second possibility.

This is why it is important for any red pill male to quench the thirst, ditch the pedestal, recognize female humanity and act accordingly. Don’t let a woman’s beauty and your thirst for it blind you to her faults, or coax you into ignoring them at your own expense. All that glitters is not gold.

Read Next: How Thirsty Men Kill Everyone’s Game