How To Bang A Brazilian Woman In 5 Easy Steps

Of all the women I’ve been with it’s hard to beat the sheer sexiness and beauty of the Brazilians. They’re also super friendly and easy-going, not to mention some of the best lays I’ve had in my life.

They’re not, however, the easiest women to bed because one-night stands are less common when compared with the English-speaking countries and Scandinavia.

Not deterred by a few dates?

If so, here’s how to do it in five easy steps:

1. Book a ticket to Rio de Janeiro

Rio de Janeiro is still the best city in Brazil to have fun with its sexy female residents.  Doesn’t really matter when you come, either — Rio is a hopping place year-round.  And, no, you don’t have to come during Carnival.

2. Go to Lapa on Friday and Saturday night

Grab a cheap beer or caipirinha from the street vendors then warm up by hitting on a few random girls.  I’ve found the crowds before the Arcos (Arches) to be younger and less classy than the crowds after the Arcos (near the traditional Samba clubs such as Carioca da Gema).  On Fridays there’s more of a street-party feel, while on Saturdays people usually head to the clubs.

3. Hunt at the club

My favorite Lapa club is Rio Scenarium, where, unsurprisingly, many of my bangs came from.  I recommend showing up at the line not later than 10:30pm.  In Rio, nightlife begins and ends early because Rio’s residents (Cariocas) are primarily day creatures and would rather enjoy their days tanning at the beaches instead of nursing the previous night’s hangover in bed.  Once inside the club, approach relentlessly.  Brazilian nightlife is all about “hunting” so don’t be shy about approaching and getting rejected quickly.

Brazilian girls kiss quickly so if she’s still there 10-15 minutes into the conversation don’t just stand there — grab and kiss her. If she rejected your kiss attempt, keep hunting — you’ll have better luck seducing the next one than “convincing” her to kiss you again.  Once you get the kiss spend some time with her before getting the number.  Since it’s rare — although not impossible — to bang the girl the very same night, you’ll probably need more face time the next day before sealing the deal.

4. Meet her the next day

Brazil is not America, so don’t wait a week before contacting her. If you got her number on a Friday or Saturday night and the following day is full of sunshine, you can be sure she’s planning to go or is already at the beach.  See if you she’d like to go to the beach, park or walk around the lake (Lagoa).  Meeting her at the beach is also the perfect opportunity to see and feel her body when you’re busy “saving her” from the “deadly waves” near the shore.

5. Transition to a bar and then to your place for the kill

As soon as the sun starts to set, feel her out and see if she’d like to grab a few choppes (draft beers) at a boteco (local bar).  Grabbing a drink at a boteco is a very informal affair so unless she has other plans or doesn’t want to bang you, she’ll readily agree.  My top pick is Devassa in Ipanema or Leblon but any bar is fine.  Create an intimate environment by sitting next to her, touching her and making out.  After an hour or two, ask her if she’d like to come over.  If she doesn’t give a quick no, assume a yes.  Ask for the check and grab the next taxi.  Once at your place, proceed as usual. Didn’t get the bang? Simply repeat step 5 until you do.

Have fun hunting. :hump:

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