Several years ago, prior to my red pill education, I was in a blissfully miserable long term relationship with a girl I had met at college.  Yes, you read that correctly – blissfully miserable.  Meaning that I hated my life with a passion, yet somehow it seemed that this was how it was supposed to be.  I did everything in my power to please her, practically apologized 24 hours a day, and my entire life orbited around her schedule, needs, and desires.  I stayed in this poisonous relationship for nearly two years, as it slowly wore away at my soul.

In my defense, she was hot and on the school’s dance team, so there was some prestige involved in it.  Still, I was a fool.

Why did I take so long to get out of that relationship?  I am fairly confident it was because of a combination of things – sitcoms, seeing my family’s relationships, and the general rule of American households that a happy wife, girlfriend, or significant other results in a happy life.  This gave me the impression that I should do everything in my power to please her, which only worsened things.

Eventually, I did get out of that relationship, and after having a few weeks of mourning, I moved on relatively quickly and was instantly happier.  It felt like the burden of the world had been lifted off of my shoulders.  Then I started finding sites like ROK, and the rest is history.  Now, I feel an obligation to pass my knowledge on.

If your long term relationship begins to start exhibiting the following signs of poison, get out.

You Dread Time With Your Friends

Keeping up separate social circles is a key part of a healthy long term relationship.  Nobody likes two people who are stuck to each other like glue, and usually those two people grow to resent each other.  So, why would you dread time with your friends?

In my case, it was because my girlfriend guilt-tripped me and generally made me feel like shit whenever I wasn’t spending time with her.  A girl who is so dependent that she can’t stand the thought of you spending time with anyone else (male or female) without her being there is someone who will wear down on you very quickly.  Needless to say, you can’t bring her along every time to hang out with your group of friends, as your buddies will come to hate her even more than they already do.

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The Sex Stops

This one is obviously easy to spot, and will happen gradually.  A headache here, a stomachache there, and all of a sudden you’re left with your hand every night.  A girl who no longer craves your meat pounding her silly is a woman who has one foot out the door.  As soon as she starts denying sex, or even worse – using it as a weapon – is the moment your relationship is doomed.  Continue down the path of the relationship if you wish, but realize that there is a good chance you’re going to end up like a dog begging for scraps at the dinner table – like me.

In the case of my relationship, I went the last eight months of that relationship without getting my penis touched once.  So much for not fapping.  On top of that, we lived together in the same apartment for three of those months, and the other five we regularly spent five nights a week in the same bed.  Sometimes, she would put little stars on my calendar for nights that she agreed to get intimate with me, but then, when sexy time rolled around, she would rescind that offer, usually because she had a headache.  Shocking.

You Apologize More Than She Does

Girls are irrational, live-in-the-moment creatures who will start nuclear explosions within your relationship out of nothing.  Half the time, I don’t even think they realize what they’re doing.  Therefore, she should be doing the majority of the apologizing in the relationship.  Under no circumstance should you apologize to sooth things over, which is always what I did.  A typical conversation would go like this:

Me: “What’s wrong?  You’re in a bad mood I can tell.”

Girlfriend: “Nothing, wow.”

Me: “Okay baby I’m sorry.”

Girlfriend: “Leave me alone.”

Me: “Okay sorry again.”

You should only apologize if you are truly wrong and can admit your mistake, and then apologize once.  After that, the discussion is over.

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She Asks Permission To Cheat On You

Girlfriend: “So…I’m feeling kind of distant from you lately.  There is this guy at work who likes me.  Do you mind if I like…hook up with him?  To see if it will rekindle our spark?”

I’m not proud of it, but I told her to go ahead, but warned her I might not be around after.  I also told her not to talk to me until after.  She went over there, and nothing happened (supposedly).  She showed up in tears and said she was sorry.  I forgave her at the time and things resumed as normal, but the relationship only lasted another month, fortunately.

Thankfully, I figured out game, and eventually decided to give the relationship thing another go. This time around, I’ve noticed the exact opposite of many of these things – she doesn’t care about me hanging out with friends, I can hardly keep up with her sex drive, she apologizes more often than I do, and she worries far more that I’d cheat on her than vice versa.  She tells me all the time that she is truly happy, and I can see it in her eyes.

I look back at my last relationship and can laugh at it now, as it has been a couple of years.   However, I’ll be honest – writing and editing this article made me feel sick to my stomach.

Just for kicks, tonight I’m going to tell my girlfriend we can’t have sex because I have a stomachache.

Read More: 8 Signs She’s A Keeper