I am relatively close to one of my distant female cousins. She is what I would coin a “decent catch,” in that she is attractive, a rejector of feminism and is at least somewhat understanding of our ways (she agrees that women are better off feminine and being the submissive ones in the relationship). In other ways, she is highly judgmental of my preferences in women (youth and bisexuality to name a few).
But all of that is irrelevant because her thoughts and what type of girl she is does not matter as much as the abstract situation discussed here. Tonight I am meeting her “serious” boyfriend for the first time, the type of boyfriend she only introduces if marriage is potentially on her mind. This will be the third meet-and-greet of this kind.
The first guy was what we now term to be a beta. The type that would send her unsolicited flowers, write songs and poems, all of that rom-com shit. Truthfully, he was a very nice guy and likely would never cheat on my cousin, and showered her with endless love and attention.
The second guy was the overcompensating alpha. The first night I met him at dinner, he berated the wait staff at a restaurant for trivial things to show off how “cool” he was. Meanwhile, this guy lived at home with his family and could not participate in substantial conversations due to a lacking intellect.
The third guy I meet tonight. And it got me thinking if this was my actual daughter… what type of guy would I want her to marry?
The Standard Beta
Initial reaction is to say I want my potential daughter to marry an absolute and complete softie of a guy. Why? Because I know how I and others like myself think. When I see a girl, my first thought goes to fucking her, and fucking her as hard and as quickly as possible. Is this really the type of guy I want pursuing my daughter?
I want her to have the guy that will never cheat on her. That will accompany her to all her inevitable brunch parties and not complain. That will bring her flowers unsolicited. That will ask her what she wants for dinner, only to supplement that with watching whatever movie she put in their joint Netflix queue. To quote one of the better movies regarding male-female dynamics, I want him “to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone’s *really* hoping makes it happen.”
But is that the appropriate metric? Specifically, hoping for a guy that would moreso put my mind at ease as a father, as opposed to taking into account my daughter’s best interests.
What Makes Her Happy
To answer my rhetorical question above, it is not the appropriate metric. Rather it is what actually will make her happy.
If you are still plugged in to the matrix, you will adamantly argue that the Standard Beta described above is what will make her happy. And that may be true for a few select girls. But as we here at ROK know, and you readers hopefully agree, that is far from what makes a quality girl actually happy.
More likely than not, a variation of ourselves will be what brings true happiness to your actual, theoretical or eventual daughters. Read any number of evolutionary psychology and biology books and they will agree – the masculine, dominant man is the type who gives the feminine woman what she wants, needs, and desires. Not the bozo that agrees with all her requests and opinions and assumes the little spoon position under the snuggie as they watch Bravo together.
I don’t have a daughter and, frankly, at least as of now hope that I never will. So I can’t say that if I reach that moment, I will be rooting for some 100+ notch count alpha to be the one that marries her… knowing his mind is filled with memories of depraved sex acts one of which consists of my little girl. But I also know that I don’t want my daughter to be in a loveless marriage leading to an eventual divorce and romps with the gardeners.
This is a question I hope I never have to answer.
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