It’s a well-worn cliché that travel provides a cornerstone for masculine development. This blog’s creator and many other like-minded quality writers have shown us that getting out of one’s comfort zone is a necessity for a man to grow into himself. There is a reason that ROK’s travel archive is bursting with stories of picking up girls in Brazil, language study and culture shock in Eastern Europe, and why every man should go on a pilgrimage. We learn from putting ourselves in unfamiliar situations so that we can be better equipped for our lives.
In contrast to this purpose, I’ve noticed a growing issue in modern western dating culture—the rise of “travel bug” females who fetishize the stamping of their passports over any type of sustained self-development. From the “let’s sit at a tropical resort” tedium to the backpack-across-Europe-and-get-drunk-in-hostels phenomenon of rich white twentysomethings, I’ve reluctantly come to the conclusion that traveling rarely makes a female any more interesting or desirable. This is why:
1. There is no struggle
When a man travels (on a non-prepackaged deal or tour), he has to earn every bit of his enjoyment. Just for basic living purposes, a man is forced to navigate a place amidst a foreign tongue, figure out the local cuisine, and learn which areas he can and cannot go at night. This says nothing of the steps necessary for ensuring a fun trip, including maximizing the logistics of his living arrangements, finding the best nightlife spots, forming relationships with locals, and figuring out how to attract the country’s women. It is in these moments of uncertainty and occasional struggle that character and self-knowledge is forged.
Girls know little of that—people will bend over backwards to help a young American female because they know she is, in all likelihood, in their country to get drunk and find a mysterious foreigner for anonymous EatPrayLove sexcapades. The locals will put on their best attempts to speak English, buy them drinks, show them around the city, and protect them from interlopers. The increased risk of “danger” to females while traveling is often mitigated by staying in close-knit groups of fellow travelers, which does promote safety but retards the rate at which learning and self-development can occur.
2. It doesn’t lead to any deeper understanding of the world
Most girls travel to “YOLO.” We men are certainly guilty of traveling partially to fulfill our carnal desires, but it’s obvious that the best travel bloggers have gotten far more out of their adventures than simple sex stories. Men use travel to develop an understanding of human nature and contrast the lifestyles and traditions of other cultures with their own. Often they find foreign lifestyles and ideals to be superior to their own, leading to an important questioning of one’s worldview. Have you ever heard a woman wax philosophical about the superiority of lifestyle in another country? This type of self-reflection rarely occurs, and when it does, it is cut short by the realization that they have it much easier at home, where feminism gives them myriad rights and few of the responsibilities bestowed upon women in other cultures.
3. The Pokemon mentality
I’ve heard countless stories of girls collecting stamps on their passports, traveling several different countries over the course of a short time. What’s the point of this type of scattershot journey? Much like the interest in possessing the newest iPhone, handbag or, BMW, having the fullest passport is the newest status symbol among educated upper middle class Anglophones. It provides a “Well, when I was in…” conversation piece that they can use to dominate a conversation and show their worldliness. In the worst cases, they think “catching them all” makes them more experienced in life, often to the point of talking down to those who actually have a much better depth of understanding from their travels.
I’ve been on many dates with girls that have traveled far more than I have, yet most of their stories revolve around getting drunk in bars with other English speakers or taking pictures of their meals at expensive, tourist-focused restaurants. Relatively few have taken time to learn a foreign language on their own, formed lasting relationships with locals, or push themselves from their comfort zone to solve problems while abroad. Though your initial instinct may be to respect a woman as more worldly and educated due to a well-traveled past, I would caution against it. Often, it is the very opposite.