If there is one thing everyone needs it’s shelter, or at least a place with a roof where you can have lots of sex. Either way, many people shell out premium dollars on rent or mortgages, as well as utility costs. This results in many young men slaving their entire lives away to get a massive paycheck, only to end up with less than the crackwhore down the street sucking dick for rocks. So how do you get out of this crappy trend? Simple, build an earthship.

No, I’m not a delusional hippie, nor am I a survivor of a third world country. I have just realized through all the massive work I do to collect a paycheck, I usually spend most of it towards having a place to live. And while I value the importance of having a bachelor pad, I simply do not value the fact that my wallet is usually pretty light. Luckily one day I stumbled upon a post regarding earthships, which is what pegged my interest and research into the subject.

So what is an “earthship?” It’s basically just an eco-friendly home primarily built out of dirt, cement, and trash that allows you to be self reliant in terms of electricity and water. On the outside, your home will be… unique, but on the inside, it’ll look basically like any other home—or way better, depending on how much effort you put into it. Plus, you literally can build a castle from trash, and then proclaim that you are saving the world.

With a bathroom like that, your biggest problem might be keeping women from staying over.

The downside to an earthship is that your neighbors and women may initially think you’re weird. The upside is if the “going green” trend continues to be popular you will look like a genius, and people will envy you. Plus you’ll save a pretty significant amount of money by cutting utility bills down to internet and maybe satellite depending on your preferences.

The basics of the home include a battery room, which is hooked up to a solar panel roof to provide you with electricity. The electricity isn’t limited either, in fact you’ll probably be able to store more than you can ever use, unless of course the sun burns out, and then who cares. Temperature for the house is regulated through blinds and the opening and closing of windows thanks to its greenhouse design. Additionally,  any water you need is collected through rain or snow, stored in a well, and filtered and processed in your home. This means fresh drinking water, plenty of shower water, and of course a proper working septic system. If you want specifics you can either Google it, or watch the entire documentary (which I recommend) on YouTube. It’s called Garbage Warrior.

 The TV could be larger, but you get the idea.

The cost for an earthship is said to be similar to that of a conventional home mortgage, however upkeep is obviously drastically reduced by the simplicity of the home design, and like previously mentioned, you will have no utility bills. You’ll also have a completely different home than your neighbors, or any other guy any woman has ever met, which may allow you to stand out. Plus it’s your own home, bachelor pad for a king; and you can always use the “I’m saving the world” card. This means a lot more bangs.

Earthships might not be for everyone, but for those willing to venture into trying them, the benefits can be massive. Personally I’d like to build one myself someday as the positives seem to drastically outweigh the negatives. You basically get a cool looking house, more women, and more money in your pocket. Seriously, who doesn’t want that?

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