When you walk into the department store, the salesman is overly friendly and eager to assist you. No one is really that nice, so it soon becomes obvious he is an act: he just wants your money. You see through him, sensibly wary of his tedious charade.
It is otherwise with women. Their essential falseness is by no means obvious to men, as women are preternatural masters of dissimulation. Women themselves know their true nature, of course, and that is precisely why, deep down, so many of them cannot stand other women. The hatred women have for one another isn’t just about competition: they also know very well just how worthy of contempt—how utterly fake and untrustworthy—their fellow women are. Hence the common female preference for the company of man, that much more straightforward and honest creature.
Men generally know where they stand with regard to their fellow men. Because of the superior power we exercise in the world and our physical strength, we are naturally more assertive than women, less inclined to conceal who we are. Yet most men never notice that it serves the interests of women to be such adroit actresses. So most of us never realize just how cunning and manipulative women are, or how little sense of duty they feel when it comes to something like keeping their word, or how easily personal responsibility and moral agency are shoved aside by their knack for rationalizing things (that is, basically lying to themselves and others), which is surely one of nature’s most vicious adaptations.
In contrast to most men, the player is characterized by his knowledge of certain dark truths about women, truths that are borne out by a massive amount of experience. These truths lead him to do the opposite of what most men do. His reward is incomparable success, a variety and frequency of lays which non-players cannot enjoy.
Now one of the most important of these truths is the necessity of running contrary game, so effective in our perverse time. By “contrary game” I mean what is contrary to what most men do and also what is contrary to reason and to what women say. To understand just why contrary game is both necessary and effective, consider the nature of desire itself. This is easy enough to do. A little self-examination demonstrates what philosophers have always insisted: that desire is a kind of absence or longing which compels us to pursue, again and again, whatever will gratify it. It is not our natural or primary state to be gratified. The opposite is true, with the result that so much of life consists in trying to pursue the objects of our desire.
Contrary game is so effective because it is consistent with the nature of desire itself. While most men, wanting to get laid, make their interest in women clear, and go out of their way to do things for them, hoping to win them over, the player makes himself emotionally distant from women, and is hardly inclined to give them a free ride. He is cool and fun to be around, but he never acts as if he needs them. The psychological effect of this is to make women crave this elusive man, this very rare type who doesn’t seem “needy” or “clingy,” adjectives that, in our debased time, are synonymous with “kind” and “decent.”
The best sort of contrary game is simply not being a “nice guy.” Specifically, not giving compliments, not offering to pay, not calling the next day, or often, not asking if she got in OK, not getting her gifts—in short, not doing virtually anything that could represent an interest in women besides sex.
For the player understands that, despite what they say, women don’t really want a nice guy. By “nice,” women actually mean two things: a man who is friendly, polite and agreeable, or in other words, not a social retard; and one who will spend money on them, realizing their sense of entitlement. But the trouble with the nice guy is that he makes himself readily available, while desire itself is a kind of endless pursuit. To have tremendous success with women, you must make them like the vexed rabbit in the cartoon, your carrot ever dangling coldly in front of them.
So, women want what they don’t have. A related truth is this: that once they have it, they often don’t want it anymore—and this too is consistent with the nature of desire: fickle, fleeting, insatiable, and delusive. I myself learned both truths the hard way. Up until around twenty-seven, I was the classic nice guy with women. I wanted sex, and at times, companionship and emotional intimacy. To my rational mind, it seemed that treating women well—being kind and doing things for them—would lead to success. I wanted to have good experiences with them, so wouldn’t it stand to reason that I should be good to them?
NO! Reason is irrelevant here, and again, by being a nice guy, I gave women nothing to pursue: it was like walking into the casino and winning a big hand in minutes—where was the fun in hanging out to play for the night?
The principal business between men and women always was sex, it still is, and it always will be. Therefore, as a man your main goal in regard to women should be to turn them on. That is accomplished not by being nice, but by being very good at something, and by being confident, witty and charming. Of course, good looks help quite a lot too, but ultimately power and game are supreme.
Don’t be deceived
In running contrary game, it is important to stay firm and not be fooled by the occasional woman you meet who seems like a sweetheart, or exception to the general run of cunts and vampires. Years after I understood that women don’t really want a nice guy, I’d still allow myself to be fairly emotionally available to (some) women. I’d meet a woman and be rather distant in the beginning. But then, after she had been very sweet—having opened up, understand, because of my distance—I’d give in and start saying things like “looking forward to seeing you” and even doing things for her. But quite often, after just a few months (in many cases, weeks) the sweetheart would reveal her true nature: she’d turn ice cold, deeply ungrateful and disloyal, so out for herself as to have no regard for a man who’d been only good to her.
So these days I keep up an air of aloofness. The results are illuminating. At 33, I can get almost as much tail as I did at 23, even though I looked better ten years ago. This approach works because besides giving women something to pursue, and thus keeping the engine of desire chugging, I stand in contrast to most men, who are forever coming off as oh so nice and at the service of women. Women receive an overwhelming amount of attention from such beta men, so the rare aloof type seems downright exotic—and therefore very interesting—by comparison. Further, we live in very bad times, and while to a rational mind treating women well may seem only reasonable, to beautiful 21st century vampires you are likely to seem week, needy, clingy, etc.
Contrary game overlaps well with asshole game. In both, you are doing the opposite of what most men do and of what women say they want. I would recommend working in a little asshole game (being rude, flaking, using subtle put downs, etc.) with your general contrary approach. Asshole game must be used sparingly, however. Women have so many options today, and are such entitled princesses, that though assholes may be a turn on, there is still only so much asshole behavior they will take. Remember, “she is not gonna settle” and “she deserves better.”
Fortunately, contrary game is not necessary with all women; for the most part, it is to be used in the rotten Anglo world. There are many women abroad, and foreigners in the English-speaking world, who will not burn you for treating them well. Similarly, these women—who really are women—play a lot fewer games, and don’t hold back their feelings like the soulless players known as American women, for example.
Read Next: Passive Game vs. Active Game