As men take the red pill, and begin to learn game, most go through several road bumps on their path from basement-dwelling nerd to panty-moistening Lothario. It is certainly not an overnight process to become one.
From my own experience, and reading the stories of others, most men have issues even talking to girls – whether it be day game or night game. There is a period when one must endure mostly, if not outright, rejection. If the man survives this time, he eventually moves into the realm of having more substantial conversations when talking to women. While maybe those conversations go somewhere, most are dead leads.
Eventually, the man starts to generate real leads and gets legitimate phone numbers. Some of the women text back, some don’t. However, if a man can persevere through learning to approach, leading a conversation, and number closing, he will eventually start to get some good leads with girls that are willing to go on a date with him. Then, the next bump in the road hits.
The flake is simply another tool in a woman’s arsenal to get the validation she craves from men without having to give anything in return. Much like American courtship in general, the phrase “give and take” simply does not apply – with the female taking 100% of the benefits and giving 0% of them in return to the male suitor.
Recently I wrote an article on my personal blog about how a woman’s own sexual marketplace value is directly dictated by her ability to get a man.
In the animal kingdom that we live in, status is king. The value of the man she obtains directly impacts the female, and dictates her own worth in society. Naturally, everyone wants to be at the top of the hierarchy, looking down upon everyone else. Females are naturally incredibly competitive creatures, especially amongst themselves. They want to show off, stab each other in the back for personal gain, and be more valuable to male’s than all of their friends. This is exactly why you see the hot chicks with ugly friends.
A woman’s sexual value will directly impact her self esteem. When a woman flakes, she was essentially using the man as a way to prop up her value, or at least confirm it to her inner self. If you think about it, it actually makes good sense. A woman is able to keep her value, therefore, her self esteem stays high. It is a vicious cycle in which thirsty men are feeding into it. This creates an epidemic – a disease spreading far and wide with no real cure.
Actually though, there is a cure. And it’s quite simple.
Men, play the field and flake back.
To combat flaking, you simply cannot care. While you might not get your notch, perhaps the next guy to come across a girl will not have to deal with her flaking on him. Flaking is so bad, that it’s not uncommon for seasoned players to set up 2-3 dates within a few hours of each other, so that if one falls through, you have someone to fall back on. This promotes outcome independence, which is catnip for a woman.
When I was dating consistently, if I planned a date for a Saturday, I would set up no less than two dates. I noticed that the flakes became less, simply because when I was making these plans, I came across as not giving a shit – because I didn’t. Why would I, knowing that I would be seeing a minimum of two different girls that day? It never occurred to them to flake on me because they could sense I wouldn’t care. Therefore, the entire self-esteem boost I talked about earlier is essentially taken away from them. Without “getting” 100% of the benefits (my attention), the desire to flake dropped significantly.
Granted, there are many other ways to combat flaking – if you poke around sites like this and the manosphere in general, you will find enough content written on flakes to make your eyes bleed. However, the key to remember is this: whoever cares less in a relationship has all the power.
The lesson is, then, to care less than she does. Setting up multiple dates is an easy way to accomplish just that. Plus, if you get laid on the first date and reek of sex on the second, it is completely in your advantage. The second girl will smell another woman on you, and she will be putty in your hands, waiting to spread her legs for you. Yup, welcome to American dating.