Dear Beyoncé,

In the past few years, feminists have been following you and analyzing your every action like paparazzi. When you dance in a sexual manner and dress accordingly, they whine that you objectify women and aggravate their sexualisation. When you sing about love and relationships like a lady, they criticize you for not being assertive enough. When you marry a rich successful rapper, they accuse you of being a bottom bitch. Some feminists even attempt to hijack you for their own political agenda, and it seems everything you do will displease a feminist one way or another.

But it’s time to end this obvious senseless debate once and for all. You need to speak up. You’re everything but a feminist. Your personal life and your personal choices attest to that.

Career

You didn’t become a highly successful singer by being independent. The key to your success was instead support from your family. You had and still have your mother at your side at all times to support you emotionally and protect you. She follows you everywhere as much she can, even on interviews. When stress was high, you had her shoulder to lean on. In addition, you had your father as your manager for an important part of your career to take care of your business, give you guidance and structure. He pushed you to work hard, was strict and gave you discipline.

Where other artists have collapsed under the pressure of spectacular stardom, you have survived the hassle of fame gracefully. Your talent alone can’t be the explanation for that, since many others have talent. What differentiates you from them is your mental stability that stems from the constant support of a strong family structure, as you often stated. If you browse feminist literature, you will have a hard time finding books titled “The Key To Independence Is Staying Close To Your Family.”

Love life

You didn’t attract and kept one of the greatest rappers of all time by being a sexually liberated woman in your adolescence. Jay-Z doesn’t put a ring on hoes. You were coy and selective with the guys with which you had sex, if any. You didn’t sleep around and seek sexual pleasure at the cost of self respect like feminists advocate doing. Instead, you were sexually conservative. Your father was strict and wouldn’t let boys be alone with you in your bedroom. You probably had to hold hands for a long period of time in your life.

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Had you made this pose at home, your dad would have spanked you so hard your ass would be flat today

Feminists love to say that you own your sexuality. They like to think you go around being your stage persona in your real life by being wild, flirting with men, submitting men, licking your finger, etc. But your public image of a liberated sexual fiend is just that, an image. It’s not your real life and it doesn’t represent who you really are. This persona is an artful performance, just like an actress who plays a role. While your stage act could be a manifestation of your wilder side, this wilder side is tamed and under control in your real life, perhaps reserved only for intimacy with your husband.

Indeed, you didn’t build a successful marriage by being sassy and by back talking to your man. Your husband, a famous successful billionaire, had the pick of any woman in the world. What truly differentiates you from most other women is your feminine attributes. You learned to be a good wife who is kind and supportive of her husband, just like your mother was to your father for a long time. While the media has made laughable attempts at portraying you as a bossy woman by nit-picking certain video clips, your success with relationships stems from being polite, considerate, humble and respectful of others. When is the last time a feminist wrote a piece about humility and respect?

Faith

You didn’t stay positive during tough times by rejecting faith like most feminists do.  Your mother did her best to bring you to church every week and you developed the habit of praying. You still pray before most of your shows. Part of your balance comes from being able to let go of rationality at the appropriate moments. It also gave you hope during those times where you were under great pressure.

Being part of a religious community also taught you to share and give back to the people. You used to say always keep god first, and claimed that it was an important part of your life. Feminists have viciously attacked religion in the past decades and would hardly qualify as faithful God followers.

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Beyoncé giving an oral Polio pill to a child in Africa

You’re not a feminist

Your constant success in your career and personal life cannot be attributed to a feminist upbringing in any way. You did not succeed like a feminist would, but like a woman would: with family support, with a strict conservative education and religious background. You need to be proud of your roots and not be afraid of representing your way of life.

You need to stop being intimidated by feminists who use “being offended” and “being outraged” as a tool to bully you and others they disapprove of. To those millions of little girls who look up to you as their goddess and role model on how to be a successful woman, the truth has to be told. You need to tell them clearly and directly that you’re not a feminist and that you don’t believe in feminism.

Indeed, what you teach to the next generation of girls has an important impact. You can tell them typical unproven dogmas like be independent, experiment with sex as much as you want, be sassy, argue with your man whom you don’t need anyway and abandon faith; or you can tell them the truth. That Sasha Fierce is not a realistic approach to life, that she exists mostly for the shows. That Girls Run The World is a fantasy, and 1+1=2 is a lot closer to reality.

Read More: Open Letter To American Fathers