Masculinity gentleman's club

February 23rd, 2014

Men Need A Return Of The Male-Only Gentleman’s Club

By

“More war stories?” Ellen asked me that night. She was in bed with Philip Marlowe, the only lover she had ever taken.

“There was a war story or two,” I said, hanging up my overcoat. “Mostly I sat and read a book.”

“When you weren’t oinking.”

“Yes, that’s right. When I wasn’t oinking.”

From Stephen King’s ”The Breathing Method”

cuddling couple

One of the most pernicious effects feminism has had on society has been the acceptance of “togetherness” for men and women. We are expected to go to the same schools, work at the same jobs and then come home to each other. This is extraordinarily draining for both sexes, as sex roles aren’t just for efficiency, but because they prevent men and women from getting absolutely sick of one another.

Early feminists were shocked and mortified that lower-class women were fine with traditional sex roles and many were fans of the practice. What these feminists didn’t understand is that men and women don’t spend all that much time with one another in such systems, so when they do it is refreshing. Men and women appreciate each other’s male or female idiosyncrasies. Sex occurs more often and is much more passionate and satisfying.

Contrast that approach to modern sex relations. Men and women have — at least — a low level of hostility and resentment to the opposite sex. Many men and women have a simmering level of anger at each other. This is direct result of both sexes being trained to be disappointments to one another. Men with no true sense of self, lacking positive masculinity and passive. Women rightfully are upset that men are not men any more. As for women, they are hyper-aggressive, mannish and place a ridiculous emphasis on a “career” and “educational accomplishments.” Men are justifiably disappointed that women are no longer the happy, breezy ladies of yesteryear.

While socialization is supremely important here, what is also of critical importance are temporal issues. Men and women are just damn tired of spending so much time around one another. Homosexuals be damned, heterosexuals simply and want and crave space where we can let down our hair without the prying eyes of the opposite sex observing us.

Feminism has played a major role in this social degeneration. Painting institutions as inherently sexist and chauvinistic (oink, oink) that expressly excludes one sex is a preposterous and destructive train of thought. Note that this rhetoric doesn’t apply against women. Feminists, as women, implicitly understand women need spaces where they can relax without men around and discuss issues, their feelings or whatever they feel they don’t want to discuss with men. There is nothing wrong with women-only spaces. Women should and need to be afforded spaces where men are not allowed so women aren’t driven crazy by having to censor themselves around men. The same applies for men.

london gentleman's clubs

Historically, for men, male-only spaces have been bars and gentleman’s clubs. Bars, of course, have been turned into a sex-neutral spaces. In the past, men could gather at local watering holes after work and shoot the shit about the monotony and banality of work. They could wax on about the state of their marriage and their relationship with their kids. With the easy lubrication of alcohol, men were able to process and digest their lives. Once women demanded access to these spaces and sexualized them, it drained bars of their ability to provide a reliable outlet for men to both talk about and drown their personal concerns over and in a cup of cheap beer.

As far as gentleman’s clubs are concerned, they have historical relevance. Gentleman’s clubs have, traditionally, been for upper-class men. Apparently, through the 1800′s, gentleman’s clubs became more mainstream, as middle-class men formed gentleman’s clubs. These sorts of clubs, as their popularity expanded, started to revolve around ideological concerns and collective interests. Much like Roosh’s forum, clubs developed a distinct identity and ideological posture. At their height, men would gather to talk about the issues of the day, drink quality liquor and engage in typical male behavior. Men would play cards, discuss books and sip whiskey in the flickering light of a fireplace. They would often play billiards, debate politics and discuss the their wives and children.

The demise of gentleman’s clubs mirrors the expansion of the middle class in America. Just when men needed such an outlet in their lives, they had these clubs swept out from under their feet by suspicious females. It must be said that the gentleman club culture was never as strong in America as it was in Europe, but middle-class men enjoyed the atmosphere of these sorts of clubs in urban areas before WW2. Still, gentleman’s clubs were an important facet of the growing professional class of men. Women, essentially, not only hurt men but hurt their families by demanding “togetherness” that drove men and women apart. It is insanity, and completely on purpose. The gnawing, growing discontent of women in society led them to subconsciously expect men to meet unattainable standards for “love.” What was once providing a solid paycheck, going to mass on Sunday morning and doing the heavy lifting around the house became Saturday trips to Lowe’s for white paint for the crumbling picket fence and tedious parties with fellow “equal” marriages, complete with empty rhetoric of “progress” and “Leaning In.”

This was on purpose because women were looking to prove that we men can’t be trusted. We men can’t be entrusted to do right, to love properly and — most importantly — that we are all beasts.  The simultaneously lachrymose and needlessly self-absorbed approach has thoroughly revolutionized sex relations in a way that is has hurt our collective relations terribly.

cigar-lounge

The truth is, for men, is that we need spaces in society were we can connect — free of the judgmental eyes of women — with other men and simply exist without female influence. The concept of a gentleman’s club is an excellent idea. Now, you may object, saying that men have locker rooms, upscale cigar bars and other, limited, spaces, but those are inferior to the concept of men getting together with no other reason but to hang out with other men. Some men have single friends with apartments or perhaps houses where men can congregate, imbibe top-shelf brandy and play Texas hold ‘em. Yet, for most men, they don’t have those options. Most men live in urban areas, necessitating a central location for men to gather to socialize.

Most men don’t understand how tight the bonds of men in the past were. Men who served side-by-side in trenches outside Paris, France in WW1, men who traveled together across the undocumented wilderness in early America or the men who toiled and suffered in coal mines in the woods of West Virginia during the Gilded Age. Even outside of these specific situations, often what carried a man through life wasn’t just the love of his wife or children, but was the unshakable bondage with their fellow man. Technologically privileged people nowadays might think, “How did all those men get through the muck of life back then?” The answer is simple: each other.

Presently, most men don’t usually experience tortuous situations such as killed in combat or living on the fringe edge of poverty with nary a nickel to buy your child a coloring book. The battles men face today are ethereal and hidden as best society can. Men are socialized poorly, are isolated from one another in innumerable ways and are not given the tools to form a proper self-identity.  Ideas like gentlemen’s clubs are excellent ways to help men improve their lives, gain a support network and achieve to the best of their abilities. A network, a place where a man can know he has friends and allies is a great idea to help the modern man live his life to the fullest.

RooshV Forum is a digital example of this. Tightly controlled, with only certain men — and men alone — allowed to contribute, it weeds out men with no desire for personal betterment or transformation. If the forum was a physical place, it would be a tiny joint tucked away in a quiet part of town, away from the prying eyes of wider society. Leaving fiduciary concerns aside, dues wouldn’t be financial, but a commitment to add to the value of other men in the forum and to, also, better yourself. You would have guys sitting at the bar, enjoying a particularly smooth, aged bottle of scotch, discussing the wider implications of Tinder on game. You might have a couple guys playing billiards in another room, puffing on pipes filled with a particularly pungent Virginia-style tobacco, discussing their travels to Osaka, Japan. Just as in “The Breathing Method,” at the close of the eve, all the men would gather round the roaring, cackling fireplace, provided a small glass filled with nothing but Glenlivet Single Malt and ice and trade tall tales, the more outlandish the better.

gentleman's club library

This is what clubs were and should be. Places were men gather, even if to simply tuck yourself away in the small library and read fiction all night, smoking cigars. It would simply be a place where men can exist, outside the conflicting and conflating pressures of the modern world, away from the braying and incessant complaining of women and a place where opinions and experiences can be shared with no shrill politically-correct harpy screaming at the top of their lungs. Away from the white-knight conservatives with notion of saving their precious white women from the machinations of players, fearless raw-doggers or any manner of man that these of sorts of sick knights find execrable. A place where a man can sit back on a couch, pop open a bottle of Sam Adams and say, “Fuck Lindy West! That bitch is nothing but one, massive avalanche of flesh!” and is met with roaring laughter.

A return of these sorts of clubs in real life is needed. I don’t think it will happen on a wider, social scale as needed. Men will have to ferret away to Internet enclaves — such as Return Of Kings — to meet these sorts of needs. However, what would be best is that men have these sorts of suspiciously-viewed haunts in the flesh.

Read Next: True Friendship Is About Tough Love


About the Author

is a narcissist, an alcoholic and a serial womanizer. His column runs every Sunday. Follow him on Twitter

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