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Home This Month Popular The Difference Between The Nice Guy, The Asshole, And The Alpha Male

The Difference Between The Nice Guy, The Asshole, And The Alpha Male

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David

David is a strength coach and bestselling Men's Health author. You can follow him at HowToBeast.com.

February 16, 2014 85 Comments Masculinity
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In the manosphere, there are typically two defined sects of men: white knights and red-pillers.

While this division has value, I find there to be three types of men: the nice guy, the asshole, and the alpha male. And these archetypes resemble the above to a certain extent. The white knight matches up with the nice guy, for example.

However, the red-piller can be broken down into the alpha and the asshole. They both have a more realistic view of the world than the white knight. And they both will be more successful as a result. But they aren’t the same. Confidence is the distinguishing trait.

The alpha realizes that he can only rely on himself, he has to take what he wants, and women aren’t divine goddesses. And so does the asshole, for the most part. But the alpha is confident and self-assured. He loves himself, and everything he does reflects this love. The asshole, on the other hand, is not. He has intense insecurities that cause him to constantly attack others in the hopes of making himself feel better. He gets the big picture, but can’t get a handle on himself.

To demonstrate the inherent differences between these three types of men, I’ll provide an example. We’ll examine how they each behave at the bar, because the bar is a quintessential example for every concept these days.

The Nice Guy

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As he enters: His first instinct is to seclude himself in the corner, or hide amongst his group of close friends. Based on this behaviour, you might guess that staying hidden is his goal.

Girls: Even if he’s single and wants to meet a new girl, he won’t approach. He doesn’t want to “inconvenience” or “startle” any of these holy creatures. He’d rather shamefully look at them and hope they don’t notice. If they make eye contact, he’s quick to take out his cellphone and send a fake text message.

You can find him: If he ventures away from the corner, he’ll be hovering around the bar trying to order a drink. It might take him an hour though. He doesn’t want to be too “aggressive” and push his way up front. That might upset someone.

The Asshole

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As he enters: The asshole feels at home at the bar. That doesn’t mean he’s secure though. He just comes a lot. When he enters, he’ll push his way to the bar and order a Bud Light, or three.

Girls: He tends to be single, but often gets caught up trying to prove his manliness instead of approaching women. He may also be afraid of women, and would rather get shit-faced drunk with his friends before throwing himself at anything that moves on the dance floor.

You can find him: Rest assured he’ll be posted up at the bar, staring other guys down. If not, you can find him throwing shoulders and elbows into other men, trying to prove his “dominance”, as he enters the bathroom for the 53rd time.

The Alpha

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As he enters: The alpha is also comfortable at the bar. But this comfort is a result of his regular confidence. He also understands of the insecurities of nearly everyone else who’s there, be it nice guys, assholes, or girls. He might order a drink, approach a girl, or just soak in the environment.

Girls: He can enjoy a good conversation with his buddy, but he won’t hesitate to approach a cute girl, if he sees one that catches his eye.

You can find him: He could be anywhere, but if he’s not deep in conversation he probably has a girl under his arm.

If you realize that men tend to take one of these three forms, it’s far easier to understand their actions. While a nice guy is easy to pick out, keep your eyes open when it comes to the assholes and the alphas. Few men are confident and alpha– don’t be fooled by the common “tough guy” act.

Check out my new #1 Amazon Bestseller, The Book of Alpha. It’s full of direct, actionable advice for the man who wants to better himself.

Read More: The Only 2 Things A Man Can Depend On

Feb 16, 2014David

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David

David is a strength coach and bestselling Men's Health author. You can follow him at HowToBeast.com.

February 16, 2014 Masculinity
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