Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached.

– Simone Weil

I lace up my shoes. The yoga class I attended has just ended. Everyone is making their way home, and I spot a smoking hot blonde with an incredibly tight body who was in class. I have to approach her. I slowly put on my jacket and make my way to the door, so that she is exiting at the same time. “Hey, do you come here often.”

“Yes, I’m actually studying to be an instructor so I have to take classes all the time,” she replies with a smile.

“Cool. You’re not from around here, are you?” I ask.

She blushes, “How can you tell? I moved in a year ago from Texas.”

Our conversation continues for three or four minutes, and I get her number. A smile comes across my face as I enter my car – I’m pumped. I now have her number, and I’ve been texting a girl I knew in college who just moved back into town. I deserve a pat on the back. That’s two whole girls… that I’m texting.

Don’t Make My Mistake

When you meet a hot girl that you want to bang or date or whatever, don’t get caught in the trap of expecting and hoping for it to happen. I’ve done this so many times in my life. I’ve seen my friends do the same thing. The problem is that you stop looking for other girls, because you already have one or two potential mates, and you become complacent. Not only does this behavior drown out the supply of new leads in your life, but it also negatively affects how you interact with the girls who you’re currently in contact with.


You will start to see them as your only option, and this will kill your game. It will cause anguish and pain when one stands you up or stops replying to your text messages. Instead of letting go and moving on, you’ll fight to win her over or just get a response. In the end, this will cripple you. You will lose the leads that you do have, and your confidence to approach and find new leads will go with it.

The alpha treats his leads all the same, until something actually happens. If you haven’t even gone on a date with, or kissed a girl, you shouldn’t invest anything into the relationship (if you can even call it that). They haven’t earned your attention yet.

Follow These Steps

1. When you get the number of a girl, put a note in your calendar to text her in a couple days.
2. When you text her, keep it simple. Just ask her how she is.
3. If she responds, directly ask her if she wants to hang out later in the week.
4. If she says yes, then make plans. If she says no, then delete her number.

Following this simple routine will prevent you from overly investing in a girl who doesn’t give a shit about you and will never actually meet up with you. Yes, she may text you back because she likes the attention you’re giving her, but if she won’t meet up with you then stop wasting your time and energy.

Check out my new book, The Book of Alpha. It’s full of direct, actionable advice for the man who wants to better himself.

Read More: Don’t Look For A Girlfriend


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