Don’t Look For A Girlfriend

Only strength can cooperate. Weakness can only beg.
– Dwight D. Eisenhower

My Experience

“There’s something we need to talk about.” I’m hanging out with a girl that I’ve been hooking up with consistently for the last two months. “What are we doing?” She asks.

She’s finally popped the question – a question that single men both love and hate at the same time. The question is of course can we become exclusive boyfriend and girlfriend. We love it because we’ve successfully attracted a girl who likes us so much that she wants to lock us down. It makes us feel proud – like we’ve done our job. We hate it because we must either commit to a long term relationship, or give up the sex we’ve been enjoying as of late.

But that’s all beside the point. I’ve never officially dated a girl before. At times I wanted a girlfriend. Those were the times I always had no luck, not even hooking up with girls. Other times, I just wanted to go out and have fun – or was looking for a hookup, but nothing more. Those were the times I would kill it. That’s where I am now, and thus this question is one I don’t want to answer. And so I put it off, as I always have. “I don’t know, let’s go get some food.”

But she brought it up again two weeks later. Stubborn girl, I thought. This time I accepted her advance. I’d thought about it, and decided to give the whole girlfriend thing a try, and see what it was all about. After making it through all of college, and avoiding the girlfriend trap, maybe it was time to test it out.

Honestly, so far it’s been great. I’ve dated this girl for the past six months, and enjoyed every minute I spend with her. Her femininity is refreshing.

The Lesson

The alpha isn’t needy.

It doesn’t matter if you want a girlfriend or not. The fact is that if you do, and this idea is present in your mind when you’re out meeting girls or hooking up with one, it will manifest itself in your actions. She will sense your desire for her – she will sense your longing. This tends to turn women off, because they want things they can’t have. They want a man they can’t tame. They want one that’s a challenge to lock down – one that puts his life missions over his women.

The outright desire for a long term relationship will spoil your game. It will bleed through in your words and your body language. Even if you do manage to hook up with and maybe even begin dating a girl while using this mindset, there’s a chance it will ruin the relationship. Successful relationships are based upon a strong masculine vs. feminine dynamic. The man must be in control. He must lead the course of the journey. If you start a relationship on the basis of you chasing her, this dynamic is all but ruined.

Take Action

1. If you desire a girlfriend, set that desire aside. You don’t have to convince yourself that you don’t want a girlfriend, only that you aren’t looking for one at this very moment in time.

2. Approach girls with the mindset that you simply want to meet them and have fun.

This is an excerpt from my book The Book of Alpha. It was released today on Amazon.

Read More: Do You Love Game?