American women have become increasingly brazen about their disdain for ‘nice guys.’ According to them, he’s not a good person but a Nice Guy™ who erects a facade of kindness and empathy to bed women.
After trying and failing to seduce a woman by becoming her ‘friend’ first, the Nice Guy is apt to doubt his ways. He goes through a progression of emotional stages, in a process similar to how people process grief, known as the Kubler-Ross model.
Stage 0: Being A Nice Guy
He plays the ‘friend’ for months and years to a girl, in order to date her. To him, seduction is a war of attrition, where he must endure an agonizing wait for weeks and years to claim his pussy prize. He willfully ignores that she sleeps with certain men at the drop of a hat. Lamentably, the vast majority of Nice Guys never really get past this stage.
As men, we want to believe that right action brings worldly reward. If we do the right thing, God will reward us on this Earth. Of course, this is manifestly false—bad things happen to good people. Many religions squared this vexing issue by assuring their followers of a world to come where they would receive their just reward, after their death.
For many men, the idea that evil goes unpunished is just too terrible, so they dream up all manner of superstitions to soothe themselves. The Nice Guy is just the latest to opt for this long and storied tradition. For now though, he’ll try and keep that Evil at bay by shielding his female friends from the lotharios lurking about. At least until the female friend gets mad at him for severing her pipeline of player penis, and the friendship explodes in a beautiful fit of dork rage and repressed lust.
Stage 1: Denial
“Of course she wants a nice guy – that’s what she always tells me!” “You have to treat a woman well to get with her.” “If I’m not nice to her, of course she’s not going to want to date me! Being nice is the only way.” “It’s okay if we’re just friends anyway – I promise not to get jealous if she starts dating someone else!”
He only starts making these affirmation because a little part of him wonders if they are true or not. He must assure himself, “Yes, of course they are true!” If he is more intellectually honest, or he has some wise friends, he’ll have to give these assurances a closer look. If he stopped claiming that nubile women want nice guys, he would have to undergo a complete transformation – he would have to change who he is. Or swear off women altogether. Neither option is very appealing to him.
Ironically, the Nice Guy’s cardinal sin is PRIDE. He is too wrapped up in his own image of himself as a Nice Guy, who will do whatever it takes to earn the lady’s heart. The only women who wouldn’t want a Nice Guy are not worth talking about, he tells himself. The Nice Guy is like a fat chick – a fat chick will say she doesn’t like muscular guys. In reality, every fit man she’s ever liked has rejected her, so she protects her ego from future rejection by claiming she doesn’t want that kind of man anyway.
Many men get stuck in this stage; they never get the cojones to let their skepticism win out. For a few, the doubt becomes too much, and they relent, and enter the next stage.
Stage 2: Anger
Now our Nice Guy is furious that women don’t actually reward men like him. Every time he hears about a woman getting pumped and dumped, or reaching menopause without children, he gets into a righteous fury. “That’s what you get for not liking nice guys, you cunt!” “Of course that dumb slut ended up as a broke single mother, bitch deserved it.”
Unfortunately, many men never really get past this stage. Even in the manosphere, among self-styled ‘Red Pill’ men, there is lots of anger. Anger can be a catalyst for good – it can push you to make big rewarding changes, changes that will make your life better.
But when you stew in it day after day without making changes, it becomes almost a default emotion, as can be seen with radical feminists. Anger becomes your comfort zone, and you never really leave it.
We’ve all known someone who was bitter or dejected all the time. At first it’s vexing, because who wants to feel bad all the time? But you start to realize that their negative emotional state, on some morbid level, is what satisfies them. It’s now their comfort zone.
Many former Nice Guys reach this point. The anger is no longer a catalyst for self-improvement, but a set of manacles that binds you to failure. When a man is always angry about women fucking ‘bad boys,’ he is telling the world “I am a weakling and a coward. I am too pussy to move beyond blaming other people for my problems. I am too lazy to change.” Naturally, there is a place for criticism of this conduct, but when it is expressed with anger, it betrays a lack of self-mastery.
Stage 3: Bargaining
The Nice Guy isn’t ready to accept the full brunt of these new beliefs. Deep down, he’s still drawn to his old ways.
“Maybe I can act all aloof until we have our first kiss, and then I can share how I really feel about her, and about the future I have planned for us.” “After I insult her a couple times, then I can start writing her the love poetry I’ve always wanted to.” “I understand I have to play ‘the bad boy’ but when is it safe to be sweet and nurturing? I don’t want to have sex with a girl unless I get to cuddle with her before and after.”
Of course, his half-assed strategy doesn’t work. To be honest, I don’t see too much of this mentality – if a man enters this stage at all, he doesn’t stay in it for too long. It’s more likely that he will regress to an earlier stage, go on to despair, or skip it entirely. Other times, what may seem like bargaining is really just him honing his strategy.
Stage 4: Despair
Despair sets in. “What’s the point of having a girlfriend if I can’t be the boyfriend I’ve always wanted to be?” “If being a nice guy is wrong, I don’t want to be right.” “There’s no hope for me if I can’t be nice.”
We’re quick to call a man a bitch for being so weepy, so most men will know better than to air their despair. Usually, the despondent man will sulk in silence. If he speaks up, everyone around will have a good go at mocking him, and telling him what a little bitch he is.
Stage 5: Acceptance
At last, our man accepts that being a Nice Guy simply doesn’t make sense. He can choose to be a cad, to emigrate, or to give up on women altogether. All are fine choices, given the circumstances. He lets truth and principle dictate his behavior in equal measure, instead of shielding his pride. He’s come to terms with reality, and now he’s free. He may have some residual Nice Guy temperament left, but he’s mentally ready to trash it as circumstances demand.
And If You’re Still Bitching About Women Hating Nice Guys…
Now, it’s fine to take issue with how the world is proceeding, especially with how women are behaving. But when a man is consistently angry that women fuck ‘bad boys’ while ignoring ‘nice guys,’ he is announcing that he’s still a bitch. He is letting other people control his emotions while refusing to take meaningful action. He doesn’t have the stoicism, the self-mastery to carve out a path to get what he wants, or give up on trying to get it. He just wants to bitch about what he wants but isn’t getting.
I also know these men are not getting laid. If a man says “I don’t want to become the kind of man that getting laid would require” – fine, that is an acceptable response – but it requires that you stop giving a fuck about getting laid. Of course, very few men can do that – if you are young and healthy, your sex drive won’t allow it. Your lust is going to show one way or another. So these men settle into whining all the time.
I haven’t known a single player who was consistently angry. They had their moments, sure, but they wouldn’t tolerate failure. They put up or shut up – they didn’t half ass it by sticking around to vent and whine. If you find yourself routinely getting angry at people you’ve never met, it’s time for a change.
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