The Father Of Relationship Game Shares His Secrets
Long before PUA became mainstream, Thomas Hodges wrote The System: The Dating Dictionary, a manual advocating specific strategies for securing long-term relationships with the ever feisty American woman. The System has a ton of valuable advice, but it is sold at an unreasonable $100 per copy, and so much of the wisdom contained within is unavailable to the average man. With the down economy, and the modern flood of dating products, most men aren’t going to pony up $100 for advice that can be found online if one searches hard enough. $100 dollar products look like scams.
The book is particularly notable for being the first of its kind. Not only does it have a strict game plan for men to follow, but it also was written by a man for men with the intention of keeping a good woman in a happy relationship. Prior to Doc Love, most relationship focused material was written by women, and therefore had no bearing to reality, or was just about scoring sex (e.g. Ross Jefferies). Doc Love tapped into this unexplored niche first and probably has profited the most from it, having been a regular columnist at Askmen for a decade, as well as hosting radio programs and seminars for men.
Thus the goal of this review is to give away the most valuable parts of the 300+ page book for free. As an experienced player I know the good parts of The System from the bad. We’ll talk about why Doc Love advocates some of the crazy advice that he does, and what parts men should follow.
I. Interest Levels
When a woman meets a man, she is either interested in him or not. A man can only raise her initial interest level provided she has a high enough attraction to him. Doc Love rates a woman’s interest level on a scale of 0-100%, with 0% being totally indifferent and 100% being so madly in love she would take a bullet for you.
A woman needs an interest level of 50% or higher before she can be gamed. Thus her initial impression of you is based on your passive game, and only afterward can you actively work to get inside of her pants. Ideally you want to game women who have high initial interest in you, so there is less work.
II. What Raises Her Interest Level?
The three most attractive personality traits any man can have are confidence, control, and challenge.
Confidence: Composed of self-esteem and self-confidence. Self-esteem involves standing up for yourself when being disrespected, and saying “No” to any behavior you find unacceptable. Self-confidence is believing in the principles of The System and not backing down from Doc Love’s game plan. I would also add into self-confidence is knowing when to be sexual with a woman.
Control: Composed of self-control, patience, and discipline. Self-control means to have mastery of your own emotions, and never letting a woman get under your skin. Patience means to move slowly with women; never rush into relationships. Discipline means, again, sticking to The System.
Challenge: Letting the woman chase you. Avoiding being too needy of her attention. Doing the bare minimum to keep the relationship going, always being prepared to dump her if she goes for another man or disrespects you.
According to Doc Love, only if you display confidence, control, and challenge, will a woman’s Interest Level for a man raise over time.
III. What Is Doc Love’s Game?
The entirety of Doc Love’s game plan is to separate women who aren’t interested in you from women who are. The strategy is to process a large volume of women and let The System sort the crappy relationship prospects from “Ms. Right.”
Doc Love is also a big proponent of doing cold approaches in this quest, but he understands the success rate for cold approaches is low. Nonetheless, no matter the social setting, Doc Love’s gameplan is as follows:
1. Make the best damn first impression possible. Be a charmer, like Cary Grant, and be (or at least act as) the most distinguished gentleman in the world.
2. Get her number and bounce.
3. Call her up in 5-9 days after you get the number, but never on a weekend (except Sunday evenings). So if you score her number on a Wednesday, you would wait until next Monday to call her for a date (Challenge).
4. Never schedule dates for the weekend unless she specifically requests for it (Challenge).
5. Once on the date, do not touch her until she touches you (Challenge). Again, be the most interesting awesome man in the world. At the end of the date, provided she made a move on you first, you can go for the kiss.
6. Wait 5-9 days again to ask her for another date, unless she calls you up first to ask you out again (always respond positively to a woman’s advances).
7. Don’t worry about pushing for sex. It will be obvious when she wants it (she’ll ask to go to your house, she’ll invite you over hers, etc), and if sex happens it will occur sometime between dates 2 and 9 (Patience).
8. If at any time the woman stops responding to your calls, or turns down your sexual advances on a date, you dump her.
Obviously, this game plan is going to turn off a lot of woman, but that’s okay. In Doc Love’s world, this is just sorting out women who have a low Interest Level in you, while keeping the ones who actually like you. There’s no point in pursuing women with low interest in you, since even if you do manage to marry such a girl she’ll just divorce rape you anyways.
Additionally, The System guarantees that the only women who stick around with have the best personality traits possible for pleasing a man.
IV. What Personality Traits Do Men Look For In Women?
There are three personality traits a woman must have if a man wants to have a long, happy, and fulfilling relationship.
Flexible: Does she bitch, nag, and argue about pointless shit all the time? Or does she let the man do as he pleases, such as going out by himself, and pursuing his own interests and hobbies? Quite obviously a man needs the latter, so avoid the shrew.
Giving: Does she like money more than men? Does she make time in the day for her activities but none for yours? Does she offer to pay for anything? Does she make an effort to please you (such as cook)? A giving woman is a loving woman, there is no other substitute in having a good wife.
Integrity: Is she loyal to you before other men? Does she lie, or is she honest? Can you trust her? Would you form a business partnership with her? If your woman doesn’t have integrity, then she’ll never be a good wife. You’ll always have to second guess her motives and watch your back against possible betrayals.
The reason why Doc Love has men wait 5-9 days in between dates and approach relationships so slowly is to discover what kind of a woman she is before you get involved. If a woman lacks any of these three all-important qualities, then you should unload her. She isn’t good relationship material.
Also, no woman is perfect. She might be really good in two areas but slightly deficient in a third, so it’s ultimately up to each man to judge what he’ll put up with.
Should a man discover the perfect giving woman with integrity and flexibility, then you should treasure her because you’ve found something special. Which is to say, continue to have confidence, control, and be a challenge.
V. What Is The Ultimate Goal Of The System?
The goal of the The System is to maintain power over your woman. Not power as a master over his slave, but power as a man over a woman. Power is what makes a woman fall in love with a man, and keeps her in love. Power comes from three sources.
1. A woman’s beauty. The more beautiful she is, the more power she has over men.
2. A man’s passive value. His looks, money, fame, etc, all weigh in to give a man power.
3. Whoever is winning the relationship game. If the man is gaming his woman properly, her interest level in the man will be higher than the man’s interest level in the woman.
Note the implications in these statements.
Doc Love is very harsh on beautiful women – because of the disproportionate amount of power a beautiful woman has, the odds of having a good relationship with a beautiful woman is slim to none.
A man should also be working hard to increase his passive value at all times, because it’s the only chance he has if he wants to keep a relationship alive over the long term.
VI. Samseau’s Analysis And Recommendations
For something written back in the 90′s, I have a lot of respect for a system that basically treats women as expendable objects until you find Ms. Right. This is the right attitude for handling women. It’s also a reflection of Doc Love’s career background as a salesman – the only way to move product is by pushing a large volume of customers. The System can only work if you are approaching hundreds of women each year.
One of the biggest problems newbies have with The System is that they don’t believe it. They cannot imagine waiting a week before calling, or standing up to your woman to make her like you more. However, both my experience and my friends experiences have confirmed that The System is legit, and as time passed much of Doc Love’s wisdom became codified in popular game blogs.
But even though most of the good parts of Doc Love’s system are mainstream in game circles today, I still see most players unaware of looking for a giving woman with integrity and flexibility. Most guys just go for the hottest women they can get, which is obviously a terrible idea for relationships. My best relationship was with a woman who was only a 6, easily worse looking than 50% of the women I’ve banged, yet I enjoyed sleeping with her every night. She treated me like a king and I had no problem giving her my time and attention.
Not Everything That Doc Love Recommends Is Good
Doc Love said to go for a girl’s phone number, but this was before smart phones became ubiquitous. Phone numbers today are absolutely worthless, and have an astronomical flake rate. Dating in general is nothing like it was in the 90′s, and women today view dating as anti-challenge. A woman knows you like her if you ask her out, and so that can kill the seduction.
Doc Love advocated waiting on sex, but that’s not a good strategy. Since the goal of The System, in Doc Love’s words, is to increase your power over the woman, it doesn’t make sense to let her control access to sex. You want to get her sex card played as soon as possible, in order to decrease the amount of power she has over you. Waiting one, or even two dates, for sex is acceptable, but in my experience the longer a woman makes the man wait, the less interested she is in him.
Waiting on sex means you’ll miss on out a lot of flings since the only chance of banging most women (the ones who will never be your girlfriend) is if you move extremely fast. What man wants to go through long dry spells in search of Ms. Right? My preference is to get lots of easy sex in between girlfriends. Good relationship material seems to comes once every two years or so, and that’s provided you’re approaching hundreds of women each year. Waiting for up to two years with no sex doesn’t sound like a good system to me.
Not to mention when you finally do meet Ms. Right, all of that sexual experience will sure come in handy.
The best way to run challenge game today is to bang the woman on the first day you meet her, and then wait a week before you call her up again to hang. If she wants to see you again, she can call you up in the meantime. If you meet her and bang again, then you’ll want to wait another week (maybe two weeks even) to call her up again. You want to bait the woman into chasing you, so her interest level goes up.
The beauty of this plan is that if she loses interest in you, then you’re off the hook! You already got the bang and now you don’t have to deal with a woman of low relationship quality. It’s win-win.
Finally, as a general note, The System is poorly written and the entire game plan has to be pieced together from various sections of the book. There is no neat outline like the one provided in section III. Doc Love is not a writer, he’s a salesman. But a very clever one at that.Tweet Follow @returnofkings