Last summer in Poznan, the going got tough where I was no longer getting one-night stands on weekdays. I had to fall back to day game and long-form dating in order to keep my sexual activity at a desired level. Nonetheless, every night I went out my goal was still to get laid. Numbers and kisses aren’t bad, but I want to completely seal the deal with a new chick whenever I step out of the door.
For those two summer months, I started to collect reasons why I didn’t get the same-night bang. Many nights had multiple causes for failure. Here are reasons I tracked, from most frequent to least:
25%: Could not isolate solid prospect from her social circle
19%: Not enough women in the venue(s) I went to
13%: Girls I connected with most had a boyfriend
6%: Girl was 100% firm in not fucking same night
6%: I wasn’t horny enough to make committed approaches
6%: I failed to venue change to my place after the kiss
6%: No girl was buying what I was selling (nothing but rejections all night long)
6%: Deadly late game cockblock
6%: Escalated too early and scared girl away
3%: Just wasn’t feeling it
I noticed that reasons for failure fall under three categories.
1. The environment (e.g., not enough girls)
2. My own ability or mood (escalated too early, wasn’t horny)
3. Combination of the above two (couldn’t isolate)
My goal was to reduce failure in situations that I could affect. So I made three immediate changes:
1. I started asking girls if they had a boyfriend. This helped me avoid girls who weren’t serious about having sex.
2. I avoided girls in big groups. Isolation and cockblocks are consistent issues with group approaches.
3. I ditched girls who put out a prudish vibe.
With the three changes I made, I ended up talking to less girls per night but got slightly more closes (a kiss or more).
Log reasons for failure in the next month or two. Every night you don’t reach your goal (getting a number, kiss, or one-night stand), write down why you failed. Look at that list after a while to see if there’s any changes you can make which would improve your odds. My decision to quickly screen for Polish girls with boyfriends, for example, saw an immediate positive change. While a big part of getting laid is to repeat actions that are working, sometimes it’s more about avoiding behaviors or situations that you’re sure are not helping you reach your goal.