Emmanuel Goldstein
Emmanuel is a pompous git who enjoys the company of girly mistresses, spirited men, endless buffets and luxurious clothes. He can be found on Twitter at @Goldsteineum.
Throughout the world, health organizations track the numbers of the morbidly obese and overweight by Body Mass Index (BMI) – a ratio of one’s weight in kilograms to the square of one’s height in meters.
BMI = Weight (kg) / Height² (m)
From the CDC:
Height Weight Status 5′ 9″ 124 lbs or less Below 18.5 Underweight 125 lbs to 168 lbs 18.5 to 24.9 Normal 169 lbs to 202 lbs 25.0 to 29.9 Overweight 203 lbs or more 30 or higher Obese
According to the BMI guidelines, a BMI between 18 and 25 is considered healthy. Under 18 is underweight; 25-30 is overweight, and 30+ is morbidly obese. The ratio was conceived as a measure of a population’s general physical shape—if BMI were to rise over the years, the thinking goes, this would be an indication that the population was getting fatter. In that very limited case, BMI is useful. Go much beyond that, and it becomes worthless.
The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and other organizations use these BMI classifications to tote up how much of each country’s population is healthy, overweight and obese. Using UN and WHO data, the average woman of age 15-29 in the US has a BMI of 27. Two thirds of women in this category have a BMI of 25+, which is classified as overweight.
But if you look at real women on the ground, you will arrive at a much different conclusion. To prove this beyond all reasonable doubt, I shall marshal some photos of porn stars. Porn stars are a great study sample because they represent the range of what’s maximally sexually arousing to straight horny men – and we can all see them naked with the click of a button, leaving no pore unseen. Secret Internet Fatties, they are not. These are women that whose careers rise and fall on their ability to entice men. Some of them are known for having the biggest asses in porn – they are outliers in an industry of outliers. If any woman would look sexy with a high BMI, it would be them.
Alexis Texas has a legendary onion booty. I’m not a porn guru, so I can’t say it’s the biggest—but it’s definitely up there. If anyone should have a high BMI, it’s Alexis.
Height: 5’8
Weight: 129 lbs
BMI: 19.6
Gianna Michaels
Height: 5’10
Weight: 145 lbs
BMI: 20.8
Delilah Strong
Height: 5’9″
Weight: 129 lbs
BMI: 19
Kelly Divine
Height: 5’8″
Weight: 129 lbs
BMI: 19.6
Rachel Starr
Height: 5’4″
Weight: 121 lbs
BMI: 20.8
Paige Turnah
Height: 5’10”
Weight: 165
BMI: 23.7
Source: http://www.iafd.com
Despite sporting some of the biggest asses known to man, these porn stars end up on the low side of the supposedly ‘healthy’ BMI range. Those derrieres mean they’re packing ten or twenty extra pounds of muscle and fat down low, and they still come up thin according to BMI. Only Paige Turnah came even close to a BMI of 25, and she is just a gigantic woman all around – I wouldn’t be surprised if she played sports seriously earlier on. If these women are considered thin, what does that mean about the women with a BMI of say 23, with a flat ass and floppy thighs?
Simply, they are fat. I’m a bit of a numbers guy, and I like to connect looks to numbers. I’ve gotten pretty good at estimating a girl’s bra size, which is pretty easy once you understand how it works. I will routinely ask girls how much they weigh and their bra size on a first date, to build my sample size of observations.
It didn’t take long to realize that the BMI guidelines are wildly inaccurate – that any woman in the upper half of the healthy range was actually quite fat. Equally, women who were classed as ‘underweight’ were just as easily healthy. Not long ago, I met a girl who was 5’6″ and 98 lbs – she felt great in my hands, and wasn’t lacking for energy whatsoever. But at a 15.8 BMI, she was supposedly malnourished. More recently, I banged a taller girl with a big ass, yet her BMI was only a 19. Time and time again, hands-on experience has shown me that most girls in the upper half of the ‘healthy BMI’ range are simply FAT.
To gauge whether a woman is fat or not, consult the following table:
I’m black in spirit
To assess a girl fairly, you have to make an allowance for muscle. On average, girls will pack on 20 lbs of mass or 2 BMI points from lifting weights or playing sports seriously – ‘trained’ in the table above. You could have two girls that look slim with clothes on, both standing at 5’6″, and the athletic one will weigh 20 lbs more – plus her body will feel way better up close. They can pack on even more, but usually at the expense of their looks, by sporting a mannish, bulky upper body (e.g., water polo players). Girls with lots of muscle will look fat if they aren’t careful – an extra ten pounds of fat on top of thick muscle, or even clothing that fits poorly can be enough to erase their appeal.
Indeed, some prominent doctors back my findings, saying that the BMI threshold for women ought to be 24, not 30. Other research into BMI has found that the elderly, white women, and short people are fatter than their BMIs would suggest, while black women and tall people are leaner. My gropings observations stem primarily from white women aged 18-30; older demographic groups were deliberately ignored. Only a small minority of women fall in the trained group – so when you set the threshold for being considered fat at a BMI of 22 as in my chart above, you discover an astonishing 80% of young women are fat. No wonder getting a non-fat girl in America can feel like a sadistic game of musical chairs, where there is one chair for every five players.
Read More: 10 Tell-Tale Signs She’s A Secret Internet Fatty
Emmanuel Goldstein
Emmanuel is a pompous git who enjoys the company of girly mistresses, spirited men, endless buffets and luxurious clothes. He can be found on Twitter at @Goldsteineum.
