Facebook Is Hurting Your Game

As of 2013, one can safely assume that virtually every person in Western society that does not live under a rock has a Facebook account, and most of them (myself included) are closed off to the idea of completely giving it up. While guys will usually get a girls cell phone number when they meet them from a cold approach, guys have been making the mistake of “Facebook closing” their approaches instead, which has a number of drawbacks compared to a traditional number close.

The best analogy for Facebook in relation to game is to think of it as “Friendbook”. Guys should feel free to add any dudes or unattractive girls they meet if they wish but avoid girls to Facebook that they are trying to later have sex with.

Occasionally, a girl will turn down a number close and offer you her Facebook instead. Unless a girl has a legitimate reason for why she cannot make contact with you via phone, a girl who refuses to give you her phone number is not serious about meeting up with you again. Young girls give out their phone numbers like candy to the point where the most numbers are essentially worthless.

When a girl offers her Facebook to you instead, it is like the 21st century incarnation of “Let’s Just Be Friends”, but even worse considering that she still “friendzones” most of the guys who she gives her actual number to anyway. Girls will readily give out their Facebook profiles to gain yet another orbiter to validate her by liking her constant stream of photos and statuses. Do not be that guy.

Why You Shouldn’t “Facebook Close” Girls

Something I see among young guys learning cold approach pickup is to actually ask for a girls Facebook straight off the bat without even trying for her phone number. To be frank, this is a stupid move. If you Facebook close a girl to arrange to meet up with her again later, it is guaranteed that she will go through your pictures and recent activity and use that information to reassess how attractive she thinks you are.

This is both a blessing and a curse depending on how “pimped out” your profile is, but I for one would rather play it safe and make girls use their impression of me in person to decide whether or not to meet up again rather than a Facebook profile.

Another critical reason why guys need to stop Facebook closing their cold approaches is the new “Seen by” feature on Facebook messages. This new feature allows Facebook users to know at exactly which time the person they were messaging saw their last message, which can lead to you having to put up with unnecessary drama when you decide to take your sweet time in responding to her.

Facebook Is Incompatible With The Player Lifestyle

Lastly, Facebook makes it logistically more difficult to date multiple girls at once, requiring you to delete or remove the tags of any incriminating comments, photos, statuses and check-in’s that your girls make that appear on your profile. This entire hassle and the danger of getting caught is infinitely smaller when you do not have them on Facebook. I don’t think it even needs to be said how adding girls you approach to Facebook won’t work if you are in a “Facebook official” relationship.

In a cold approach situation, I strongly advise young men against adding girls to Facebook that you’ve just met unless there is legitimate reason why she cannot communicate with you via phone. You can relax this policy post-sex and after you’ve known her a little for longer if you see no downside to doing so. It is a decision you have to make by ear.

How To Escape Giving Girls Your Facebook

If a girl you are seeing asks for your Facebook after a while and it would be a bad idea to give it to her (maybe because you have a girlfriend or you lied about your age when you met her or you just want to play it safe), tell her that you deactivated your account because you were tired of the bullshit and attention whoring on your newsfeed. Girls will nod their heads in agreement and understand exactly what you mean.

The next step you must take is to minimize the chances of your girls finding your Facebook by changing your Facebook’s privacy settings so that only people you have mutual friends with can find your profile by using Facebook’s search feature.

The rise of smartphones and social media has drastically changed the way young men and women communicate and make plans together. In a time when calling girls on the phone is rarely done outside of relationships, it is imperative that today’s young men do not let texting go the way of the dinosaur. Do not allow your Facebook profile to become a factor in your game.

Facebook=Friendbook.

Don’t Miss: The Secret To Approaching Older Women As A Young Man

Follow @returnofkings

About the Author

P Dog is a young blogger and player in training. Follow him and his adventures at Starting Young & Aiming High. His column runs every Sunday.

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http://yahoo “Not Right”

I was just about to delete my Facebook account when I read this and I’m still going to. There was an article I read the other day that told how Facebook is causing people to lose the art of conversation. It also leads to higher levels of depression due to people convincing themselves that their lives are not as awesome as the “friends” they have on Facebook. Having your 400 “friends” like everything you post makes people feel like they are celebrities, only increasing their sense of entitlement for little or no accomplishment. However, I did pillage a pizza hut waitress who originally only gave me her Facebook info. She was an 8 in looks but I don’t think this is the norm. This was about 2 or 3 years ago before Facebook really became popular. So it is possible the perception of what it meant to be friends on Facebook may have been different back then.
- therancor
  
  23yo aussie, don’t use facebook and never have. There is absolutely no way I would be able to fuck/date concurrent girls as I do while having facebook. I constantly have multiple “girlfriends” who don’t know about each other.
  
  Making girls feel like they are your girlfriend (in unison with tight game and aloof jerk mode) means they will put out more sex, more often, and be more supplicant. It just doesn’t work on more than one if you have facebook.
Uncle Elmer

What’s “Facebook”?
Eh

My experience with facebook has been somewhat different. Recently I was tagged in a photo taken while out with a female friend. Within a day I received a friend request from a woman I’d never met. She had an attractive profile picture so I accepted the request and shot her a message. We exchanged casual messages for a few days then agreed we’d likely see each other out at X bar when the weekend came. We did run into each other, she came home with me, and I banged her.

In another instance I met a girl out at a bar who I had never met, but after we had sex that night she confessed to having previously stocked my profile. So I would think twice about deleting your profile.

That said, I would never consider “facebook closing” a girl unless one of us was traveling internationally. When abroad, facebook is a fantastic tool for communicating.
- Daniels
  
  Exactly, he is just pointing out the disadvantages. Facebook closing has several advantages over number closing. It’s safer to close, it’s easier to communicate afterwards and hence build interest.
Tampa

Deleted my Facebook account over a year ago. The issue with facebook isn’t the close ration etc….it’s that it can be an easy disqualifier. It’s been proven time and again that women are more pickier when they see a photo of you. One bad photo on your facebook acct and youre toast. Rest assure that every chick you have hooked up with has scrolled through facebook trying to find yoru account so they can see your photos. I have learned this lesson the hard way. Plus, deleting facebook gives you an aura of mystery that women love. I can’t believe i ever used it – it’s so stupid.

There is very little upside to facebook and a ton of downside. Delete it.
- Peter
  
  ‘every chick you have hooked up with has scrolled through facebook trying to find yoru account so they can see your photos’
  
  I know it’s too much to presume that girls act logically, but seriously, why would she browse through your photos to validate your looks when she’s already met you in person?
  
  I have a tiny profile picture and I’m tagged in another one. I get requests from the girls I have never ever met and honestly, I have no idea if the profile pic is a factor, ’cause you can barely see my face in it. Full disclosure: I’m by no means ugly, but it’s hard too take a good picture of me, so it’s not the killer looks they’re after.
  
  Fb is a tool. You can use it right and you can use it wrong.
- user2345
  
  Plus, deleting facebook gives you an aura of mystery that women love. I can’t believe i ever used it – it’s so stupid.
  This.
http://socialmediamarketingwow.com Roy Marvelous

I have a different opinion. You have to manage your Facebook presence – always untag bad/incriminating photos. Also, when I add a girl I only put her on Restricted so she only sees what I want her to see but I still get to chat with her.

Having said that, you don’t want to be “Facebook friends” for too long before meeting up again.
monster221

dude roosh himself wrote a post a while back which i had the luxury of reading telling of the benefits to the facebook close. it spoke of the effortless preselection, and how they feel like they know you better than they do just from seeing a couple of posts.

i dont really buy it. i usually dig rooshs wisdom but facebook closing wouldnt fit into my methods. first i dont post that much because i could care fucking less about facebook. second i lie quite often to broads about my age and name and all that, and you know… facebook blows your cover.

preselection isnt hard anyway. talk to a couple of girls in front of them. if they have had a couple dates with you leave your phone on the table and go take a piss. they WILL check out the contacts (just hide the texts). answer girls calls in front of them and dont care about it. easier than maintaining hundreds of virtual friendships just to get an inch of benefit out of it. my opinion anyways. and if she “doesnt give out her phone number” next that bitch.

in other words, agreed wholeheatredly.
RD

I don’t use facebook. How mad are you?
Dude

IMO this is corny, especially if you’re a younger guy. It’s easy as shit to manage your facebook account and an unbelievably easy way to DHV as hard as you want without seeming try-hard (i.e. telling a girl how rad your car is vs. posting a picture of you working on it, etc.). I agree that ‘facebook closing’ a girl instead of getting a number is retarded, but I don’t think there’s any reason for a single guy to delete it. Why would you have an online dating profile (if you do) but not facebook? It’s the same thing but way less creepy and way more broad-reaching (pun intended). Don’t let your friends tag you in stupid, drunk pictures, only post ones that make you look cool or popular or masculine, and post a funny status once every few weeks. I cannot count the number of times I’ve gotten laid, directly or at least indirectly, from facebook.
Antoine

I disagree with most of this. While it sure is bad when you have a ltgf, if you have plenty of pictures with gorgeous females on your profile it works like in real life: you’ve planted the seeds of jealousy. I have a friend who practices this, it works wonders.
That Guy

While I agree that its relatively easy to regulate your FB privacy settings to keep your movements mostly anonymous I think this post has alot of wisdom. I haven’t deactivated my FB because i keep in touch with my social circle through it, however in general I definitely do not use it as a tool to close.

Girls have gotten wise to the fact that you ARE bragging about your car/house/possessions if you post a pic of these things on your profile, its not as subtle a way of DHV as you may think. In addition I think it greatly reduces your mystery, why would she have a conversation with you about your job/experiences/whatever if she can get all that info in 5 minutes by looking at your Facebook, and then move on to the next dude. In its own way your profile becomes a way to qualify yourself. In my experience it takes a great deal of my game out of the equation by becoming facebook FRIENDS.
When she asks me for my Facebook I tell her I dont have one, because its a headache.
denialist

meh. There’s a valid point about still preferring the phone, but it all largely depends. I banged and dated girls off facebook chat after a “facebook close”. Better than nothing. Jerry Seinfeld once got chick’s number of AIDS walk list ;)
http://www.naughtynomad.com Naughty Nomad

Sorry man, but I strongly disagree with this argument.
I have quantifiably tested this and can tell you respond rates and conversion rate to bangs are higher with Face-closing than number closing. Guys just need to ‘pimp’ your profile right and increase privacy.
- http://littlepdog.com/ P Dog
  
  I can definitely see how that would work for you considering all the awesome and interesting travel pictures you probably have on your profile.
http://3rdmilleniummen.wordpress.com 3rd Millenium Men

Great article P Dog. It’s definitely a tool that severely stalls progress. The only good reason for it is if you’re surrounded by other people and it’s less conspicuous to say “I’ll add you on Facebook” rather than asking for her number, while all of your non-verbal communication says “and fuck you later”.
Onder

It’s true. Facebook is bullshit when it comes to dating. I’ve had so many girls add me, only to text back, changing their minds about meeting me, or by outright deleting me off their list a day or 2 later. And my profile isn’t that bad either.

I would suggest what Paul Janka advises where if you really have to add them on your list. Be sure to fuck them first. Women are a lot more merciful and forgiving about the small details after you’ve fucked them.
http://www.twitter.com/dumasworld dumasworld

If you’re picking up girls in foreign country, facebook closing is very good. I think I’ve seen Krauser do facebook closes too.
mikael

Defenitly agree with the context, travelling or hometown. Huge difference.
At some point, be letting a girl giving acces you give away a lot of information, so you’re suddenly not so mysterious anymore.
On the other hand, you choose yourself what she can see, so you can compare it with a profile on a dating site.
Another advantage is that chatting is cheaper and easier than calling, espaciallly when you’re dating multiple women.
At the end, I think not giving a women acces to your FB will only give you advantage, because it makes you more mysterious.
rugster

oh man – not true! Facebook and soce likely to social networks are genius for pickup. I find a FB close is even better than a number close and actually more likely to lead to a date. If you are getting lots of numbers, and meeting girls frequently, then its too easy for everybody to forget anyway. Its higher pressure and more likely to flake. With social network, there is no pressure, the contact is guaranteed and comes with a photo. You can the message, chat and close.
http://twitter.com/UnendImprov Inane Rambler

Finally ditched Facebook for the 3rd and hopefully final time.
Winston

Another bullshit PUA article.

In reality though, if a girl is attracted to your looks and feels chemistry with you or vibes with you, she will go out with you. All you have to do is get her number and ask her out, or she will. It doesn’t matter if you “Facebook close her” rather than get her number, or if you use any “game or technique”. Those aren’t going to make any difference in her attraction to you. If she likes you, it doesn’t matter whether you call her or FB message her. If she doesn’t like you, it won’t matter either.

Why are so many guys out there giving bad advice on blogs, putting people in cartoonish categories like “alpha and beta” and acting like dating is a “skill or technique”? Relationships are not like machines you can control. What bullshit. These guys act like they have no real life experience with women or with people in general. They are a bunch of geeks making up bullshit stories and giving bullshit advice that doesn’t apply to the real world. So stupid.