“OMG…you are the most disgusting, worthless piece of flesh to walk the internet. Please get hit by a bus, then backed over. actually, I hope the bus has a giant ad for tampons on it, and it runs over yourt tiny pecker repeatedly before killing you!”

“He’ll probably drunkenly crash that retarded fucking car of his one night and hopefully shear that fuck-ugly steroid-bloated head of his clean off his body, so that it flies into the night and lands in a broken sewer pipe, where it fucking belongs, and the rest of us will feel the world get lighter by the weight of precisely one mediocre fucktard.”

“Maybe Hitler didn’t have the wrong idea. He just went after the wrong people. The people he should have gone after if he wanted to attain a higher level of human should be the people who run this site and those who believe there is nothing wrong with the bullshit this site pumps out.”

“It’s only a matter of time until someone decides this has gone too far and the author gets gunned down on some street, I swear.”

“I’d rip this piece of shit’s balls out if he was in my presence.”

“I’m going to chew your face off and swallow your disgusting flesh.”

“I hope some one gets your sweet little jack ass behind to a vet ASAP! Maybe while you’re there they can go ahead and do the world a favor and castrate you, too.”

“LOL, this is the most insane thing I’ve ever read. Stupid boy writing stupid things to fuel his stupid ego. Pathetic. Do the world a favor and do one of the following:
1) Hang yourself
2) Catch yourself on fire
3) Drown yourself
4) Chop off your every limb until you bleed to death
5) Just kill yourself in some general way and save the rest of humanity from your pathetic idiocy.
Look at that, you were just schooled by a feminist.”

My oh my.  It appears we have some angry people here, don’t we?  Yet, somehow I’m the one who gets suspended from Twitter (@TruthfulTrouble) for supposedly violating the rules of Twitter?

suspended

After appealing it, I received the following from Twitter.  It looks like they’ll be conducting a further investigation.

Hello,

We understand that you’re contesting an account suspension. Please be sure to read this entire email; you will need to take further action in order to reopen your ticket for your account to be reviewed.

If your account was suspended for aggressive following behavior, you should have received an email notification to the address associated with your Twitter account. Please reply to this message and confirm ALL of the following:

• You’ve removed all prohibited following automation from your account, and will stop any manual aggressive following behavior.
• You’ve reviewed our Best Practices page: http://support.twitter.com/articles/68916
• You understand our policies and will not engage in any prohibited following behavior.

If you received an email [email protected] “You’re being suspended” or that we’re going delete your account, you’re safe; the email is fake. More information here: https://support.twitter.com/articles/204820

If you’re uncertain why your account was suspended, please respond to this message after reviewing the Twitter Rules: http://www.twitter.com/rules

While we strive to avoid mistakes, it’s also possible that your account was suspended in error. If after reviewing the Rules, you have no idea why your account was suspended, just reply to this email and we’ll review your case.

Thanks,

Twitter Support
http://support.twitter.com
@Support

You can read my original post that prompted these responses here as well as all of the wonderful comments I’ve gotten on it.  I’ve received hundreds more Tweet-hates and emails calling for my head.  You can read some of the best here.

NOTE: I’ve gotten nowhere near the hate of my fellow ROK writer Tuthmosis for his “5 Reasons To Date A Girl With An Eating Disorder” article that was published a few days before mine.  I attribute much of the vitality of my article to his going absolute ape-shit insane.  If Tuth is the 10 at the bar garnering all of the attention from dudes, I’m the fat ugly 3 sitting there hoping some dude is going to get drunk enough to go dumpster diving.

First, violence rarely solves anything.  Posting that you want to kill me in some extremely inhumane ways will do nothing but give you a temporary dopamine hit that you did your part to fend off the mean, scary blogger.  Do what you please, it’s a free country.  However, I must pose this question: if you feel so compelled to write such things, why do you feel that way?  If I’m so wrong, it wouldn’t bother you.  Much like when a toddler tells you 2+2=5, you simply laugh them off and continue on your merry way.  However, it seems very few people were able to do such a thing on this article.  It seems as if the hate is rising, seething underneath these petty insults, because it’s the truth.

What’s that, the truth you say?  Nobody ever gets upset if it’s truly bullshit.  People are all riled up over this because they look in the mirror and see the reality of the world we live in.  I call things like I see it, and I put it down on paper for others to read and learn from.  Whether it’s ugly or not.

Secondly, the context of this article is simply being taken out of hand.  Is it satire and/or trolling?  No.  Let’s think about it though.  “20 Things Women Should Be Shamed For, Not Celebrated.”  To me, this means that these are things women shouldn’t be doing, as well as opening open avenues of exploration for what is, dare I say, good behavior.

Being a slut; girls hate other girls who are sluts and shame each other with the word.  So we SHOULD encourage girls to sleep with every guy they come across?

Being fat; it’s not healthy, should we not encourage people to eat right, exercise, and be healthy?

Being on welfare; should we not encourage women to be getting jobs and not be reliant on the government?

These seem to be the ones that people are hating on the most, so I felt the need to address them.  Now that we’ve thought about it in that context, does it really sound so bad?  We want to encourage girls to pick the right men to have sex with, to be healthy human beings, and to pursue their careers and not rely on the government to pay their way.

Wow, I really am such an asshole. <– THAT is satire.

If you think that women should sleep with every guy they find remotely attractive, should never exercise, and should pop out tons of babies and collect checks from the government, then perhaps you need to take a good long hard look in the mirror and realize that the truth hurts.  Notice, though, that some points such as lying about online dating, paternity fraud, and divorce haven’t really come under as much fire.  Clearly then, I can reasonably state that some of these commenters calling for my death actually believed they were very good points, because they stayed hush hush about them.

Finally, many people have told me I’m a worthless piece of shit who is turned on by donkey porn, lives in my mom’s basement, and fucks myself in the ass with a giant dildo while playing Warcraft.  One sentence later, they crucify me for hiding behind an avatar and pen name.

Obviously, if the first was true, I would hide behind an avatar and pen name.  Really though, take a look around at my articles here, and my own personal blog.  Do I really sound like a fat nerd who never steps outside of his basement except to buy another 2-liter of Mountain Dew Code Red?  Get a grip people. I blog under a pen name because I have a wonderful family (my little sister reads my blog), I have beautiful girls in my life whom I care deeply about (some of them read this), I’m in superb shape, and I have a fast-tracking career with a great company.  Am I bragging?  Perhaps a little, but there was really no way to say the last points without doing so.  If I really wanted to brag, I’d say I’m fucking models, drive a Ferrari, bench press 1,000 pounds, and am a CEO at Google.

I’ve worked hard to get where I am today.  Continue to criticize me behind your own anonymous usernames.  Go ahead and cry to the Twitter-gods calling for my suspension, in addition to calling for my testicles, head, and just about any body part that can be mutilated.  Just realize, I’m the one out there living, breathing, and writing about life.

All you do is read the article and become so enraged you feel the need to shout disturbing death threats to a stranger on the Internet.

To that I say, the truth hurts.

Read More: What I Learned From Death