A common trope among left-wing keyboard jockies are privilege checklists. They have male privilege checklists, white privilege checklists and even cisgender checklists and skinny-privilege checklists.

The most amusingly self-absorbed and grossly incorrect approach to privilege is the aforementioned male privilege checklist.  A review of the claims shows most all of them are based on a white, middle-class plus lifestyle with straight parents. To the more historically-aware, feminism is truly the white woman’s privilege. Further still, it is based out of narcissism, as women are fleeing feelings and place a great emphasis on the trappings of power: degrees, placement in corporate/government hierarchies and general monetary wealth. Marriage and motherhood are often seen as the ultimate trap, unless they can make marriage and motherhood all about them. Which they do.

The modern female privilege is, at the apex, embodied by Sheryl Sandberg: a woman who has benefited from a system rigged to uplift women at the expense of men. Sandberg also had the cash to outsource her motherhood to nannies and her domestic duties to maids. Further, she is the CEO of Facebook, a major social media outlet catering to female wants and needs.

While she certainly is an aspirational symbol for most women — as the vast majority of women will never taste her level of class and power privilege — she represents the privilege the modern woman enjoys. She still retains the reigns in the domestic sphere – but can outsource the work involved to lower-status women, while retaining the power. She enjoys a media market that caters almost exclusively to women, save the Internet. TV, radio and print magazines all reflect the dominant strain of female interests. Further, relationships are skewed more than ever in a woman’s favor – most strikingly in divorce court.

These confluent tributaries speak to the privilege the modern woman enjoys and allows her unprecedented levels of autonomy with respects to work/life balance. While some of the privilege operates independent of men, a majority of the privileges afforded operate at the expense of men.

Without further ado, let’s unpack this invisible knapsack of female privilege.

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1. Women Are The Authority In The Domestic Sphere

This is a remnant of more balanced times, when women had primacy in the domestic and childcare realms. These twin privileges still exist to this day. The one major modification to this social approach is that many women do not have a husband, either choosing to raise their children alone or with a female partner.

Women still maintain a primacy over the entire home – the location, the size, the decor and ambiance within the dwelling. Most men do not have much — if any — power to affect these decisions. Women, by and large, control the arc of heterosexual relations. Men may be able to exert control over how expensive of a house they may want, but the strong majority of men are powerless to affect the living arrangements of their own homes. Where do you think the concept of the man-cave came from? It has evolved from men desiring to have hand in a relationship in which they do not have power, so they choose a childish and passive-aggressive way of exerting themselves without actually having to learn to deal with and interact with their wives. And this even assumes a woman has a man in her life – she could be doing this alone.

This furthers extends to the raising of the children. Women have long been considered moral superiors to men in America — and the West, generally — and this privilege extended to the rearing of children. It is indubitably true that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world, given the proliferation of a field called psychology which realizes and understands many problematic thought processes and behaviors are an adaption to poor parenting – which includes poor mothering.  As I wrote a few weeks ago, healthy mothering is absolutely crucial in raising healthy people. It is doubly so in America where so many single mothers raise their children alone. Those mothers become solely responsible for their children, as how can she blame her children’s poor life choices on an absent father? He wasn’t there to affect their development, only she was. This is an incredible privilege women enjoy.

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2. Media Caters To And Soothes Female Egos

If ROK’s past week has been any indication, women expect media to cater to their egos and if it does not, to demand that authority figures dispense with opinions that cause rage within them.

This shows how women relate to media, as they see media as a source of  therapy. The wider media responds to this demand, supplying women with countless websites that cater to women’s limited, but varying interests such as men, marriage, babies, men, fashion, and men. Of course, highly popular websites such as Jezebel and Gawker manage to distill the self-absorption of the modern woman and repackage it through feminist and left-wing views that either incite the rage or anxiety in the viewer. With plenty of sex talk, celebrity gossip and feeling superior to others, of course.

Regardless, this is how women regard media. They expect to be able to turn on any media outlet and have their egos massaged. They expect to see superlatives lavished on them, expecting to see fat women being called “beautiful,” physically unattractive women described as “beautiful,” in fact, most of the media coverage seems to be reaffirming the viewer that she is, in fact, beautiful. Not average, not above-average, but beautiful.

Of course, ferocity, independence and intelligence are always assumed on the part of the woman. Think about that – female egos are not even worried about actually being smart or tough, as they assume that they are that just by existing.  They do need reassurance they are not just physically attractive, but beautiful. And the media caters to that and soothes their existentialist torment over their own perceived physical attractiveness.

This is the privilege women enjoy. Men don’t get to turn on the TV and hear how handsome they are, how capable they are or how valuable they are just for existing. No, they get to hear about how they aren’t satisfying their women, how they don’t do enough housework or childcare work. Isn’t it sad how Americans perceive taking care of their children as “work?” So much for unconditional love.

Regardless, women enjoy great privilege in the media, as they can sidle up with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s on their over-priced couch, turn on MTV and be catered to exclusively by the media. While being beautiful, of course.

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3. The Relationship/Divorce Industry Is Staunchly Pro-Woman

Women, collectively, have the upper hand in American relationships.

The constellation of magazines, TV shows and media attention focused on female sexual and romantic well-being is simply astounding. Bevies of sympathetic experts crowd each other out in the romance marketplace, offering up salves to the aching hearts of women. Female loneliness is universally recognized, their desires and emotional needs prioritized over men’s commensurate needs. This industry toils tirelessly to produce articles to help women find better partners, help solve their relationship issues or assuage their angst. The only remotely mainstream website that focuses on the needs of men in today’s world is Return of Kings. No other site combines advice for game, lifestyle, weight-lifting, finances and general intellectual betterment than Return of Kings.

However, this isn’t even the pinnacle of female relational privilege, that reaches its zenith in the hallowed — or demonic — halls of America’s divorce courts. Sure, visit websites like the National Parents Organization or the Wikipedia entry for Father’s Rights. However, it should be obvious anybody with a brain capable of seeing beyond it’s own self that men are routinely and systematically discriminated against in divorce court. Perhaps one of the greatest privileges a modern woman enjoys is the ability to clean her husband’s emotional and financial clock in divorce court. She overwhelmingly gets to retain custody of her children. A saying amongst family law lawyers is that if you put a skirt on the facts, suddenly it swings a judge’s opinion towards the “facts.”

Imagine what it is like to be in a marriage in which one party gets to dissolve the union for no reason and take the majority of the family wealth. At any point. What a privilege.

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Conclusion

Privileged Patty squatted herself down on her couch. Her actual weight and physical attractiveness are entirely irrelevant as patriarchal norms based out of male dominance needlessly hierarchize female worth. Privileged Patty is inherently beautiful. And, just being born a woman, she is born with intelligence, capability and insight known only by women.

She flips on the TV while downing a glass of wine, with the channel Male Privilege flickering across her brand-new plasma screen. In fact, Jezebel declared her new TV to be the only female-only constructed TV on sale in America.

“Honestly,” thought Patty, “It is about time those women in Vietnam got with the feminist program.”

Patty on and watched Male Privilege and sipped her wine. The show highlighted the inherent stupidity, arrogance and perception of superiority these men have. God, they all think they are just impossibly handsome.

“Mommy!” said Patty’s daughter running up to Patty on the couch, with a Hispanic woman chasing after her,”Look what I made!”

“That’s nice,” said Patty, gesturing towards the Hispanic woman while feigning a grin at her daughter. “Maria, get Ophelia out of here! This is my ‘Lean In‘ time!”

Maria carted Patty’s daughter off, as Ophelia lamely gesturing towards Patty with her gingerbread man.

Patty settled back in, killing yet another glass of wine, feeling she was free of oppressive elements outside herself for the moment. Male Privilege continued and showcased men who refused to play a major role in their children’s lives and their mother’s insistence that those fathers take a more active role.

“Patty,” said a soft, but vaguely masculine voice, “We need to talk about Gregor’s and Ophelia’s grades in school. I fear…”

Patty shot her eyes to the source of the voice – it was her co-parent, Stefan. She regarded him for a second before sharply remarking, “Didn’t we discuss ‘Lean In‘ together? This is my time. We decided we shall discuss our children’s grades on Wednesday at dinner. When that Hispanic bitch watches our kids.”

Stefan recoiled a bit with Patty’s last sentence, “Maria plays a great role in our children’s lives, Patty!”

Patty started drinking yet another glass of wine, “I know.” She then looked Stefan in his eyes directly, glaring right at her oppressor. He promptly left the living room.

Given all the guilt put on her by Stefan, her children and her maid Maria, Patty was drowning in oppression.

She turned on the ultimate feminist TV channel, known as “Nothing Is Ever Your Fault.”

“Exactly,” she said as she polished off her last glass of wine, “It is so tough to be a woman these days.

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