During the Age of Exploration, multitudes of settlers began crossing oceans to tame new frontiers. Many were fleeing religious persecution, such as the Puritans who were kicked out of Britain for being too uptight. Others were young, adventurous, and ambitious enough to seek their fortunes in a far-off land they’d never seen. However, it even worked for the unambitious. Australia was once a colony for pickpockets and other petty criminals. Nonetheless, they got their act together, and it became industrialized and (despite some problems) overall a pretty cool place.

There’s a place already even cooler, way down under. There’s a nearly empty continent just right for the ambition-challenged of today. Who should be “encouraged” to get one-way tickets to Antarctica?

Human Resources

Making the workplace pleasant and enjoyable for all

What do HR droids do, anyway? Since I have valuable skills, I’m disqualified from such a position. However, as far as I can gather, it involves a lot of Solitaire, Minesweeper, Facebook, and Tinder. When they’re not too busy with that, they push papers, act as the gatekeepers for prospective employees (even though they often don’t understand the industry enough to assess qualifications), prevent employees from flirting, and arrange for those all-important diversity and sensitivity training seminars.

HR departments essentially serve as shovel-ready boondoggles for those who made the mistake of majoring in sociology or women’s studies. If Daddy’s money didn’t fund the four-year Cock Carousel ride, they’ve got to pay off all that student loan debt somehow! Simply put, HR is dead weight for any company. They draw a salary for doing nothing valuable. Let’s put this unproductive overhead to work, sending them to a promising new continent!

Dope fiends

Smoking weed occasionally has its effects, but isn’t the worst thing in the world. However, chronic use makes potheads lazy and stupid. The hard stuff—heroin, crack, and meth—is far worse, making users act like zombies. It’s lots of fun, until they go in and out and back again to prison, where these wasteoids are supervised 24×7 at taxpayer expense. They’re also a burden on society otherwise, which is why dope is illegal. To get their fix, they’ll mooch and steal until they’ve burnt everyone who cares about them. Then these Gollum-like creatures hit the street and keep committing crimes.

If they realize they’re wasting their lives and do something about it, great. All too often, though, they become frequent fliers in prison and otherwise leech off of society. Since Antarctica doesn’t have a drug trade, it’s the perfect opportunity to unscrew their heads before they die of an overdose.

Beggars

Got any spare change? I promise I’ll spend it on food. Malt liquor and Thunderbird are my favorite food groups!

One of the first effects of politically correct language was to get everyone calling vagrants “homeless”. The sillier term, “urban campers”, never caught on. I prefer the older words. Hobos got whatever day labor they could find, tramps worked if absolutely necessary, and bums refused to work even for survival. On a serious note, it’s a complex topic. Some get in that condition after a string of misfortunes. I have no problem with those ones. I wish the hobos all the luck in the world.

Other vagrants are dope fiends and winos. They don’t belong on the streets; they belong in rehab. Also, many lunatics refuse psychiatric treatment. Back in the day, the Supreme Court changed the rules on involuntary institutionalization, releasing hordes from state bughouses. Soon, the smelly and crazy panhandlers were everywhere. (Somehow Reagan got blamed.) Then there are terminally lazy bums. I’ve known one; he wouldn’t get up off his fat ass if you lit the couch on fire. When deprived of a couch, he’d hit streets, dumpster-diving for junk food. He fathered two kids before his heart gave out in his 30s.

There’s an old term that fits: useless eaters. Perhaps the arbeitsscheu will figure out how to do something constructive in a bright new colony.

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Social Justice Warriors

Dude, do you even lift?

Feminism is nauseating, but I realize that most ordinary feminists were merely suckered by a propaganda campaign conditioning them to believe they’re oppressed. Unlike the propagandists themselves, garden-variety feminists have human souls (although it’s hard to tell sometimes). However, I have zero understanding for Social Justice Warriors, the “anti-everything” crowd. SJWs hate their society with a religious zeal. This goes beyond believing too many lies.

Simply put, they want to make war on society. These nihilistic tempests in a teapot fail to realize that being a rebel without a clue is for fourteen-year-olds. SJWs are pitiable mental cases who repost stupid memes on Tumblr, spout lame slogans like “Check your privilege!”, and conduct online dogpiling campaigns to punish people for disagreeing with them. Somehow they think these antics improve the world. SJWs oppose all that is natural, normal, beautiful, productive, and successful.

To hell with them—but until then, to Antarctica! If these pathetic oxygen thieves want a socialist paradise, let them build it among the penguins. Maybe they’ll get pecked to death shortly after Year Zero fails horribly.

Chronic welfare recipients

Don’t breed ’em if you can’t feed ’em!

When I was about eight years old, my liberal parents explained the concept of welfare. Innocently, I asked if anyone chooses just to collect a check instead of working. A horrified look followed after what their little hellion said, and I was told emphatically that it never happens. Now their future shitlord is grown up, and like many citizens, I’m sick of paying taxes for millions of loafers who vegetate in front of their TVs all day, most having not the slightest relation to me.

Some are unable to work through no fault of their own. They’re not the problem. Rather, it’s insane to support perpetual alms-seekers who don’t even try, despite being perfectly able-bodied and having no mental problems besides the deadly sin of sloth. First, we must bring jobs back. Then we need to pull the remaining slackers off the public tit. A social safety net is beneficial only if it’s well-run, efficient, encourages self-sufficiency, and returns people to the workforce.

Res ipse loquitur.

LBJ started the War on Poverty, resulting in intergenerational poverty. (Way to go, Champ!) Those who couldn’t hack it in society started getting paid to stay at home and reproduce, ultimately worsening urban blight. Meanwhile, higher tax burdens started making it more difficult for productive citizens to have children. In normal families, parents teach kids about their careers, encourage education, and instill a work ethic that gets them ahead in life. As for the single moms (and more rarely, the baby daddies), maybe they show them the ropes about filling out government forms and gaming The System.

It’s basically the takers versus the makers; “We feed, they breed.” I don’t mind the feeding part so much as the breeding. That’s what brings us ever closer to an Idiocracy scenario. Only adversity can get evolution out of reverse gear, so it’s time for Atlas to shrug. Why not end the cycle of poverty and settle them in a land of opportunity where they can figure out how to earn their daily bread?

Fainéants dehors!

One last hit before I have to pack my bags…

Some will object that Antarctica is an icy wasteland with few resources and no agriculture. Well, if Japan and Singapore can support themselves on manufacture, surely our future Antarctic colonists can figure that out too. Sink or swim, slackers!

Don’t miss Beau’s book catalog. Good stuff!

Read More: 7 Research Subjects That Became Taboo After Cultural Marxists Took Over

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