Assuming you do not have any glaring chinks in the armor and your game is up to par, the number one reason you are not getting traction with women has to do with something that is actually virtually out of your control: sexual availability. If a woman is not sexually available it matters little what your market value is, your attractiveness, or the adeptness of your game. If she is not available you’re not getting shit.
What is Sexual Availability
Sexual availability is just that: when a woman is willing and ready to get intimate with a man, she will open her legs to him if he plays his cards right: if she is not available sexually then she won’t be having sex with him; end of discussion. Due to the volatile nature of women, there are myriads of different reasons as to why she is not in a sexually available state.
Due to male thirst and the lopsided nature of the marketplace, a women’s pipeline is always full. Since there is an enormous supply of eligible bachelors available to her, the large majority of women are sexually involved with at least one person (often times multiple). This person could be a husband, a boyfriend, or just some fuck buddy she met on Tinder a week ago. If a woman is satisfied with the person(s) she is having intimate relations with, there really is not much you can do but wait your turn in line. No amount of game, wealth, or status is going to change this if her sexual needs are being met.
Fortunately, a woman’s sexual status is ever changing due to her fickle and hypergamous nature. There have been countless times in my career in which I would meet a woman, we would hit it off, but since she was already sexually invested in someone else things would go nowhere; then out of the blue, in a matter of weeks once things inevitably fizzled out with her current squeeze she would reach out to me. The key is to not waste too much time with a girl you sense is already sexually spell-bounded, or is not currently looking to add to the roster. If you made a good enough impression, weren’t needy, and there was real attraction established, once she is back on the market she’ll seek you out.
Women are easily unhinged and inherently emotional creatures. They change their minds as often as a person changes their clothes. Don’t let a bitchy and dismissive woman throw you off your game. A few years ago I met a cute gal at an after party. I approached, introduced myself, and tried to establish rapport with the intent of getting her number. She was low energy and almost seemed bothered by my advances; talking to her was like talking to a wall. Since I was not getting a lot of traction I ejected.
Four weeks later I was out with a friend and his girlfriend. His girlfriend mentioned to me that one of her attractive friends had inquired about me. I asked to see pictures of her—to my surprise it was the disinterested bitch from the party. I was baffled that she was asking about me considering how cold she was the night I met her. When I told my friends how uninviting she was, they informed me that she had just broken up with her boyfriend whom she discovered was cheating on her, and was therefore in a deep state of despair. Quite an eye-opening experience: this woman was unresponsive to me because she was undergoing a difficult moment in her life, not because she was not attracted to me.
If you talk to as many women as I do, you’re going to encounter women who just don’t give you much to work with. Oftentimes, it has nothing to do with you, but more to do with her. She could be going through a breakup, just lost her job, dealing with a death in the family, and countless other reasons for her unapproachable disposition. This segues to my final point…
Timing & Logistics
A lot of your success with women is going to be dependent on good timing and proper logistics. You ever court a woman and everything just seems to fall into place with such minimal effort? You then try to repeat the same formula with a new girl but it just doesn’t play out the same way. This was because you were probably in the right place at the right time.
Sometimes the stars just don’t align properly. Everyone has had that experience in which they’ve met a cute girl at the bar, sparks are flying, everything seems to be going according to plan, yet inexplicably they find themselves going home empty-handed at the end of the night. Little did they know she had a plane to catch at 5:30 am, or it may have been that time of the month, and as a result, she could not go home with him; the reasons are infinite.
The most common obstacle that I’ve been faced with when trying to get a slut from the club to come home with me is trouncing her overprotective and jealous friends. It is difficult to extract a woman you’ve just met that is having a “girls night out”. Women place so much importance in the approval of friends. It is unlikely she is going to go home with a man she just met due to the fear of being slut-shamed by her friends, even if in her heart she desires him. Note: a good wingman or two can greatly increase the odds of success when approaching a group; most times it’s futile trying to single-handedly penetrate a group on your own.
Logistics are pretty straight-forward. If you’re with a girl and not within good proximity to take her home it’s always going to be an uphill battle. I have conflated sexual availability with timing and logistics because they are all intertwined. If it’s not the right timing, or you don’t have the right logistics, you’re probably not going to get laid; thus making that woman you are in pursuit of sexually unavailable to you.
Experienced players and men who play the numbers game quickly realize that there is a small window of opportunity. When the window is open you must strike while the iron is hot or risk not having that opportunity again. While things such as sexual market value and game have a direct impact on the amount of success you will have, there are many things that are unfortunately out of your control.
Take solace in the fact that game success is largely contingent on timing and good fortune. The women you court won’t always be primed for seduction, and very often than not it has little to do with you and mostly to do with her. Your recourse should be to approach often and not give a shit about the outcome. You mitigate the frustrations by staying on your grind and living a life of sexual abundance. A good player can quickly determine which girls are ripe for the picking and which girls are just there to waste his time.
Read More: How Bad Logistics Can Ruin Your Game